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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 10/31/2014 11:13:11 PM - Followers: 543 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#20455   The best of SHORENUFFSTUFF one liners-October The 8th Enigma 10/31/14 11:13:11 PM
#20454[/ch mnfats 10/31/14 04:11:08 PM
#20453 mnfats 10/31/14 01:13:59 PM
#20452   An oldie: Gmenfan 10/30/14 05:56:41 PM
#20451   An 18 year old Italian girl tells her SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/30/14 10:33:02 AM
#20450   I sent it out too! Pick pick pos_stock_hoarder 10/30/14 10:23:42 AM
#20449   Now that's funny!!! I'm passing this along via e-mail. Gmenfan 10/30/14 05:51:30 AM
#20448 excel 10/29/14 11:48:13 PM
#20447   The Italian Wedding Test SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/29/14 08:52:13 PM
#20446   My daughter turns 3 today. Due to our SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/29/14 10:57:35 AM
#20445   SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/29/14 09:34:16 AM
#20444   Warning: Explicit groaner material follows! Proceed pos_stock_hoarder 10/24/14 10:16:28 AM
#20443   This is an oldie but I still laugh Gmenfan 10/23/14 05:20:28 PM
#20442   I had a Mustang back in the day pos_stock_hoarder 10/22/14 10:31:06 PM
#20441   Another thing you can do is catch a Doubloon 10/22/14 08:18:33 PM
#20440   "What? Why am I a part of this?" SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/22/14 12:28:58 PM
#20439   Breaking up is hard to do. SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/22/14 12:17:58 PM
#20438   Safety first. SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/22/14 12:12:04 PM
#20437   At the risk of offending my fans, I SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/22/14 12:00:02 PM
#20436   I think when a transvestite goes missing SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/22/14 11:57:29 AM
#20435   May your mouse traps snap straight and true! pos_stock_hoarder 10/22/14 11:28:43 AM
#20434   Someone I know said that too, about the backtrax 10/22/14 10:38:47 AM
#20433   Peanut butter and an old fashioned spring trap pos_stock_hoarder 10/22/14 10:31:40 AM
#20432   ...not yet. There's no-way your going to find backtrax 10/22/14 10:17:09 AM
#20431   So did ya find the mouse!!?? Gmenfan 10/22/14 10:07:27 AM
#20430   "If Mama ain't Happy, NObody's Happy." backtrax 10/22/14 10:02:35 AM
#20429   I was wondering if this was going to pos_stock_hoarder 10/22/14 09:07:38 AM
#20428   " LOL " .. !! SkeBallLarry 10/22/14 05:25:39 AM
#20427   Aunt Chippie: crudeoil24 10/21/14 09:48:16 PM
#20426   > Subject: The 8th Enigma 10/20/14 07:36:16 PM
#20425   My first car, a 1964 maroon Falcoooooooooon Futura Newhampsha 10/20/14 10:55:28 AM
#20424   Being an old timer I had a hunch Gmenfan 10/20/14 09:39:16 AM
#20423   " LOL " .. !! SkeBallLarry 10/20/14 09:38:28 AM
#20422   I have received many remarkable nature photographs over Newhampsha 10/20/14 09:37:05 AM
#20421   Sometimes women are overly suspicious SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/20/14 08:41:00 AM
#20420   I picked up this chick who said she SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/20/14 08:36:56 AM
#20419   They Walk Among Us! SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/19/14 11:44:52 AM
#20418   As I sit here naked in Hugh Jackman's SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/19/14 11:42:27 AM
#20417   So I admit being computer challenged. I The 8th Enigma 10/18/14 09:04:13 PM
#20416   An explorer in the Amazon suddenly found himself SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/18/14 12:41:50 PM
#20415   On the list of things people fear the SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/18/14 09:37:23 AM
#20414   Dear neighbor SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/17/14 04:10:34 PM
#20413   Politicians only kiss babies because SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/17/14 04:05:32 PM
#20412   Does the 5-second rule still apply in the SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/16/14 03:51:38 PM
#20411   "Diapers are the Last Refuge of the Incontinent!" backtrax 10/15/14 12:59:56 PM
#20410   Does the world really need another rhetorical question? SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/14 12:57:55 PM
#20409   You left a note on the fridge saying SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/14 12:47:51 PM
#20408   Me? A Procrastinator? SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/14 12:39:52 PM
#20407   Why thank you, sir! I was totally unaware SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/14 10:40:56 AM
#20406   BOO---LOL The 8th Enigma 10/14/14 06:23:14 PM