When I see someone crying, I always ask if it's because of their haircut.
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Do we still fry anyone?
Instead of this vermin vacationing here, while enjoying an occasional rectal pork-probe, they should be getting shot at like a homeless man sleeping on Ted Nugent's lawn.
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Have you seen this sequel to "White Chicks" yet?
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Matt, great movie! It's even funnier than "White Chicks".
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OK, then. Never mind...
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So, help me understand this.
You blush at the slightest hint of impropriety on this board, but when your baby says that he and his girlfriend want to co-habitate on the same mattress, just a few feet from your own bedroom, you do not make any of the following statements to him:
1. If you must "do it", please wait until me and your father are out of the house.
2. Avoid excessive banging of the headboard against the wall during intercourse. It will ruin the expensive, new wallpaper I put up after you moved out.
3. Do not discard any used contraceptives into the waste-basket next to your bed. This is not Motel 6.
4. Also, do not flush those used items away. They will clog my septic-tank.
5. Next visit, please bring your own sheets.
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No big deal. I would've just loved to hear that conversation, the first time he informed you about the sleeping arrangements.
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Is your bedroom on the same floor as their bedroom?
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When your son stays at your house with his girlfriend, do you let them sleep in the same room together?
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Uh, oh. We got trouble. Take a closer look at that fire photo:
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iHub Hair School
I hope everyone on this board has an airtight alibi for the time this fire started.
BTW, did this SUV go up in flames too?
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It would be the perfect ending to the saga.
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Dude,
Just pass this simple message on to Flecks:
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Although a "small box" may seem inconsequential to you, many men would agree with me when I say that they prefer a bikini-burger which does not resemble an old catcher's mitt.
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Did somebody say, "small box"? I'm becoming engorged.
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Co-inky-dink? Chu disappears and Troy suddenly returns.......things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
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Now that you mention ads, I keep getting this pop-up ad all afternoon:
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It looks like he fed his bride the first time he got married.
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Yeah, buddy. We know all about it.
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Why, it's THIS guy, Bob Zumbrunnen, Silicon Investor:
I finally got a side-view pic of him:
http://www.investorshub.com/boards/photos.asp?page=1
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Home Depot Matt
Welcome back. I see that several of the girls are absolutely moist now that you've returned. But keep in mind that you'll be responsible if any of them slide off their chairs and hurt themselves.
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Oh, and I bet there was a lot of "other way around".
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Gee, that's too bad. I, on the other hand, DO have a mean bone, although sometimes it gets in the way when I'm doing push-ups.
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Don't I get thanked for the beautiful "Free Fung" poster?
BTW, they're asking for you at the CMKX board.
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Matt, I don't know how you find the time to do all these things, after coming home from your night job.
Great new look, too!
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Yes, Churio is hung:
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Hey, Novo!
You know what? Today I found out that you could go to a store, buy food uncooked and go home and cook it yourself.
You should also take the plastic-covering off those individually-wrapped slices of cheese for an especially good taste.
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The list is endless. I just gave him my top suggestions.
I didn't say:
bearded clam
vertical bacon sandwich
bikini burger
Velcro-triangle
unshaven meat-curtains
or camel-toe
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Sure, it's safe to take a shower in Jail.
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Arctec, you can say ANYTHING, if you say it the right way.
Next time you feel the urge to use the "c" word, please use any of the following words instead and it'll be funny:
pickle parlor
minge
poonanny
mons veneris
schnizzle
jamtart
slush bucket
Magic Pink Place
vertical smile
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Arctec, congratulations. Your post was the first time the "c" word was used on this board. I'm sure the ladies are thrilled.
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Hair is OK, but a shaved private-part is the way to my heart.
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And would you please post some pics when you get back?
Thanks.
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Why are you looking at ME when you say that?
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If you imagined an engorged Phil in the shower, whipping-up some "baby-batter", you'd be serious as a heart-attack too.
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Never mind, then.
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FOR PHIL ONLY - DO NOT READ
A married-man only masturbates in the shower because his wife is home.
If she was away for A MONTH, you could sit on the couch, with your pants around your ankles and have a "flog-the-dolphin" marathon until you load-up a box of squishy-tissues.
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Not really doing a protest. It was just a excuse to do a pic and try to extract a cheap laugh out of the situation.
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You are correct, sir. And he is not liking it one bit.
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