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The Tantric adept from Vermont
To show his adroitness is wont
To hold it all back
Till his balls turn blue-black
And then spew spouts of sperm like a font.
A careless shop prof in New Hampshire
Got his 2-by-6 caught in a clamp. Sure
Enough, it got dented,
Which his missus lamented
'Cause now he just fingers and champs her.
Dirty Limericks for every State in the Union!
A recent ex-virgin from Maine
Found intercourse mostly a pain:
"He just rips off my drawers,
Spews, rolls over and snores,
Leaving me in a rank, sodden stain."
Jan 20, 2003
Top NHL Prospects
-------------------
The following is the midseason evaluation of prospects, as ranked by NHL Central Scouting, for the 2003 draft, which will be held in Nashville: NORTH AMERICAN DEFENSE/FORWARDS ---------------- Rank Name Team 1. Eric Staal, c, Peterborough (OHL) 2. Dustin Brown, rw, Guelph (OHL) 3. Thomas Vanek, lw, Minnesota (WCHA) 4. Marc-Antoine Pouliot, c, Rimouski (QMJHL) 5. Nathan Horton, c, Oshawa (OHL) 6. Ryan Getzlaf, c, Calgary (WHL) 7. Dion Phaneuf, d, Red Deer (WHL) 8. Braydon Coburn, d, Portland (WHL) 9. Ryan Stone, c, Brandon (WHL) 10. Ryan Suter, d, U.S. National Team 11. Zach Parise, c, North Dakota (WCHA) 12. Dan Fritsche, c, Sarnia (OHL) 13. Richard Stehlik, d, Sherbrooke (QMJHL) 14. Patrick O'Sullivan, c, Mississauga (OHL) 15. Steve Bernier, rw, Moncton (QMJHL) 16. Eric Fehr, rw, Brandon (WHL) 17. Mark Stuart, d, Colorado College (WCHA) 18. Alexandre Bolduc, c, Rouyn Noranda (QMJHL) 19. Anthony Stewart, c-rw, Kingston (OHL) 20. Ryan Kesler, c, Ohio State (CCHA) 21. Kamil Kreps, c, Brampton (OHL) 22. Maxim Lapierre, c, Montreal (QMJHL) 23. Kevin Klein, d, Toronto St. Michael's (OHL) 24. Stefan Meyer, lw, Medicine Hat (WHL) 25. Brent Seabrook, d, Lethbridge (WHL) 26. Jonathan Filewich, rw, Prince George (WHL) 27. Jeremy Colliton, c, Prince Albert (WHL) 28. Jeff Carter, c, Sault Ste. Marie, (OHL) 29. Patrice Bergeron, c, Acadie-Bathurst (QMJHL) 30. Louis-Philippe Martin, rw, Baie Comeau (QMJHL) 31. Brian Boyle, c, St. Sebastian's (USHS) 32. Marc-Andre Bernier, rw, Halifax (QMJHL) 33. Patrick Eaves, rw, Boston College (HE) 34. David Liffiton, d, Plymouth (OHL) 35. Hugh Jessiman, rw, Dartmouth (ECAC) 36. Colin Fraser, c, Red Deer (WHL) 37. Jeff Tambellini, lw, Michigan (CCHA) 38. Jamie Tardif, c-rw, Peterborough (OHL) 39. Frank Rediker, d, Windsor (OHL) 40. Philippe Dupuis, c, Hull (QMJHL) 41. Shawn Belle, d, Tri-City (WHL) 42. Aaron Dawson, d, Peterborough (OHL) 43. Mike Richards, c, Kitchener (OHL) 44. Matt Smaby, d, Shattuck-St. Mary's (USHS) 45. Mike Egener, d, Calgary (WHL) 46. Shane Hynes, rw, Cornell (ECAC) 47. John Doherty, d, Phillips-Andover (USHS) 48. Danny Richmond, d, Michigan (CCHA) 49. Pavel Voroshnin, d, Mississauga (OHL) 50. Guillaume Desbiens, rw, Rouyn Noranda (QMJHL) NORTH AMERICAN GOALTENDERS -------------- Rank Name Team 1. Marc-Andre Fleury, Cape Breton (QMJHL) 2. Alvaro Montoya, Michigan (CCHA) 3. James Howard, Maine (HE) 4. Jonathan Boutin, Halifax (QMJHL) 5. Corey Crawford, Moncton (QMJHL) 6. Ryan Munce, Sarnia (OHL) 7. Chris Holt, U.S. National team 8. David Tremblay, Hull (QMJHL) 9. Mike Brown, Saginaw (USHL) 10. Kevin Nastiuk, Medicine Hat (WHL) EUROPEAN DEFENSE/FORWARDS ---------------- Rank Name Team 1. Nikolai Zherdev, lw, CSKA (Russia) 2. Milan Michalek, rw, Budejovice (Czech) 3. Konstantin Glazachev, lw, Yaroslavl 2 (Russia) 4. Igor Mirnov, rw, Dynamo (Russia) 5. Denis Ezhov, d, Togliatti (Russia) 6. Robert Nilsson, c-w, Leksand (Sweden) 7. Vojtech Polak, lw, Karlovy Vary (Czech) 8. Yevgeny Tunik, lw, Elektrostal (Russia) 9. Ivan Khomutov, rw, Elektrostal (Russia) 10. Michal Barinka, d, Budejovice (Czech) 11. Dimitri Kosmachev, d, CSKA (Russia) 12. Tim Ramholt, d, Zurich (Swiss) 13. Dimitri Pestunov, c, Magnitogorsk (Russia) 14. Grigory Shafigulin, c, Yaroslavl 2 (Russia) 15. Andrei Kostitsyn, c-w, CSKA (Russia) 16. Johan Fransson, d, Lulea (Sweden) 17. Evgeny Isakov, lw, Cherepovets (Russia) 18. Alexei Ivanov, c, Yaroslavl 2 (Russia) 19. Kevin Romy, c-w, Geneve (Swiss) 20. Arsi Pisspanen, c-w, Jokerit Jr. (Finland) 21. Liam Lindstrom, c, Mora (Sweden) 22. Ruslan Khasanshin, lw, Samara (Russia) 23. Patric Valcak, w, Ostrava (Czech) 24. Dimitri Chernikh, rw, Khimik (Russia) 25. Andreas Valdix, c-w, Malmo (Sweden) EUROPEAN GOALTENDERS ----------- Rank Name Team 1. Konstantin Barulin, Tjumen (Russia) 2. Jakub Cech, Havirov (Czech) 3. Ruslan Sidikov, CSKA (Russia) 4. Patrick Ehelechner, Landshut (Germany) 5. Tommi Tervo, Jyvaskyla (Finland)
More history for Roy on ESPN2
When the puck dropped tonight, Patrick Roy, left, became the first goalie in NHL history to play 1,000 games, as the red-hot Dallas Stars visit the Colorado Avalanche at the Pepsi Center (in progress, ESPN2) looking to extend their longest unbeaten streak in nearly two years to 11 games. Elsewhere Monday, the Bruins and Capitals skated to a 3-3 tie, and the the Wild shocked the Mighty Ducks in OT.
NOTES: Minnesota has not allowed a power-play goal in six straight games, matching its longest streak of the season. Opponents are 0-for-23 with the man advantage during that stretch ... The only players left on the Minnesota roster from the 2000 expansion draft are C Darby Hendrickson, D Filip Kuba and C Jim Dowd ... Roloson has not allowed more than two goals in any of his last six starts, but his teammates have scored only 14 goals in the last eight games.
Nieuwendyk hits milestone
At last, he's reach the 500 goals mark
By DARREN EVERSON
Faceoff.com correspondent
It was a moment Joe Nieuwendyk and the New Jersey Devils had been waiting for.
It was also one that may not occur much more often in the NHL.
After a slow offensive start to the season, Nieuwendyk at last scored his 500th goal in the Devils' 2-1 defeat of the Hurricanes in Raleigh, N.C, on Jan. 17.
All of the Devils left the bench and ventured onto the ice to celebrate Nieuwendyk's addition to a club of all-time greats that now numbers 32.
"It's amazing," said Jamie Langenbrunner, a teammate of Nieuwendyk's for seven years, going back to their time with the Stars. "You're not going to see too many more guys get that many."
As is the case with the 300-win mark in baseball, this group may not gain many more members in the forseeable future because of the way the game is changing.
"You're not seeing too many guys score 500 anymore," Langenbrunner said. "If you're not scoring 50, you need to play a lot of years scoring 40 or 30."
Fifteen years, to be exact, if you're averaging 35 goals per season. Just 14 players scored 35 last season; only five scored 40. The freewheeling days of the '80s, in which Nieuwendyk had his sole two 50-goal seasons, have long since ended.
Perhaps this is why it's such a big event each time a player reaches 500.
"The list of (500-goal scorers) is relatively small in relation to the long history of the NHL," said Nieuwendyk, who accomplished it in 15-1/2 seasons and 1,077 games. The next milestone for him is 1,000 points, which he is 12 away from.
"Thirty-two players," he said. "I'm awfully proud to be in that group."
Nieuwendyk did it by intercepting an errant Glen Wesley pass at center ice and carried it into Carolina's zone. He beat Sean Hill to the net, maneuvered around goaltender Kevin Weekes, who came out to challenge him, and deposited the puck into an empty cage unassisted at 11:18.
"Probably the nicest 500th I ever saw," coach Pat Burns said. "Usually they go off somebody's (rear)."
Burns, who motioned for the Devils to leave the bench when Nieuwendyk scored (general manager Lou Lamoriello got permission from the league for them to do so), has been solidly in the veteran center's corner all season. Nieuwendyk endured a 20-game goal drought earlier this season and had five goals total before he scored his 500th, but Burns defended his contributions with reporters, trumpeting the 36-year-old's work ethic and presence in the dressing room.
As far as 500 goes, next up on the list is Jaromir Jagr, who had 493 career goals as of Jan. 20, 23 this season. If he scores seven more, he'll be the third player to reach 500 this season; Joe Sakic (502) got there Dec. 11.
Fired Therrien looking to stay in NHL, avoids criticizing Habs
BILL BEACON
Canadian Press
Monday, January 20, 2003
CREDIT: (CP/Paul Chiasson)
Former Montreal Canadiens coach Michel Therrien ponders a question during a news conference, Monday in Laval, Que. (CP/Paul Chiasson)
ADVERTISEMENT
LAVAL, Que. (CP) - Try as they did, the media could not coax a negative word out of fired Montreal Canadiens head coach Michel Therrien on Monday.
"I feel no bitterness toward anybody - the players or the organization," Therrien said in his first meeting with reporters since he was fired and replaced by Claude Julien on Friday. "The organization made a decision they felt was best for the team. Do I accept it? I admit it's frustrating, but I have to accept it."
Calm and in good humour amid the faux Greek columns and palm trees of the sprawling Onyx restaurant complex near his home in the suburbs north of Montreal, Therrien would burn no bridges.
He wished Julien and the Canadiens good luck for the rest of the season and thanked everyone from team owner George Gillett to the man who fired him, general manager Andre Savard.
He even thanked the reporters, joking that "it might be the first time it wasn't the media that fired the coach," and when asked about his running feud with referee Kerry Fraser, wisely said: "I don't want to talk about my dear friend Kerry today."
Therrien, 39, hopes to find another coaching job in the NHL and making a noisy, finger-pointing exit wouldn't have helped that cause.
While as yet there have been no coaching offers, he was offered to stay on as a pro scout with the Canadiens, to whom he remains under contract until the end of the 2003-04 season. He is to discuss it with Savard next week, but his heart is in coaching.
"I'm convinced I'll be back, either as a head coach or as an assistant, in the NHL," he said. "I'm a career coach."
There is already talk that he may be hired as an assistant to his old friend Bob Hartley in Atlanta. Therrien was once an assistant to Hartley in junior hockey.
Therrien said he got a call from Hartley the day he was fired, but they didn't discuss a coaching job.
"It was more to pat me on the back than anything," Therrien said of the call.
The closest Therrien came to criticism was when asked about the short tenure of Canadiens coaches in recent years. Julien is the Habs' fourth head coach in seven years. Therrien was fired in only his third season.
"Stability is important," said Therrien. "You wish people would stay for a long time.
"I really wish, for the benefit of the franchise, that Claude Julien stays for a long time."
Despite a flood of injuries, Therrien's Canadiens rode Jose Theodore's goaltending to their first playoff berth in four years last season and then upset Boston in the first round before bowing out to Carolina.
But the team looked to have tuned out their fiery tempered coach this season. When the Habs won only two of their first 12 games after the Christmas break and dropped out of a playoff position, Savard opted for a coaching change.
"I took it hard," said Therrien. "It was emotional.
"It's frustrating when you think you've got things under control and you're capable of getting the team back on track. But I'm sure there's good things waiting for me (in the future)."
In their first game under Julien on Saturday night, the Canadiens lost in overtime to the visiting Toronto Maple Leafs, but played with more energy than had been seen in recent weeks.
"The Canadiens are a good team," Therrien said. "I'm convinced they'll make the playoffs and that they'll surprise people in the playoffs, like they did last year."
Few players called to wish Therrien luck, but one who did was veteran centre Doug Gilmour, who some reports had said was a leader of the anti-Therrien faction.
"Absolutely not," said Therrien. "We had a great relationship.
"He's a leader and he was an important part of the success we had last year. I'm sure he'll go to the Hall of Fame and I'm proud to say that I believe I helped him when he came here from Buffalo."
Whatever comes next for Therrien, it's sure to be quieter than the hectic life of a head coach in Montreal, where a rebuilding team is condemned to play before an audience that grew up watching the Canadiens win strings of Stanley Cups in the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s.
Therrien, not wishing to be a distraction after he was fired, elected to wait until the Habs were on road in Florida to meet with the media.
Still, his news conference was packed and carried live by three Quebec television stations.
"When you coach the Montreal Canadiens, it doesn't begin and end at the Bell Centre," he said. "It follows you everywhere you go, 24 hours a day.
"I learned a lot from this and I think it made me a better person."
New Jersey's Brodeur named NHL Player of the Week
New York, NY (Sports Network) - New Jersey Devils goaltender Martin Brodeur was named NHL Player of the Week for the period ending Sunday, January 19.
Brodeur posted four consecutive victories, while compiling a 1.25 goals- against average and a .947 save percentage.
He began the week with a 5-2 victory over the Florida Panthers and followed that with a 5-0 shutout at home over the New York Islanders. In a home-and- home series with the Carolina Hurricanes, Brodeur made 34 saves in a 2-1 win at Carolina on January 17 and then turned aside 18 shots in a 5-2 home triumph the next day.
Brodeur leads all NHL goaltenders with 25 wins and ranks third in goals- against average (1.93). He was also named to the Eastern Conference roster for the 2003 NHL All-Star Game.
Others considered for the award were Ottawa center Radek Bonk, New Jersey center Patrik Elias and Pittsburgh rookie goaltender Sebastien Caron.
Blue Jackets sign Van Impe
Columbus, OH (Sports Network) - The Columbus Blue Jackets signed free agent defenseman Darren Van Impe and recalled forwards Matt Davidson and David Ling from the Syracuse Crunch of the American Hockey League. The club also announced that defenseman Paul Manning has been assigned to Syracuse.
Van Impe, 29, was signed by the Crunch, the Blue Jackets' AHL affiliate, on January 9 and played in six games with the club. He had a goal and four assists with Syracuse.
Van Impe appeared in a combined 67 games with the New York Rangers, Florida Panthers and New York Islanders last season, recording 11 points on three goals and eight assists. He also played in seven playoff games as a member of the Islanders, notching four assists.
Van Impe has appeared in 397 career NHL games with Anaheim, Boston, the Rangers, Florida and the Islanders, tallying 24 goals and 89 assists.
Davidson, 25, has three goals and one assist in 18 games with Columbus this season. Ling, 28, is making his first appearance of the season with the Jackets. He is scoreless in eight career NHL games, including five with Columbus last season. Manning, 23, made his NHL debut with the Blue Jackets on January 4 and appeared in eight games with the club.
Flyers 4
Rangers 2
Very nice effort from Primeau!
Isles beat the thrashers 4-1
Ah, there is a viagra joke somewhere there i'm sure.
okay I have no idea what I am doing. I'm going to read a book, ha ha ha.
<nhltheme.wav>
I got this great audio thing I want to post here that plays the nhl theme song but I still have to figure it out.
Actually, I still have a list from a newsletter I had a few years back. I'm not sure how many are still current and haven't stayed in touch with them. I don't think that strategy would work well though.
Is your method some sort of trade secret or are you willing to share your plan in advance?
Hey, I think I am already on your list but I have never received anything via email. How come you don't get your site up and going?
Not yet. Know where I can get one for free? I'm not going to spend any money to try to win a contest that is going to pay me back $100.
I'm taking the train from Montana across to Boston next week. It will be the 3rd time in the past few months. It sure is cheap.
Tickets right now $133 and they are offering a 2 for 1 deal.
Joemoney is starting his effort to catch up and pass you and me churak. This should be good.
toombs? toombs? are ya here old soul?
oooh, yuck. At least here in Canada none of our politicians ever get lucky, ha ha ha.
I must say your lego site was interesting.
Well I wasn't there very long today, no good races to speak of. I did make a quick 50 on the sega though.. fine with me
I have sent out a couple emails seeking some clarification, if and when I get responses I will forward them on.
Are you going to try to email the link out to thousands of people?
Is anyone watching the philly vs. NY Rangers game? Terrible terrible terrible
Tampa is out in front and heading to the big game.
From a November news story in the Memphis Biz Journal
Read this and it might answer some of your guys questions.
Veltex buys MultiModal Transportation
Veltex Corp. says it has bought Memphis-based MultiModal Transportation, Inc.
MultiModal provides transportation services throughout the continental United States, as well as warehousing at its Memphis facility.
The company expects to expand services throughout Mexico.
The affiliation with All Coast -- MultiModal is an agent of All Coast -- allows access to over 400 trucks.
MultiModal president and CEO Andrew Fridel says the company differentiates itself in the market by stressing on-time service and reliability. Sales are secured predominantly through direct solicitation, face to face contacts, and contract services.
Fridel says with the acquisition by Veltex, MultiModal expects "to have revenues above $29 million next year, and be profitable."
Terms of the deal were not disclosed.
He says MultiModal expects to have 100 trucks by the end of this fiscal year, and another 100 trucks by the end of March.
++++++++++++++++++++
The key things to note in this release are the following IMO:
The address at 5331 Rep. Dr. is the AllCoast/Veltex office. I believe that Friedel is in that office representing Veltex Transportation (formerly Friedel's Multimodal trucking and B&W warehousing)
Remember Veltex had only 4 trucks in Oct. The first Nov. Release did not say how many trucks Multimodal had, but the end of Nov. release says they have 46 in total, before adding 20 more.
So the year ended with 66 trucks, but with intentions of adding more immediately. Certainly we will hear news right away on the success or failure of such efforts.
Friedel intends to increase business by securing contracts face to face, and to service those contracts first with their own trucks, secondly with trucks hired via the multimodal affiliation.
So there you go, the only new piece of info I have to give you all is to check out B&W warehousing, as I believe that was the name of Friedel's company immediately prior to the transition to Multimodal then to Veltex Transportation. They were located right out at :
4219 Air Trans Rd
Memphis, TN 38118
I'm not sure if that is still the location but I believe it still is.
Touchdown Bucs!!!!!!!!!!!
Tampa 17
Philly 10
2:30 left in the 2nd
Update:
Tampa 10
Philly 10
8 minutes left in the 2nd.
decent game so far.
Tennessee feels the only way to get respect is to win it all in San Diego on January 26. The Titans struggled to put away Pittsburgh in the divisional round before Joe Nedney's 26-yard field goal in overtime sealed the deal. The Raiders, meanwhile, want to earn some respect of their own after soundly defeating the Jets, who some were crowning the New England Patriots of 2002. Things won't be easy for Steve McNair and company in the confines of Network Associates Coliseum, where a horde of boisterous and energized Raiders fans await.
If the Bucs want to get to the big show, they'll have to do something they haven't been able to do recently -- defeat the Eagles at Veterans Stadium. Tampa Bay was eliminated by Philadelphia in the first round of the playoffs the last two years. Donovan McNabb showed little rust in the Eagles' divisional playoff win over Atlanta, while the Bucs looked dominant against San Francisco. The Philadelphia defense, however, will certainly provide a stiffer test for Tampa Bay than the banged-up 49ers did, particularly at the raucous Vet.
No more Ro: Raiders TE Williams put on IR
NFL.com wire reports
ALAMEDA, Calif. (Jan. 18, 2003) -- The Oakland Raiders placed starting tight end Roland Williams on injured reserve, ending his hopes of returning Sunday for the AFC Championship Game.
The Raiders signed running back Madre Hill from the practice squad to take Williams' spot on the 53-man roster. By placing Williams on injured reserve, he is done for the season and would not be available for the Super Bowl if Oakland advances.
Williams has a torn medial collateral ligament in his left knee, along with a partially torn anterior cruciate ligament and some meniscus damage.
The 6-foot, 5-inch, 265-pound Williams also has turf toe on his left foot and torn ligaments in a toe on the same foot that will require surgery after the season.
He said this week he was working to convince the coaching staff he was healthy enough to play.
Williams participated in limited agility drills in practice, but no running. He underwent treatment and was listed as doubtful for the conference title game against the Tennessee Titans.
Williams was hurt on the Raiders' final drive midway through the fourth quarter of a 24-0 win over Kansas City on Dec. 28.
He has been a key blocker this season and has 27 catches for 213 yards and no touchdowns.
Williams has been wearing a protective brace and undergoing treatment up to three times a day. He has regained some mobility in his knee and is able to do limited strength work.
The knee might require offseason surgery.
Makes me want to order a 'brown cow'?
Raginbull continues to experience problems and ins over run with idiots. All legitimate investors are seeking asylum at different sources. The death of the bull is imminenet.
Ihub has experienced great success lately and has seen itself move to arguably the number one status among the messge boards.
Remarkable improvement in a few short months.
hmm, that doesn't do anything interesting
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