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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 5/21/2015 6:01:12 PM - Followers: 555 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#21098   Gardening with Grandma getmoreshares 05/21/15 06:01:12 PM
#21097   Men simply like to adjust their junk, it's SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/21/15 01:07:58 PM
#21096   A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even getmoreshares 05/21/15 08:36:07 AM
#21095   The best place to meet new women is SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/20/15 03:40:57 PM
#21094   Ha! Good one! pos_stock_hoarder 05/20/15 12:56:46 PM
#21093   Ice Fishing getmoreshares 05/20/15 11:24:53 AM
#21092   Last night I was mugged by an acupuncturist. SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/20/15 10:31:25 AM
#21091   Lol - that's a good one IH Admin [Shelly] 05/20/15 09:16:03 AM
#21090   I believe all the U.S.'s problems stem from SkeBallLarry 05/20/15 06:20:42 AM
#21089   Lol Roofer2 05/19/15 09:05:28 PM
#21088   One Fat Cat - Animal Jokes getmoreshares 05/19/15 05:23:01 PM
#21087   An attorney arrived home late, after a very getmoreshares 05/19/15 04:09:22 PM
#21086   Walk With Me While I Age getmoreshares 05/19/15 04:05:48 PM
#21085   One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. getmoreshares 05/19/15 12:03:06 PM
#21084   Safety first citizens! pos_stock_hoarder 05/19/15 09:18:55 AM
#21083   I! pos_stock_hoarder 05/18/15 01:40:35 PM
#21082   When my husband and I arrived at an getmoreshares 05/18/15 11:46:02 AM
#21081   My earliest memory is nine months before I SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/18/15 11:42:02 AM
#21080 Giovanni 05/18/15 11:09:42 AM
#21079 Giovanni 05/18/15 11:06:37 AM
#21078 Giovanni 05/18/15 10:49:27 AM
#21077 Giovanni 05/18/15 10:46:19 AM
#21076 Giovanni 05/18/15 10:36:56 AM
#21075 Giovanni 05/18/15 10:33:47 AM
#21074   Groan! pos_stock_hoarder 05/18/15 09:46:30 AM
#21073   As good and any explanation, lol. wow_happens28 05/17/15 09:03:29 PM
#21072   As good an explanation as I've ever heard! pos_stock_hoarder 05/17/15 12:16:07 PM
#21071   The leading cause of SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/16/15 02:33:50 PM
#21070   A wife comes home late one night, arriving getmoreshares 05/16/15 11:32:56 AM
#21069   A little girl was in church with her getmoreshares 05/15/15 06:06:55 PM
#21068   -A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice getmoreshares 05/15/15 05:41:38 PM
#21067   A guy is on a business trip and getmoreshares 05/15/15 05:38:49 PM
#21066   Used car salesman chooses Hell wow_happens28 05/15/15 11:51:07 AM
#21065   Fun in Hell getmoreshares 05/15/15 10:43:05 AM
#21064   Newbie here--just found the board-thanks to Admin!! Will getmoreshares 05/14/15 08:39:47 PM
#21063   This ties in, from Nitwit post wow_happens28 05/14/15 03:47:45 PM
#21062   :-) pos_stock_hoarder 05/14/15 09:43:43 AM
#21061   31 Things That You Will NEVER Hear Southern SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/14/15 08:44:16 AM
#21060[/img PappaJohn 05/13/15 07:58:21 PM
#21059   A senior citizen was kinda bored with retirement SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/13/15 11:41:18 AM
#21058   Only attractive people that get laid all the SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/13/15 11:40:14 AM
#21057   My second childhood SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/13/15 11:24:49 AM
#21056   Dear John, excel 05/11/15 08:49:12 PM
#21055   Anoint away Rat! :-) pos_stock_hoarder 05/11/15 10:20:04 AM
#21054   I like it!! Gmenfan 05/11/15 10:14:10 AM
#21053 pos_stock_hoarder 05/11/15 10:12:28 AM
#21052   It's not easy being us! pos_stock_hoarder 05/11/15 10:11:48 AM
#21051   My wife's got a great personality! SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/11/15 08:57:52 AM
#21050   " LOL " .. !! SkeBallLarry 05/11/15 07:16:28 AM
#21049 Flobewan 05/11/15 12:12:50 AM