When I see someone crying, I always ask if it's because of their haircut.
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To me, unless you're referring to an actual feline, grab'em by the pussy means this:
Paulie's Pixel Palace
Happy Anniversary! Wish you many more.
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Yes, I spent my extra time scraping resin from my lucky skull-bong, and breaking-down Amazon boxes.
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No, but I think she made this:
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I wish
I lacked
common sense
You seem so happy
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Maybe the problem is not your phone...
Perhaps you boys have wives who don't want you to see what they're up to at that moment.
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Eschew? Gesundheit!
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As Trump says, If there's fluff on the muff, she's old enuff!
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What did the Texas virgin say after the first time she had sex?
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Git off me, Daddy! You're crushin' mah cigarettes!
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Yes, as Carry Nation once said,
Men are nicotine-soaked, beer-besmirched, whiskey-greased, red-eyed devils.
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Yes, as Teddy Roosevelt once said,
Ah, women,,, A woman's mouth gives voice to her beauty. It can fill a man's heart with joy and soothe the most troublesome of tempers. But one must also remember its indispensable role as a safe repository for the seed of man's virility.
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Congratulations! You're the first person to ever use the word 'nay' in an IHUB post!
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WOW! That escalated quickly!
How you made the leap from that delicious taco to starving college protesters is inexplicable.
Who knows what connections you'd attach to my favorite sub:
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Here's what I think should've won that sammich contest - a Polish taco! It has a pierogi taco-shell:
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As my old teacher, Miss Crabtree, once said, English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
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You must mean cavalry. Calvary is where they nailed Christ to the cross.
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Yes, as much as I'd like to Uber up there with an aluminum bat, I think I'll stay safely at home, and scrape the crusty red stains from yesterday's Curly-Fries on my pajamas.
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Hannity is squeezing gallons of masturbatory mileage out of this.
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I'd love to stay and chit-chat with you about that jerkoff, but I'm now watching the New York City police beat the hell out of some Trump-loving Columbia U students.
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Again, I've never heard, seen, or read any valid explanation of why they didn't use forks.
I'm sure the samurai wore some sort of fanny-pack to carry their chopsticks, nunchucks and throwing stars.
They have built beautiful hand-carved temples, perfected the art of sword-making, mastered paper, calligraphy and silk making, yet they didn't use a fork!
How about these:
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In my will, I've named you to second me.
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Yes, I watched Shogun and I have several questions:
1. Why, after 15 hours of show (10 shows @ 1½) there wasn't a minute of sun. Just cold, rainy days or snowing.
2. Had no idea who was who. All the Lords looked the same.
3. Seriously, as smart and advanced as the Japanese are, why didn't they invent the fork, instead of chopsticks?
4. Why didn't they invent the chair? They're all sitting on the floor. Do you how hard it is to get up off the floor after you're 50 years old?
5. You want more pillowing? Turn the channel to Skin-a-Max.
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💥 TRUMP: I'M SELLING RINGTONES OF MY OWN FARTS
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I'm trying
to stop being mean
but it's like you
have to stop
being stupid first
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They don't ID you
at the liquor store
anymore because
they see the light
has left your eyes.
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🍊🤡⬅️ORANGE CLOWN - DONNIE MAR-A-LARDO
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If Trump's hands are clean, it's only because his whorehouse does manicures.
Here's a real man on his wedding day:
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Yes, I especially miss your culinary stories about how you butchered a cow, and marinated the meat for a week in a stew of BBQ sauce, vinegar, moonshine, fava beans and goat jizz.
And, after simmering for 8 hours in a pressure cooker, it was then roasted over a mesquite fire, while being seasoned with a 3lb. stick of butter coated with Crisco, then deep-fried, and dipped in a mixture of olive oil and Ranch dressing.
I'm making myself hungry.
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Forget those golden sneakers! Here's the NEW scam:
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You're writing a column for the Farmer's Almanac?
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🐔🐮 Seems like Global Warming has been good to you. This year there was no snow blocking the road, cracked axles, lost cows, thistle fights, night time stalkers, wandering cattle, and barbed wire horror stories.
Every day you'd post about your Nazi neighbors and broken equipment.
Glad to see things have gotten easier.
BTW, I found this pic of Clint Eastwood at 93:
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