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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 4/18/2015 5:57:59 PM - Followers: 552 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#20985   Been using that one for quite a while. Gmenfan 04/18/15 05:57:59 PM
#20984   Rushing to get to the movies, my husband mnfats 04/18/15 03:45:34 PM
#20983   As the lawyer slowly came out of the mnfats 04/18/15 03:38:04 PM
#20982   A New York judge is presiding over the mnfats 04/18/15 03:30:03 PM
#20981   Women, you're in good shape as long as mnfats 04/18/15 03:03:13 PM
#20980   Shart happens. lol mnfats 04/18/15 02:59:26 PM
#20979   Good Perspective: SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/18/15 12:07:54 PM
#20978   Jim decided to tie the knot with his The 8th Enigma 04/18/15 09:21:53 AM
#20977   I am a senior and we have a The 8th Enigma 04/17/15 11:44:26 PM
#20976   LOLOL, I'm gonna pass that one on. Flobewan 04/17/15 06:21:19 PM
#20975   Texting codes for Seniors pos_stock_hoarder 04/17/15 06:02:11 PM
#20974   Q. How do you scare a man? mnfats 04/17/15 04:38:58 PM
#20973   My morning commute was hectic today. I tripped SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/17/15 03:42:35 PM
#20972   If a police dog is chasing you, SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/16/15 11:55:10 AM
#20971   Cat's in the Cradle updated.... pos_stock_hoarder 04/16/15 10:01:35 AM
#20970   " LOL " .. !! SkeBallLarry 04/16/15 08:35:27 AM
#20969   4 friends (Ladies) meet 30 years after school EZ2 04/16/15 08:32:55 AM
#20968   There was a blonde who just got sick r2g2 04/15/15 08:23:52 PM
#20967   Mother came home unexpectedly one evening, and she mnfats 04/15/15 02:25:03 PM
#20966   Classic old one. mnfats 04/15/15 02:23:53 PM
#20965   Thanks Larry. mnfats 04/15/15 02:22:35 PM
#20964   The shapely topless dancer went to Mass dressed mnfats 04/15/15 02:22:00 PM
#20963   " LOL " .. !! SkeBallLarry 04/15/15 02:21:09 PM
#20962   A man was placed mnfats 04/15/15 02:19:38 PM
#20961   This fella passed away, and he arrives at mnfats 04/15/15 02:15:51 PM
#20960   "I tell ya, I get no respect from mnfats 04/15/15 02:15:00 PM
#20959   LOL Thanks. mnfats 04/15/15 02:12:56 PM
#20958   Better stick to drones! pos_stock_hoarder 04/15/15 10:08:10 AM
#20957   PHONE REPAIR EZ2 04/15/15 08:21:00 AM
#20956   Listen, I'll play that funky music if you SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/14/15 10:48:35 AM
#20955 pos_stock_hoarder 04/14/15 08:54:01 AM
#20954   A local United Way office realized that the r2g2 04/13/15 09:30:20 PM
#20953   "In a new survey it was found that mnfats 04/13/15 03:59:54 PM
#20952   I can't stand people who are unwilling to SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/13/15 02:49:51 PM
#20951   Good one fats, lol The 8th Enigma 04/13/15 01:26:54 PM
#20950   A man ordered for a voice automated robot mnfats 04/13/15 01:06:16 PM
#20949   Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, mnfats 04/13/15 12:19:58 PM
#20948   A man was sitting in a bar and mnfats 04/13/15 12:16:40 PM
#20947   Good one! pos_stock_hoarder 04/12/15 10:16:48 PM
#20946   An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor r2g2 04/12/15 07:12:52 PM
#20945   A blonde and a lawyer are seated next r2g2 04/12/15 07:08:49 PM
#20944 pos_stock_hoarder 04/12/15 12:43:36 PM
#20943   Spiderman's only fear: Rolled-up Newspaper Man SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/12/15 12:34:45 PM
#20942   Two older men SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/12/15 12:21:20 PM
#20941   LOL Bet that happens a lot in Michigan. mnfats 04/11/15 12:12:21 PM
#20940   As long as there have been farmers, there excel 04/09/15 08:41:53 PM
#20939   Hey is it just me or is there SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/09/15 02:20:35 PM
#20938   " LOL " .. !! SkeBallLarry 04/09/15 11:18:44 AM
#20937   A guy walks in and sits down at SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/09/15 11:09:52 AM
#20936   Good one. SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/09/15 10:07:48 AM