When I see someone crying, I always ask if it's because of their haircut.
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What's better than the pic? An actual live grundle.
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WOW! The one night I got a little crazy and started a movie after 8:30, you decide to post about dick pics!
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What's the difference between Herschel Walker and a high-chair?
A high-chair supports children.
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Those balls can't compete with my favorite late-night snack while watching the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Xmas Special:
A 3-pound stick of butter coated with Crisco, then deep-fried, dipped in a mixture of olive oil and Ranch dressing, and covered in butterscotch frosting.
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I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
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I wouldn't worry about iHubbers finding misspellings. Many are eating fried mayonnaise balls and drinking bacon-grease out of an old coffee can.
But capitalization is very important.
Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
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How about if she lands her own show on FOX, called Lake's Takes?
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Think you got problems? I accidently watched a movie on the Hallmark channel and before it was over, my virginity had grown back.
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Sorry I didn't reply to your post sooner. I took melatonin and Benadryl at the same time, and teleported 12 hours into the future.
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I forgot to charge my watch last night. Had to pay for things using my phone today, like some kind of caveman.
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I'd be happy if the universal-remote I bought, changed the channels on my TV and not shut off my neighbor's home-dialysis machine.
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Yes, I would rather wear a pork-chop jockstrap in a lion's den than get involved with PlusOne again.
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With the default of PlusOne, I'm going to miss your hourly, multi-color CLICK-CLICK-CLICK pleadings for those worthless 'coins' this holiday season.
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Yoga class? I'm so glad television redefined the word "marathon" to mean the exact opposite of physical exercise.
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I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
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As a matter of fact, tonight I made the PlusOne Novena at Our Lady of Nocturnal Emissions.
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Pillow Guy runs for Chairman of RNC:
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/mike-lindell-floats-potential-bid-for-rnc-chair
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Sorry I didn't make it to your Thanksgiving dinner, but I wasn't invited.
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Yes. Sometimes, my words may seem somewhat harsh. My words can be flowery at times, and I’ve always had a problem with hyperbole. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t speak from the heart and more importantly, speak in understandable English, when I say, I don't make aimless conversation.
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What did you expect when Clem left? A big, wet kiss, or a pat on your widdle heinie?
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Right now, Sir Clem is doing swan dives, like Scrooge McDuck, into his piles of gold.
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Happy Thanksgiving! I spent a great day at the PlusOne Farewell Thanksgiving Parade:
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I miss those Saturday mornings when the hardest decision was which cereal to eat and what cartoon to watch.
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Correct, Kitt. Most people don't realize this... but you can eat organic, gluten-free foods without telling everyone about it.
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WOW! What a coinkydink! I believe I found your long-lost car record-player after all these years. No thanks necessary:
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Yes, those were some fun facts, indeed. But, here's a holiday-related fact for your enjoyment:
If the Native Americans had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey, we'd all be having a piece of ass for Thanksgiving.
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Jeez, I guess you didn't get the joke.
I was simply making a harmless, carnal innuendo about a floppy 8-inch membrum-virilis, and your response created a long thread about vinyl records and big bands.
I fear I'm becoming too subtle as I get older.
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Correct, sir. It's obvious why the 8-inch hard ones were all the rage over the 8-inch floppies.
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Once Meatloaf stops selling those Taylor Swift tickets out of the IHUB coffee-break room, these breakdowns won't happen anymore.
Last week, he sold me tickets for the Rolling Stones Steel Prostate Tour.
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Although wearing onions on your belt was weird, what I wore on my belt as a kid, was even weirder.
As a kid, I must've bought a dozen Lucky Rabbit's Foot key-chains for 10¢ each. And, I never realized they were actual severed rabbit's feet until I accidentally scratched myself with the toes.
I thought they were a bit of shag carpet on a chain.
Some genius figured out how to monetize useless rabbit's feet, instead of throwing them away. Like the guy in Buffalo who figured out to turn useless chicken wings into an industry.
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They say a picture is worth a thousand words:
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Most of the time, Meatloaf's mobile phone is repeatedly losing the phone connection - because he's usually under the arches at the drive-thru.
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You went to town twice to to 'drop off an axle'?
Is to 'drop off an axle' a country-style way of saying that you visited Miss Kitty's Palais de Poonanny for an extended session of hardcore bologna pillorying?
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So, if someone has one year to live, they should move to your town - because every day is like a freakin' eternity.
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Yes, the party-line was the worst idea since the invention of the Speedo.
And, since we're going down Memory Lane, I found this old ad from the now defunct IHUB store:
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What about calling a girl for a date and one of her parents answers? Then, they'd pummel you with trick questions before letting her talk to you.
Here in Manhattan, when a cell-phone goes off in public, you see 30 people patting themselves down like they've burst into flames.
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Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to the wall. When it rang, I'd pick it up without knowing who was calling. I'm amazed I'm still alive.
Here's what the new IHUB looks like on my phone:
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How about trading those Moons, for what I call, my Mother’s Day Gift Package: Ten scratch-offs, a pint of Hiram Walker and a carton of Luckies?
BTW, Thanksgiving and Xmas should be 6 months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.
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