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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 3/4/2015 11:29:25 AM - Followers: 551 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 1

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#20777 mnfats 03/04/15 11:29:25 AM
#20776   An older gentleman was on the operating table excel 03/03/15 04:32:54 PM
#20775   My therapist said that I needed to find SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/03/15 03:36:50 PM
#20774   Kid's Voices PappaJohn 03/02/15 08:18:07 AM
#20773   I was working late at the Cellphone Warehouse SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/01/15 11:21:35 AM
#20772   What do you call a pill SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/28/15 11:30:34 AM
#20771   "Ever since we got married... SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/28/15 11:22:21 AM
#20770   An old cowboy was in a saloon. SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/28/15 11:21:17 AM
#20769   A woman comes home and tells her husband, SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/27/15 10:07:21 AM
#20768   A girl went to her doctor complaining that SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/27/15 10:06:49 AM
#20767   A young man saw an elderly couple SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/27/15 09:59:32 AM
#20766   Funny stuff iheartweimers 02/26/15 09:54:16 PM
#20765   Don't you hate it when someone answers their SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/26/15 11:33:16 AM
#20764   The owner of a small deli was being excel 02/25/15 09:38:38 PM
#20763   Three old men were talking about their health SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/25/15 12:49:56 PM
#20762   Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in excel 02/25/15 11:56:04 AM
#20761   In Beijing there is a SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/24/15 03:44:10 PM
#20760   A Texas State trooper pulled a car over SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/24/15 03:37:48 PM
#20759   THE BACK NINE SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/24/15 12:00:40 PM
#20758   A woman stopped me and asked... SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/24/15 09:44:11 AM
#20757   You know you're Italian if: SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/23/15 01:08:08 PM
#20756   A Scotsman on a visit to Chicago was SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/22/15 10:07:18 AM
#20755   An elderly man and woman... SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/22/15 10:02:53 AM
#20754   Senior wedding SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/22/15 10:01:29 AM
#20753   Farmers only .com SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/22/15 09:58:54 AM
#20752   My neighbor just came back from two weeks iheartweimers 02/21/15 06:15:16 PM
#20751   A plane was shot down over Iraq... SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/21/15 09:58:14 AM
#20750   Not a joke but an amazing display of Gmenfan 02/20/15 02:18:59 PM
#20749   A couple of old guys were golfing when SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/20/15 02:04:34 PM
#20748   There's a man on the way up the mnfats 02/19/15 02:44:03 PM
#20747   And on the 8th day God said, OK mnfats 02/19/15 02:13:05 PM
#20746   Jill:Do you ever miss the ex? mnfats 02/19/15 02:10:15 PM
#20745   A Sloth was reporting he was robbed by SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/19/15 10:57:35 AM
#20744   Beatrice's nephew was 4 when she was pregnant mnfats 02/17/15 03:36:21 PM
#20743   Work is a great thing.............. SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/17/15 01:03:58 PM
#20742   The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies Flobewan 02/17/15 12:04:36 PM
#20741   Dear grapefruit, SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/17/15 10:48:42 AM
#20740   When travelling at the speed of sound, can SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/17/15 10:38:48 AM
#20739   I listened as this couple discussed the options SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/15/15 03:50:11 PM
#20738   On his 70th birthday, a man was given SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/14/15 08:55:11 AM
#20737   PSYCHOLOGY 101- Behavior Experiment excel 02/13/15 09:30:51 PM
#20736   Good bunch stuffy, I got a lot of The 8th Enigma 02/13/15 04:33:50 PM
#20735   Good one hoarder, lol The 8th Enigma 02/13/15 04:32:08 PM
#20734   Mating seson... pos_stock_hoarder 02/13/15 04:10:29 PM
#20733   I hate helping my wife SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/13/15 01:54:29 PM
#20732   A woman found out that her dog could SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/13/15 01:51:18 PM
#20731   I never know whether to screw up my SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/13/15 12:02:09 PM
#20730   "I changed my car horn from a honk Pro-Life 02/11/15 08:18:26 PM
#20729   Just bought a sandwich at the airport SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/11/15 10:20:46 AM
#20728   LMAO!!!!!!! Gmenfan 02/11/15 07:56:24 AM