Register for free to join our community of investors and share your ideas. You will also get access to streaming quotes, interactive charts, trades, portfolio, live options flow and more tools.
Register for free to join our community of investors and share your ideas. You will also get access to streaming quotes, interactive charts, trades, portfolio, live options flow and more tools.
DTC Plays to Captive Audience: 'Stay'
THURSDAY , JANUARY 30, 2003 02:27 AM
Jan 30, 2003 (financialwire.net via COMTEX) -- (FinancialWire) According to Dow Jones (NYSE: DJ) reporter Carol Remond, nine companies have officially noticed the Depository Transfer Corporation that they want to "exit." Those are AmeriDream Entertainment Inc. (OTCBB: AMDR); Composite Holdings Inc. (OTCBB: COHIA); Critical Home Care Inc. (OTCBB: CCLH); Intergold Corp. (OTCBB: IGCO); IT IS Holdings Inc. (OTCBB: ITHH); Nutek Inc. (OTCBB: NUTK); Nutra Pharma Corp. (OTCBB: NPHC); Reed Holdings Corp. (OTCBB: RDHC) and Technology Logistic Systems Inc.( OTCBB: TLOS).
Late last year, GeneMax Corp. (OTCBB: GMXX); Ten Stix Inc. (OTCBB: TNTI); Hadro Resources Inc. (OTCBB: HDRS); BlueBook International Holding Co. (OTCBB: BBIC); MidasTrade.com (OTCBB: MIDS); MSM Jewelry Corp. (OTCBB: MSMJ) and Make Your Move Inc. (OTCBB: MKMV) had exited, but now the DTC has taken the position that only the shareholders of companies can opt out.
Remond said the DTC expects a legal challenge, but does not intend to change its position.
It's the DRS of the DTC, Not The Exit of the DTC
THURSDAY , JANUARY 30, 2003 02:24 AM
Jan 30, 2003 (financialwire.net via COMTEX) -- (FinancialWire) A schism has emerged among the small cap forces fighting naked short selling, as Matthew Marcus, principal in Integrity Securities, which represents FreeStar (OTCBB: FSTI) and Sionix (OTCBB: SINX), as well as Group Management (OTCBB: GMPT), is electing to utilize a little known mechanism within the Depository Trust Corporation (DTCC) providing for a Direct Registration System (DRS) rather than exit the DTC, as proposed by Investor Communications International on behalf of its clients and holdings, and which has formed the National Association Against Naked Short Selling.
GeneMax (OTCBB: GMXX), Ten Stix Inc. (OTCBB: TNTI), BlueBook International Holding Co. (OTCBB: BBIC), MidasTrade.com (OTCBB: MIDS), MSM Jewelry Corp. (OTCBB: MSMJ) and Make Your Move Inc. (OTCBB: MKMV) have taken ICI's advice and exited the DTC, and companies that have said that they are or are considering exiting DTC include Reeds Holdings Corp. (OTCBB: RDHC). Nutra Pharma Corp. (OTCBB: NPHC), Critical Home Care Inc. (OTCBB: CCLH), Hadro Resources Inc. (OTCBB: HDRS), Jag Media Holdings Inc. (OTCBB: JGMHA), InternationalBioChemical Industries Inc. (OTCBB: IBCL), SunComm Technologies Inc. (OTCBB: STEH), Bentley Communications Corp. (OTCBB: BTLY), Nutek Inc. (OTCBB: NUTK), ITIS Holding (OTCBB: ITHH), Environmental Products & Technologies (OTC: EPTC) and Edgetech Services (OTCBB: EDGH).
According to Marcus, "We have no relationship with, and have not contacted ICI." However, while he says his group supports any efforts to curb the illegal practice of naked short selling, he does not believe "ICI has done enough to build a relationship with DTCC and in exploring alternatives to going cert issue only such as the Direct Registration System, described at http://dtcservices.dtcc.com/custody/drshome.htm.
Marcus notes that the DRS system is SEC approved and will serve to accomplish strategic goals "without going back to the stone age of paper certs."
Marcus said that the system can incorporate a "Profile Surety Program" that offers the electronic equivalent of a medallion guarantee, providing comparable security to the transfer agent and the issuer that they previously had received through the signature guarantee on the paper transaction advice.
DRS provides investors with an alternate approach to holding their securities in certificate or "street" form. Under DRS, investors can elect to have their securities registered directly on the issuer's records in book-entry form. An investor electing to hold a security in a DRS book-entry position will receive a statement from the issuer or its transfer agent evidencing ownership of the security. The investor can subsequently transfer electronically the DRS book-entry position to a bank or broker.
This is the system that Group Management is undertaking not only to combat short selling but also to hold off a take-over attempt by debenture holders.
Marcus also said that his release that contained the names of some 5,000 companies did not have tickers coded, and has issued a press release threatening litigation against Accident Prevention Plus, Inc. (OTCBB: ACPL) which apparently issued a press release about Integrity Securities as a result of either a miscommunication or a misreading of the firm's proposals for small companies.
don't look to me for an arguement on that one, except that I am not fond of BMW either.
Should have rolled him and took the files. Might have got some hot tips. ha ha ha
oh oh!
Potvin will miss at least six weeks
El Segundo, CA (Sports Network) - Los Angeles Kings goaltender Felix Potvin is expected to miss the next 6-8 weeks with a sprained medial collateral ligament in his right knee, the team announced on Thursday.
Potvin suffered the injury during the first period of Tuesday's 3-1 loss to the San Jose Sharks and underwent an MRI exam Wednesday that revealed the sprain. Potvin was subsequently placed on the injured reserve list and the Kings recalled goaltender Cristobal Huet to take his spot on the active roster.
In 42 games with the Kings this season, Potvin has a 17-20-3 record with a 2.66 goals-against-average, an .894 save percentage and three shutouts. He set a franchise record by playing in 71 games last season for LA, and had a career-best 2.31 goals-against average with a career high-tying six shutouts while becoming just the third netminder in Kings history to collect 30 wins in a season (31-27-8).
A native of Anjou, Quebec, Potvin owns a career 254-252-79 record, a 2.78 goals-against-average and 28 shutouts.
What a Woman Says, and a Man Hears...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What a woman says:
"This place is a mess!
C'mon, you and I need to clean,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear
if we don't do laundry right now!"
What a man hears:
"blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW"
Dealing with Angry Wife
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's butt and say, 'Lets do it!'
....and she's always sound asleep.
It only said THRIFTY because that's where he rented it from while his BMW was in the shop, again. ha ha ha.
Why Men Can't Win
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.
Blonde Golfers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two blondes were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each hit their ball anyway. When they walked to the green, they discovered one about three feet from the cup, while the other somehow had gone directly in.
They tried to figure out which ball belonged to who, since they were both using Titleist number threes. Unable to decide, they returned to the Club House and asked the golf pro for a ruling. After hearing their story and congratulating them both on their superb shots under such adverse conditions he asked, "OK, so who was playing the yellow ball ?"
Aerobics Instructor Humor
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the difference between an aerobics instructor and a well mannered professional torturer?
A. The torturer would apologize first.
Q. Why did the aerobics instructor cross the road?
A. Someone on the other side could still walk.
Q. What do aerobics instructors and people who make bacon have in common?
A. They both tear hams into shreds.
Q. How many aerobics instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Four!...Three!...Two!...One!
Q. An ethical lawyer, an honest politician, and a merciful aerobics instructor all fall out of an airplane. Which one hits the ground first?
A. It doesn't matter - none of them exist.
Q. What do you call an aerobics instructor who doesn't cause pain and agony?
A. Unemployed.
Q. What's the difference between an aerobics instructor and a dentist?
A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.
Golf Heart Attack
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until, at 8 p.m., the husband finally pulls into the driveway.
"What happened?" says the wife. "You should have been home hours ago!"
"Harry had a heart attack at the third hole," replied the husband.
"Oh, that's terrible," says the wife.
"I know," the husband answers. "All day long it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry..."
Fishing Lure
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes.
Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his heels.
After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him.
"Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped.
With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.
"Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"
"Yes, sir," replied the young guy. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one."
Golf Genie
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A golfer, encountering a genie, was granted one wish. The man thought a while and said, "Well, I've always been embarrassed by being rather small, if you know what I mean; could you make me larger?" "Done," said the genie and disappeared.
Continuing his game, the man noticed an immediate change in his "size." Within several holes, it was down to his knee, and by the eighteenth, it had crept into his sock. After holing his final putt, the man hurriedly returned to where he'd met the genie.
"Problem?" inquired the genie. "Yes," the man responded, "Do you think I could trouble you for one more wish?" "And what might that be?" asked the genie.
"Could you make my legs longer?"
Funny Sports Quotes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sports Quotes
1992 Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
1987 Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
1996 Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
1981 Tommy Lasorda , Dodger manager, asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back."
1966 Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries this season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?"
1981 Mike McCormack , coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis: "I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time."
1991 Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
1986 Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."
1976 Greg Buttle, New York Jet linebacker, explaining his contractual obligations: "They pay me to practice. Sundays I play for free."
1996 Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."
1981 Dorothy Shula , on the career dedication of her husband, the Miami Dolphins' coach: "I'm fairly confident that if I died tomorrow, Don would find a way to preserve me until the season was over and he had time for a nice funeral."
1976 Mike Newlin, Houston Rocket guard, after a game his team lost to the New York Nets: "We were the quintessence of athletic atrocity."
1966 Jim Camp, George Washington football coach, on why he doesn't use a lonely end: "We train by a parkway, which runs beside a river. If we had a lonely end, he either would be hit by a car or drown."
1976 Hugh Campbell, football coach at Whitworth College in Spokane, Wash., after his team had defeated Whitman 70-30: "It wasn't as easy as you think. It's hard to stay awake that long."
1986 Jeff Kemp, 49ers quarterback, when asked about his rapport with wide receiver Jerry Rice: "Rapport? You mean like, 'You run as fast as you can, and I'll throw it as far as I can'?"
1966 Tom Nissalke, New coach of the NBA's Houston Rockets, when asked, during a question-and-answer session with a group of fans, how he pronounced his name: "Tom."
1991 Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
1976 Abe Lemons, University of Texas basketball coach, when asked if he felt his team should be ranked in the Top Twenty this season: "You mean in the state?"
Missed!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor was not very good at it, and uttered a loud "F***, missed!" each time he missed. The priest tolerated him for a few minutes and couldn't take it anymore.
"Do not swear thus, my friend, or God will punish you".
It didn't make a difference, the sailor continued unabated. One after another, the sailor played badly, and followed up with "F***, missed!!". Again, the priest said "Do not utter such profanities, or God will show you a sign".
It didn't help, and the next stroke missed was followed by a loud "F***, missed!!". A bolt of lightning dropped out of the clouds and struck the priest dead.
A voice was heard in the clouds "F***, missed!!".
20 Laws of Golf
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
These laws were given to me by an old friend who carried has them around in his golf bag for, judging by the age of the paper (and his golf bag), decades. True golfers should understand the words layed out here.
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summmer and, eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.
LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.
LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.
LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instuctor.
LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.
LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.
LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.
LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works against you?
LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination.
LAW 13: All 3-woods are domon-possessed.
LAW 14: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (see Law three)
LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
LAW 16: "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt." Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy one, sucker."
LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset of the same day.
Par 4?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sally and Eric are in their hotel room on their wedding night, preparing to consummate their marriage. Sally says, "I have one thing to tell you before we get in bed. I've had sex with one other man before I met you."
Eric thinks a minute and says, "That's no big deal. Who was it?" Sally replies, "The famous golfer, Jack Nicklaus."
They jump into bed and have a good session. Afterwards, Eric gets out of bed and begins to put on his underwear. "What are you doing?" asks Sally. "I thought I'd get dressed and fix some coffee."
Sally says, "Jack wouldn't have done that." "No?" says Eric, "What would Jack have done?" "He'd have climbed back in bed with me and done it again." "All right!" says Eric, "Let's go."
They have another pretty good session, a little longer this time. Wearily, Eric gets to his feet and begins to put on his underwear. "What are you doing?" asks Sally. "I thought I'd dress and get some coffee."
Sally says, "Jack wouldn't have done that." "No?" says Eric, "What would Jack have done?" "He'd have climbed back in bed with me and done it again."
Eric climbs back into bed, and this time a virtual marathon takes place. Afterward, he slinks out of bed, braces himself against the bedpost, and tries to get a leg in his underwear. "What are you doing?" asks Sally. "Going for a cuppa."
Sally says, "Jack wouldn't have done that." "No?" says Eric, "What would Jack have done now?" "He'd have climbed back in bed with me and done it again."
Eric plods to the nightstand and picks up the phone.
"Who are you calling?" Sally asks.
"Jack Nicklaus. I want to find out what par is on this freaking hole!"
Husband's Club
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman is learning how to golf. She has been teaching herself to play for more than three months and she is really bad. She decides to consult a golf pro.
When she sees the golf pro, she explains how bad she is and he tells her to go ahead and hit the ball. She does. The ball goes about 50 yards into the brush slicing to the right. The golf pro says to the woman, "I can see that you have a lot of problems. Your stance is bad, your head is all over the place, and the worst thing is that grip."
When she asks what can be done to fix the situation, he suggests, "Grab the club gently, as if you were grabbing your husband's "club". When the feeling is right, go ahead and swing." She does just that and the ball goes off the tee perfectly straight for about 275 yards.
The golf pro says to the woman, "That is unbelievable, I didn't think you would do that well. But now on to the next problem. How do we get that golf club out of your mouth?"
11th at August
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man, who was an average golfer, was on the 11th tee at Augusta. He promptly shanks a shot into the trees. Upon discovering his ball, he found it to be next to a witch.
The witch was stirring a pot of golfer's brew. The gentleman asked the witch what the brew was for. The witch responded that the brew would do two things; first he would become the best golfer in the world and secondly his sex life would go to hell. And like most golfers I know, he choose the brew and better golf.
A year goes by and the man has won every major championship and is world renowned for his golf game. But, upon arriving at the 11th tee at Augusta, he hits a shot in the same woods where he reunits with the witch.
The witch remembers him and asks, "How's your golf game?" He responds, "Fantastic!" Then she says, "How's your sex life?" He responds, "Not bad..."
The witch says "Not Bad? What do you mean not bad??" The man says "Twice last year." The witch says "Most people think twice in a year is terrible."
The man answers "Well it's not bad for a priest in a small parrish."
Extreme Games
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther.
He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going too fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down.
Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap.
The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, "...and you're not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10-speed bike honking to pass."
Funeral Procession
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men are playing golf one day. As they are about to start one of the holes, a funeral procession goes by on the road beside the course. One of the golfers, Harry, takes off his cap and stands with his cap to his chest, and waits for the entire procession to go by. He then puts his cap back on and proceeds to tee off.
"Gee Harry, that was a very nice gesture on your part. It was very thoughtful and respectful of you to do that," his friend says.
"Well," Harry replies, "I was married to her for 30 years, it was the least I could do."
Sunday Golf
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right.
The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing."
God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him?!"
God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"
Forgive Me, Father
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies that he used the "F-word" over the weekend. The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language.
The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-word". The priest sighs and tells him to continue. Well father I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church. The priest says, "And you got upset over that and swore?" The man replied, "No, that wasn't why I swore. On the first tee I duck-hooked my drive well left into the trees." The priest said, "And that's when you swore."
The man replied, a little testily because of the constant interruptions, "No, it wasn't. When I walked up the fairway, I noticed my ball got a lucky bounce and I had a clear shot to the green. However, before I could hit the ball, a squirrel ran by and grabbed my ball and scurried up a tree." The priest asked, "Is that when you said the 'F-word'?"
The man replied, "No, because an eagle then flew by and caught the squirrel in its sharp talons and flew away."
The priest let out a breath and queried, "Is that when you swore?"
The man replied, "No, because the eagle flew over the green and the dying squirrel let go of my golf ball and it landed within 5 inches of the hole."
The priest screamed, "Don't tell me you missed the f***ing putt!!!"
What a shot!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped it up onto the green.
The third guy gets up and sort of randomly whacks the ball. It heads out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounces off a truck and hits a nearby tree. From there, it bounces onto the roof of a nearby shack and rolls down into the gutter, down the downspout, out onto the fairway and right toward the aforementioned pond.
On the way to the pond, it hits a little stone and bounces out over the water and onto a lily pad where it rested quietly. Suddenly, a very large bullfrog jumped up on the lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth.
Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball which bounced right into the hole for a beautiful hole in one.
Moses then turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad."
Rules for Bedroom Golf
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play
when this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request. (Course time is Four to Five Hours)
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
flick the swith on the chair, get the syringe, where's the executioner today?
I think that ultimatums are under used by most of us. You better agree or else I'm not going to post anymore.
Is packer still a member? whats the delay in hitting the buttom with him?????!!!?!??
Ah, 35 hours left in the MDC. Nice change. Will it drop to minutes automatically when it gets under an hour or two? or is that something you have to do manually at the time?
It could be a jailhouse work release program for the inmates!
agreed.
Yes, I do not think it is a very catchy or appealing logo. Not exactly something that would establish brand recognition of any kind.
Perhaps you should have a contest for that too, ha ha ha.
Great board cjam. I'll check out the link are read up on your strategy.
I didn't realize there was a logo?
2003 AFC Pro Bowl Cheerleaders
http://probowl.superbowl.com/probowl/2003/cheerleaders_afc.html
Football in paradise
It's a team achievement to play in the Super Bowl. It's a personal honor to play in the NFL's All-Star Game. On Sunday, Feb. 2, 2003 (5:30 p.m. ET, ABC), the best players at their positions from the AFC will face their counterparts from the NFC in the Pro Bowl. The game's setting is as spectacular as the talent of its rosters. Set in Honolulu's 50,000-seat Aloha Stadium on the Hawaiian Island of Oahu, the NFL Pro Bowl offers picture-perfect playing conditions against a backdrop of blue skies, clear water, and swaying palm trees.
49ers get permission to talk to Kiffin
NFL.com wire reports
SAN FRANCISCO (Jan. 28, 2003) -- The San Francisco 49ers got permission to speak to Super Bowl-winning defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin about their head coaching job and interviewed Jets assistant Ted Cottrell.
Kiffin built the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' defense into the No. 1 unit in the NFL, one that dominated the Oakland Raiders' top-rated offense in Sunday's 48-21 victory.
San Francisco general manager Terry Donahue plans to talk to Kiffin late this week. Whether they will meet in person depends on the Bucs' busy post-Super Bowl schedule.
The 62-year-old Kiffin has expressed interest in becoming an NFL head coach, as long as it's the right situation. His deal with the Buccaneers runs through 2004.
San Francisco fired Steve Mariucci on Jan. 15, three days after the 49ers lost to Tampa Bay in the second round of the NFC playoffs.
Cottrell, New York's defensive coordinator, joins a growing list of candidates with the 49ers. Donahue already interviewed Philadelphia offensive coordinator Brad Childress and defensive coordinator Jim Johnson, along with New England defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel and 49ers defensive coordinator Jim Mora, the son of the former Indianapolis and New Orleans coach.
Johnson removed his name from the running last week.
Owner John York repeatedly has said there is no timetable for hiring a coach. He will choose from a list of finalists compiled by Donahue.
What to expect in 2003
By Gil Brandt
Special to NFL.com
(Editor's note: The 2002 season is over, but now's the time to look at what worked in 2002, and what fans might see in 2003.)
The teams
Over the last four years, there have been four different Super Bowl winners, all of them first-timers: St. Louis, Baltimore, New England and Tampa Bay. This tells me that there is a very good chance we will have a new winner next season, and it could possibly be a team that has not won before.
So let's start thinking about some teams that fit this category. Atlanta, Cleveland, Indianapolis, New Orleans, Philadelphia and Tennessee have yet to win a Super Bowl, and should have good teams next year capable of going to Super Bowl XXXVIII. Of these six teams, Atlanta and Indianapolis are in the best shape cap-wise for the upcoming season (the cap is projected to be around $75 million).
We also had five new teams in the playoffs this year that were not there in 2001: Atlanta, Cleveland, Indianapolis, Tennessee and the New York Giants. I think we again could have five new teams in 2003, and here are some candidates: Buffalo, Miami, Minnesota, San Diego and Seattle. Regarding the Vikings, they have Michael Bennett , Randy Moss and Bryant McKinnie -- they have a pretty good offense. And they're $30 million under the cap.
I think Tampa Bay will make the playoffs again next year, but we have to remember a few things. For example, they were the third-oldest team in the league this past season, and there were only 17 instances when a regular starter didn't start (sixth-fewest in the league).
Super Bowl MVP Dexter Jackson is a free agent following a solid year.
The Bucs will also have four starters -- three of them on defense -- who will become free agents for this coming season. Two of them are starting linebackers -- Shelton Quarles and Al Singleton -- and the other is Super Bowl MVP safety Dexter Jackson. In addition, quarterbacks Shaun King and Rob Johnson are eligible for free agency. At this time, the Bucs are just a little over next year's projected cap figure at $76,896,000, so to keep these guys they'll have to do some maneuvering. Now the Bucs did a great job of replenishing their team with free agents this offseason, and it was because they had cap money available, just like some of the above-mentioned teams do.
The playing field
On offense, look for teams to pass even more than they did in 2002. Remember, none of the regular season's top eight rushers in the AFC went on to the postseason. You have to go all the way down to Eddie George to find a playoff team that had a top rusher in the AFC.
Teams will spread the field even more and come out with more empty backfields or shift out of formations with the backs going from being behind the center to being spread out wide. If you look at how running backs like Charlie Garner and Amos Zereoue were used, you'll understand this. Also look to see more motion from teams to keep defenses from zone-blitzing as much.
Look for receivers to run more slant routes against man coverage, like Keyshawn Johnson does, and more seam routes against the zone blitz.
Defensively, teams will work in the offseason to come up with a bigger package against spread offenses. A lot of defensive coordinators didn't think that the spread was going to be as prevalent as it was this year, so no one developed a complete package like they will. Surely, defensive coordinators will be prepared. They'll also work to have better adjustments against all of the motion offenses.
Now remember, the West Coast offense is very good and causes a lot of problems for the defense. For a long time, it was a stair-step situation where offenses got ahead and defenses had to catch up. I'm not sure with the West Coast system that defenses will ever catch up. They just seem to come up with more and more innovative things.
I don't think we'll see an increase in the amount of teams playing a 3-4 style of defense. Last year, Atlanta was one team that successfully made the switch. We might, but I don't think it will be a pronounced trend. But if a team has the right players, it can pull it off.
Everyone is trying to match up player versus player now. During the Super Bowl, the Raiders had linebacker Travian Smith on Bucs receiver Joe Jurevicius , and that just wasn't a match. Also during the Super Bowl, we saw Raiders receiver Jerry Porter playing wide when he spent most of the season in the slot. The way Tampa Bay covers, when it put Dwight Smith in the game as its third corner, Ronde Barber became the guy covering the slot receiver, which is why Porter was held down some. I think coordinators will work harder on the mismatches.
I think we're also going to see more people on defense work very hard at stripping the ball away from receivers after the catch. And conversely, I think you'll see offensive coordinators work a lot harder at preventing this from happening. It's not the concept of the defense, but another tool they can use to their advantage.
The games
If you think 2002 was an exciting year with a record number of overtime games, plenty of teams in contention for precious playoff spots, and close games week in and week out, 2003 will even be better. There are so many new teams emerging and so many young players coming to the forefront. It's like meeting a sales quota as a salesperson; if you meet a goal, it will be set higher the next year, and if you reach that it will be set even higher, and so on. The bar keeps getting set higher because there are more kick returns and interceptions for touchdowns, more passes completed, more 300-yard games and such. I guess some place along the way this stuff is going to stop.
Extra points
On the Thursday before the Super Bowl, a non-player played the role of Rich Gannon in a Bucs practice. Know who it was? Who else but Jon Gruden, who used to coach Gannon and played quarterback at the University of Dayton. He came out and instituted fake pumps and other quarterback tricks to throw the defense off balance. I thought that was pretty good. ... The winning share for each Buccaneer was $63,000. Warren Sapp flew up to Los Angeles to be a guest on the debut show of Jimmy Kimmel Live and was paid $250,000. He worked all week in preparation for the Super Bowl, earned his share of the winnings, then got paid more than four times that amount to be on television for less than an hour. ... Starting soon, NFL.com will be the home of lots of analysis for the 2003 NFL Draft. Want a taste? Here are four players who looked pretty good in bowl games and really increased their draft "worth": Kevin Curtis, WR, Utah State; Bobby Wade, WR, Arizona; Bennie Joppru, TE, Michigan; and Kevin Williams, DL, Oklahoma State.
Seven ways to victory
By Pat Kirwan
Special to SuperBowl.com
(Jan. 27, 2003) -- A day after the big game, here are the seven things Tampa Bay did to pull off a successful Super Bowl XXXVII victory.
1. Bucs broke down the blockers
Tampa Bay defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin and his coaches broke down Oakland's blocking schemes. The Bucs built a pressure scheme where Barry Sims had little or no help with Simeon Rice. Ronde Barber lined up as the outside linebacker in the nickel defense and blitzed the guard-tackle gap enough to occupy the running back or guard, and prevent help for Sims when he could have used it. One of Rice's sacks was caused by Sims stepping down inside because he thought Barber was coming -- and when he didn't blitz, it was too late to get back outside to Rice.
2. Eliminating Gannon's guys
The Bucs' defense took the Raiders' primary receiver away from Rich Gannon most of the time and made him hold the ball. Gannon is a rhythm passer, and the Bucs were not going to let him take a three-step drop and release the ball. Need proof? Through the first three quarters, Jerry Rice and Tim Brown combined for two receptions and 15 yards. Whenever Jerry Porter was in the slot position during the first quarter, he was doubled off with Barber and a safety -- Tampa was not going to let him run a deep route. Last week, the Bucs got Donovan McNabb to hold the ball -- and they did it again this week. Gannon likes to pump-fake a receiver to get the secondary to move out of their zones, but the Bucs' defensive backs held their ground because they believed the pump fake was just that -- a fake.
3. Field position
Oakland couldn't take advantage of early field position. The Raiders had three half-field or better situations in the first five drives of the game and came away with only three points. That came back to haunt them -- the third drive started on the 49-yard line. After two Zack Crockett runs and an incomplete pass, the Raiders punted. Two drives later, punt returner Darrien Gordon set the offense up at midfield again and the three-play drive ended with an interception. With a kicker like Sebastian Janikowski, the Raiders had to come out of the first quarter with no fewer than nine points. That didn't happen.
4. Quality Buccaneer time
Tampa Bay's long offensive drives just before and just after halftime did a lot of damage to the Raiders' defense. With under four minutes left in the first half, Tampa went on a 10-play drive -- which was really 12 plays with two penalties -- that ended up in a touchdown. Oakland couldn't stop Michael Pittman during the drive and it damaged the Silver & Black psychologically.
The first Bucs' drive of the third quarter was worse for Bill Callahan's team. When I was at Tampa Bay's preseason camp, Jon Gruden practiced the first drive of the third quarter every practice by stopping practice for 15 minutes to create a "halftime" atmosphere for his team. Then the coaches would come into the tent where the players were relaxing, announce the kickoff team was up, have a kickoff and then try to orchestrate a successful drive. I thought it was a great way to coach a team about the third quarter. In the Super Bowl, it was just the way they practiced it all summer: Fourteen plays, 89 yards, and a touchdown -- and in a little under eight minutes.
Rich Gannon had a tough time getting into a rhythm, thanks to the Bucs' defense.
5. Tackle, tackle, tackle
Simply stated, the Bucs didn't miss any tackles and the Raiders did. Mike Alstott wore down the linebackers with his inside running, then caught a pass in the flat late in the second quarter. The Raiders dripped off him and Alstott got down to the 5-yard line to set up Keenan McCardell's first touchdown pass. McCardell scored his second touchdown when a Oakland defender missed another tackle on the 8-yard touchdown pass. It happened all day.
6. Keyshawn the blocker!
Jon Gruden decided that the toss play would be effective against the Raiders. The big inside defensive tackles would have to run to the ball, and when it came time to rush the passer, they would be fatigued. To make the eight toss plays work, Gruden put Keyshawn Johnson in a tight-end alignment and had him block the defensive end! And guess what? Key did a great job of blocking the big defenders and set up the corner for Pittman.
7. Twenty-one defensive points don't hurt, either
Probably the most critical component of the lopsided victory was the three interceptions for scores. But everyone knew that already, so I left it down here at the bottom of my list.