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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 2/10/2016 11:20:21 PM - Followers: 562 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#22040   Your secret is safeish with me. SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/10/16 11:20:21 PM
#22039   Bedroom golf rules SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/10/16 12:28:18 PM
#22038   A couple of old guys were golfing when SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/10/16 12:23:45 PM
#22037   A photon is going through airport security. The SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/08/16 03:50:04 PM
#22036   Yep .... Released in 1970. Twenty years later Gmenfan 02/08/16 12:13:14 PM
#22035   Same here. pos_stock_hoarder 02/08/16 12:09:09 PM
#22034   Five Man Electric Band is the version they excel 02/08/16 11:14:06 AM
#22033   Both versions??? Gmenfan 02/08/16 08:40:12 AM
#22032   I remember that song. excel 02/07/16 04:54:09 PM
#22031   Nice siggy! pos_stock_hoarder 02/07/16 02:48:41 PM
#22030   Is the son a member of Congress? pos_stock_hoarder 02/07/16 02:03:25 PM
#22029   Yep! excel 02/07/16 12:16:35 PM
#22028   A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/07/16 11:05:14 AM
#22027   Dearest Redneck Son, SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/07/16 11:01:05 AM
#22026   Suicide by wife! pos_stock_hoarder 02/07/16 10:16:46 AM
#22025   Murphy the Irish Painter SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/07/16 09:18:03 AM
#22024   Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding excel 02/06/16 11:36:05 PM
#22023   Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding excel 02/06/16 11:30:48 PM
#22022   The 100 Jokes That Shaped Modern Comedy basserdan 02/06/16 05:20:46 PM
#22021   LOL! pos_stock_hoarder 02/06/16 05:05:50 PM
#22020 mnfats 02/06/16 03:10:28 PM
#22019   A very tight man was looking for a SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/06/16 11:27:27 AM
#22018   An older, white haired man walked into a SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/06/16 11:26:09 AM
#22017   After directory assistance SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/06/16 11:24:21 AM
#22016   A young couple SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/06/16 11:23:25 AM
#22015   A man goes to a shrink SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/06/16 10:28:54 AM
#22014   Churches need to keep up on maintenance! excel 02/05/16 11:00:17 PM
#22013   ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did devnull 02/05/16 04:53:02 PM
#22012   Good one! devnull 02/05/16 04:52:05 PM
#22011   Thought this was some good info....some of it SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/05/16 01:11:18 PM
#22010   My wife complained that I treat her like SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/05/16 12:08:08 PM
#22009   A new business was opening and one of excel 02/05/16 11:27:00 AM
#22008   A woman in her fifties went to a SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/04/16 09:05:45 AM
#22007   Two men are pushing their shopping carts around SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/04/16 09:03:35 AM
#22006   Code Word For Sex SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/04/16 09:02:32 AM
#22005   I was having trouble getting to sleep last SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/03/16 01:51:12 PM
#22004   Nyuck! pos_stock_hoarder 02/03/16 01:17:17 PM
#22003   LMAO ...... Gmenfan 02/03/16 01:14:48 PM
#22002   LMAO Flobewan 02/03/16 01:11:32 PM
#22001   I hate people who SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/03/16 11:25:34 AM
#22000   Once there was a rich mother who SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/03/16 11:16:43 AM
#21999   Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/03/16 11:11:53 AM
#21998   A few people were against a mosque being SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/03/16 11:09:26 AM
#21997   An old nun, a cute Swedish girl, an SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/03/16 11:07:57 AM
#21996   There was a midget down in Texas who SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/03/16 11:06:42 AM
#21994   A hillbilly boy SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/02/16 01:39:55 PM
#21993   One day, there was a man who got SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/02/16 09:18:11 AM
#21992   My wife burst into the bedroom SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/02/16 09:16:51 AM
#21991   Saturday Night Funny Video: Oblivious Local News Anchors Pro-Life 02/01/16 10:06:33 AM