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Do they also make Boeing plane side doors!?
My cyber truck finally came from Temu. pic.twitter.com/GLsV1CpQuA
— Booker (@RealBookerScott) May 27, 2024
Rookie mistake!
My wife was helping me put up some fence rails that had fallen. I gave her the hammer. I held the nail and said, "When I nod my head, hit it." I don't remember anything after that.
— Old Mechanic 🩸🇺🇸 (@OldMechanic2) May 25, 2024
Momma knows best!
A daughter calls her mother as says….
"I'm divorcing Steve. All he wants is sex, sex and more sex.
My privates are now the size of a 50 cent piece, when it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece."
Her mother says:
"You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman!
You live in an 8-bedroom mansion,
You drive a $250,000 Ferrari,
You get $2,000 a week allowance,
You take 6 vacations a year!
...and,
You want to throw all that away over 45 cents?"
Interesting. It's not you. I can no long view it either. Consider yourself blessed! LOL!
yep-- got bumped off-(removed)- not sure what happened.
Geez ... maybe I'll lucky I can't view the page!!
When I click the link I get this:
Hmm...this page doesn’t exist. Try searching for something else.
Egads! Imagine her couch and chairs! Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaalph!
if you click on the pic-the entire thing is visible
Zoinks! That's going to be hard to unsee!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣 guid yin pic.twitter.com/8AqgF7mynK
— 𝕵𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖘 🖕 (@Mfkn_jds) May 20, 2024
me too- don't need it any longer
The man is a genius!! pic.twitter.com/AuILq1Bz4p
— Templar⚔️ (@aTeXan575) May 17, 2024
loved it...laughed out loud
A woman walked into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she’d ever seen.
The cowboy said, "Well, howdy ma'am,
May I ask what brought you here today?
She smiled and said, “Business.
I’m actually on my way to the annual nymphomaniacs of America convention
in Arizona but my car overheated as I was driving past.
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business at this convention?”
“Speaker,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
Then she said, “Well, Is it true what they say about men with big feet?”
The cowboy grinned and said, “Sure is, little lady! Why don’t you come home with me tonight and I can prove it to you, then I'll help you get your car fixed in the morning.
The woman was kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place, so she took him up on his offer and went home with him.
The next morning she handed him $200 dollars.
Blushing, he said, “Well, thank ya' ma’am! I’m really flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me for my services before.”
“Don’t be flattered,” the woman replied.
“Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”
damn funny:
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/2O5VClloGH
— LAnDo NIFFIRG™️🇨🇦 (@llandoniffirg) May 15, 2024
🕕 Gooood Morning 🤙 SA 🌹☕🥞💞 pic.twitter.com/YXOHooopoO
— John Haigh (@good_heavens00) May 15, 2024
An old man was stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he came upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.
He proceeded to walk into the water and subsequently bumped into the preacher.
The preacher turned around and was almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asked the drunk,
“Are you ready to find Jesus?”
The drunk shouted, “Yes, I am!”
So the preacher grabbed him and dunked him in the water.
He pulled him up and asked the drunk, “Brother, have you found Jesus?”
The drunk replied, “No, I haven't found Jesus.”
The preacher, shocked by the answer, dunked him Into the water again for a little longer.
He pulled him out of the water and asked again, “Have you found Jesus my brother?”
The drunk again answered, “No, I haven't found Jesus.”
By this time the preacher was at his wits end and dunked the drunk in the water again
but this time held him down for about 30 seconds and when he began kicking his arms and legs he pulled him up.
The preacher again asked the drunk, “For the love of God son, have you found Jesus?”
The drunk wiped his eyes and caught his breath and said to the preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”
LOL- must not have been married for a LONG TIME!
When you wish you kept your mouth SHUT! Completely shut!! 😬 😂 pic.twitter.com/wvqi1r0Wag
— Templar⚔️ (@aTeXan575) May 14, 2024
An honest answer 😬😂🫶 pic.twitter.com/bPKhybvl4U
— Templar⚔️ (@aTeXan575) May 12, 2024
🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵 pic.twitter.com/wpnBaaYscC
— Mrs. S. (@hshLauraJ) May 13, 2024
An Indian rode his horse to a Starbucks in Arizona with a shotgun in one hand and pulling a male buffalo with a rope.
He said to the barista "Want coffee."
The baristas said, "Sure Chief, coming right up."
He got the Indian a tall mug of coffee.....
The Indian drank the coffee down in one gulp, turned and blasted the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just rode away.
The next morning the Indian returned. He had his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other.
He walked up to the counter and said to the barista "Want coffee."
The barista said, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.
What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiled and said, "Training for position in United States Congress.
Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.”
That's going out!
Here is a wonderful little story
A young cashier told an older woman that she should bring her grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized, "We didn't have this green thing back in my day."
The young clerk said, "Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."
She gave him a firm stare and a hard grin and said “Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles, and beer bottles. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over. They were recycled.
Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, which we reused for numerous things. We walked upstairs because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power did dry our clothes back in our day. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. The TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief, not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.
When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded-up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades with a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
Back then, people took a bus and kids rode their bikes instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles in space to find the nearest burger joint.
But the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing.”
The cashier stood there still and quiet as the old lady found her wallet to pay. Then lady turned to leave but stepped back and turned toward the cashier. She said “You have a world of knowledge in that little device in your hand. Pity you just use it to gossip, take pictures, and waste time. It would do you good to search a bit of history before you embarrass yourself like this again.
Forward this to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart-ass young person.
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