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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 4/26/2017 1:50:53 PM - Followers: 562 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#23531   Studies have shown that men think about sex SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/26/17 01:50:53 PM
#23530   Today we’ll be discussing near-death experiences SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/26/17 09:20:13 AM
#23529   Last night my hubby got mad because I SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/25/17 11:55:57 AM
#23528   I once dated a girl who had mirrors SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/24/17 10:21:31 AM
#23527   A priest was leaving his church after 25 SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/23/17 11:00:12 AM
#23526   brain teasers SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/22/17 06:48:14 PM
#23525   I asked my wife for "something Cuban" for SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/22/17 09:50:22 AM
#23524   Remember, parents: SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/22/17 08:31:25 AM
#23523   A New York attorney representing a wealthy art SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/22/17 08:27:57 AM
#23522   Those pool tables can really hurt you wow_happens28 04/21/17 04:54:54 PM
#23521   Thank you. Many are completely oblivious to this devnull 04/21/17 04:04:45 PM
#23520   What goes in hard and stiff and comes Gmenfan 04/21/17 01:16:25 PM
#23519   The world's first drive-thru marijuana store SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/21/17 12:06:42 PM
#23518   What's green, has 4 legs and could kill BTKV 04/21/17 10:49:48 AM
#23517   What's brown and sticky? jimbob4stocks 04/21/17 10:43:18 AM
#23516   Thank you, PapaJ. back2basics 04/20/17 08:03:12 PM
#23515   Sorry ... It's a dog thing! :-) Gmenfan 04/20/17 08:02:36 PM
#23514   Gmen, do you mind if I delete this back2basics 04/20/17 07:56:10 PM
#23513   There were three priests in a railroad station, getmoreshares 04/20/17 05:56:52 PM
#23512   That is one of my favorite stories. PappaJohn 04/20/17 05:33:05 PM
#23511   Dogs are said to be empathetic. Gmenfan 04/20/17 05:01:40 PM
#23510   We have a small herd of Shih Tzus. Gmenfan 04/20/17 04:58:45 PM
#23509   HARR!!!! ONEBGG 04/20/17 03:13:59 PM
#23508   I have a 12 lb terrier that I'm back2basics 04/20/17 02:46:11 PM
#23507   Excellent!!! Gmenfan 04/20/17 02:38:17 PM
#23506   The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds excel 04/20/17 02:28:53 PM
#23505   Me too! Gmenfan 04/20/17 02:11:55 PM
#23504   The one about the dog got me. SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/20/17 01:36:39 PM
#23503   Shore, thanks. That little boy story is back2basics 04/20/17 01:28:28 PM
#23502   I posted this over a year ago and SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/20/17 12:59:04 PM
#23501   Great stories Shore! back2basics 04/20/17 12:13:56 PM
#23500   These twelve short stories are all very good SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/20/17 10:27:15 AM
#23499   A man boarded an airplane and took his getmoreshares 04/18/17 06:55:40 PM
#23498   He's a man of hidden talents. As soon SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/17/17 09:55:42 AM
#23497   Blessed Easter to all. PappaJohn 04/16/17 01:00:32 PM
#23496   My relationship with scotch has been on the SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/16/17 10:24:05 AM
#23495   Brilliant. ONEBGG 04/15/17 06:07:46 PM
#23494   LOL! ONEBGG 04/15/17 06:04:41 PM
#23493   LOL!!! ONEBGG 04/15/17 05:58:40 PM
#23492   HARR!!!!! ONEBGG 04/15/17 05:57:47 PM
#23491   A gymnast walks into a bar. She gets SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/15/17 04:22:12 PM
#23490   My wife accused me of being self-important. SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/15/17 12:27:41 PM
#23489   The railroad boss said to me today, “You’re SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/15/17 12:27:14 PM
#23488   I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake-up call. SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/15/17 12:26:18 PM
#23487[/ch mnfats 04/14/17 04:50:37 PM
#23486   A man wanted an Easter pet for his devnull 04/14/17 04:37:39 PM
#23485   You start with a cage containing four monkeys, e-ore 04/14/17 04:36:12 PM
#23484   :-) pos_stock_hoarder 04/14/17 12:00:00 PM
#23483   When I go bowling, I like to make SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/14/17 10:44:21 AM
#23482   United earned every jibe and jab it gets. back2basics 04/13/17 11:18:24 PM