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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 6/27/2016 12:35:40 PM - Followers: 565 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#22644   I told my friend I made $600 a SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/27/16 12:35:40 PM
#22643   Friend: "Why don't you take your wife to SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/26/16 02:15:58 PM
#22642   My talking dog gave me a stick the SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/25/16 01:38:56 PM
#22641   I never thought I'd be the type to SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/24/16 11:16:46 AM
#22640   :-) pos_stock_hoarder 06/24/16 10:19:45 AM
#22639   Amish Computer Virus has gone viral! SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/24/16 08:30:28 AM
#22638   Lose weight Now! SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/24/16 08:27:36 AM
#22637   Actor Michael Douglas sparked a firestorm claiming that SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/24/16 08:21:10 AM
#22636   One December day we found an old straggly SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/23/16 03:25:15 PM
#22635   A Florida Couple Was Watching A Discovery Channel SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/23/16 03:22:53 PM
#22634   My wife and I were on safari in SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/23/16 11:20:00 AM
#22633   After a night of heavy drinking, I woke SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/22/16 03:32:35 PM
#22632   LOL on both! pos_stock_hoarder 06/22/16 02:36:28 PM
#22631   LMAO!!! Gmenfan 06/22/16 01:41:10 PM
#22630 mnfats 06/22/16 01:38:15 PM
#22629 mnfats 06/22/16 01:33:30 PM
#22628   A little girl talking to Mommy SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/22/16 09:59:18 AM
#22627   I ditched my girlfriend. SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/22/16 09:57:34 AM
#22626   Boss: "You're late again! Do you know what SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/21/16 01:18:29 PM
#22625   A big burly woman walked into a bar SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/21/16 01:15:05 PM
#22624   After coming home sad from a date a SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/21/16 10:28:02 AM
#22623   A girl says to her boyfriend "I SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/21/16 10:26:20 AM
#22622   A man came home from work SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/21/16 10:24:10 AM
#22621   A husband and wife were having dinner at SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/19/16 09:47:34 AM
#22620   Father's Day PappaJohn 06/19/16 09:23:23 AM
#22619   An inexperienced preacher was to hold a graveside devnull 06/17/16 04:49:06 PM
#22618   Show me a rower who has fallen out SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/17/16 12:08:58 PM
#22617   Where there's smoke, there's dinner. SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/17/16 12:03:52 PM
#22616   If you're bringing a kid to my house, SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/17/16 12:02:29 PM
#22615   The formula for a happy marriage is the SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/17/16 10:00:23 AM
#22614   An old man and a young woman are SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/17/16 09:43:54 AM
#22613   Exactly and the contribution was given willingly. Gmenfan 06/17/16 08:17:52 AM
#22612   Any way you look at it, with the Markss40 06/16/16 11:49:15 PM
#22611   Exactly. And, you probably even get kissed after Gmenfan 06/16/16 12:35:01 PM
#22610   At least when you pay her and get pos_stock_hoarder 06/16/16 12:32:41 PM
#22609   A lot harder worker and more productive Gmenfan 06/16/16 11:46:09 AM
#22608   LOL Me too. mnfats 06/16/16 11:43:50 AM
#22607   I'd be more likely to believe the prostitute!!!! pos_stock_hoarder 06/16/16 11:40:48 AM
#22606 mnfats 06/16/16 11:38:29 AM
#22605 mnfats 06/16/16 11:35:51 AM
#22604   A Romanian, a Jew and a Somali are SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/15/16 07:51:36 PM
#22603   Thanks. mnfats 06/15/16 01:48:42 PM
#22602   Nice run. SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/15/16 01:45:02 PM
#22601   "I'd like the number for Christine Smith in mnfats 06/15/16 01:35:03 PM
#22600   Wal-Mart is now considering selling wine from vending mnfats 06/15/16 01:31:33 PM
#22599   A guy is walking through a fairground one mnfats 06/15/16 01:29:32 PM
#22598   A stingy man has just moved to a mnfats 06/15/16 01:21:35 PM
#22597   An American astronaut has an emergency during his mnfats 06/15/16 01:14:34 PM
#22596   Busted! pos_stock_hoarder 06/15/16 09:12:45 AM
#22595   A woman went to the local psychic in SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/15/16 09:10:54 AM