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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 12/6/2016 3:10:06 PM - Followers: 567 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#23042   My friend keeps saying… SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/06/16 03:10:06 PM
#23041   Thanks stock. mnfats 12/04/16 05:09:34 PM
#23040   Good one! pos_stock_hoarder 12/04/16 04:28:26 PM
#23039 mnfats 12/04/16 03:18:52 PM
#23038 mnfats 12/04/16 02:58:39 PM
#23037   I talked to a homeless man this mnfats 12/04/16 02:45:06 PM
#23036   What is "marketing"? SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/03/16 10:38:43 AM
#23035   There was an american man who lived in SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/03/16 10:32:37 AM
#23034   :-) pos_stock_hoarder 12/03/16 09:34:49 AM
#23033 PappaJohn 12/02/16 10:48:09 PM
#23032   The consensus after the election is… SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/02/16 10:27:23 AM
#23031   Three men were in an auto accident and SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/02/16 10:18:10 AM
#23030   GHOST back2basics 12/01/16 02:21:04 PM
#23029   21 lines. 21 smiles! back2basics 11/30/16 06:43:19 PM
#23028   Ann had never married, and was known for e-ore 11/30/16 05:36:30 PM
#23027   YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2016 WHEN... excel 11/30/16 11:26:15 AM
#23026   A little boy came home from school... SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/30/16 09:39:34 AM
#23025   An old geezer, who had been a retired excel 11/30/16 01:20:02 AM
#23024   You can’t buy Hot Pockets, you can only SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/29/16 02:30:09 PM
#23023   A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, mnfats 11/29/16 01:54:32 PM
#23022   One of our patients wasn't taking any chances. mnfats 11/29/16 01:42:48 PM
#23021 excel 11/29/16 12:45:54 AM
#23020   My wife has the body of a woman SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/28/16 11:54:00 AM
#23019   Spot on! Good boy, Spot! pos_stock_hoarder 11/28/16 10:10:55 AM
#23018 excel 11/28/16 12:05:55 AM
#23017   A teacher asks the kids in her class SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/27/16 08:23:06 AM
#23016   A woman and a man meet at a SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/27/16 08:21:59 AM
#23015   That's awesome! devnull 11/25/16 04:32:52 PM
#23014   Church Bulletin Bloopers: devnull 11/25/16 04:29:54 PM
#23013   Once upon a time, there lived a man devnull 11/25/16 04:10:30 PM
#23012   An old man was on his deathbed. SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/25/16 01:32:36 PM
#23011   My checking account is like the Sistine Chapel: SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/25/16 01:04:46 PM
#23010   A new diet. SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/25/16 12:59:16 PM
#23009   Pumpkin pie ingredients: pumpkin, spice, cinnamon, puree, sugar,brown sugar... SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/25/16 10:12:32 AM
#23007   The Elephant and The Rope SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/25/16 10:05:40 AM
#23006   LMAO!!! Gmenfan 11/24/16 12:57:11 PM
#23005   A small church had a very attractive big-busted SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/24/16 12:00:58 PM
#23004   LOL! pos_stock_hoarder 11/23/16 11:07:06 PM
#23003   Time for ........ excel 11/23/16 09:25:31 PM
#23002   I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/23/16 01:59:31 PM
#23001   Coversation while pumping gas SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/23/16 10:50:43 AM
#23000 excel 11/23/16 02:42:35 AM
#22999 excel 11/23/16 02:40:46 AM
#22998 excel 11/23/16 02:38:49 AM
#22997   What Not to Name Your Dog SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/22/16 11:15:16 AM
#22996   I can't wait for thanksgiving. SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/22/16 11:14:45 AM
#22995   I'm not saying she's easy, but if she SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/22/16 11:08:26 AM
#22994   My neighbor is a doctor at the hospital SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/22/16 11:07:56 AM
#22993   Groucho Marx Quotes SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/21/16 10:21:25 AM