Fidelity SPDR Advertisement
Home > Boards > The Lounge > Humor/Jokes >

Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

      Hide Sticky   Hide Intro
Moderator: PappaJohn Assistants:
Search This Board:
Last Post: 8/29/2014 11:19:23 AM - Followers: 544 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 1

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#20246   To Err, is human... But to ARrrr! is Pirate.. backtrax 08/29/14 11:19:23 AM
#20245   Levels of stress the_8th 08/28/14 08:52:18 PM
#20244   Tree hugging -- a heart-warming story Gmenfan 08/28/14 02:39:41 PM
#20243   Are we still burning witches? It's the 21st SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/28/14 12:50:05 PM
#20242   I'm glad I don't have to hunt for SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/28/14 12:38:19 PM
#20241   Sally was driving home from one of her SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/28/14 12:28:26 PM
#20240   On their wedding night, the young bride approached SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/28/14 12:27:36 PM
#20239 pos_stock_hoarder 08/28/14 10:31:06 AM
#20238   London cab driver's answer to a request from SkeBallLarry 08/28/14 10:17:51 AM
#20237   The Dedicated Deer Hunter SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/27/14 05:05:49 PM
#20236   Beer Contains Female Hormones!!! SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/27/14 05:04:45 PM
#20235   A Doctor was addressing a large audience: SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/27/14 05:03:12 PM
#20234   I've sure gotten old. I've had two By-pass SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/27/14 05:01:07 PM
#20233   A really sloppy drunk is draped over the SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/27/14 04:59:59 PM
#20232   Jim and Edna were both patients in a SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/27/14 04:55:06 PM
#20231   Hamburger Helper only works SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/27/14 11:36:20 AM
#20230   Perfect Bride Newhampsha 08/27/14 09:57:43 AM
#20229   Old gold! Love it! pos_stock_hoarder 08/27/14 09:39:24 AM
#20228   A ragged old derelict shuffled into a down-and-dirty SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/27/14 09:37:02 AM
#20227   What deep thinkers we men are... I mowed SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/26/14 12:58:29 PM
#20226   Best Freiends - Men & Women SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/26/14 12:44:14 PM
#20225   A couple took their young son to the SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/26/14 12:40:32 PM
#20224   Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/26/14 12:39:10 PM
#20223   A man returning home a day early from SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/26/14 12:35:30 PM
#20222   and Condoms .. ! SkeBallLarry 08/25/14 10:16:44 AM
#20221   And books! pos_stock_hoarder 08/25/14 10:15:37 AM
#20220   Ferguson, MO Newhampsha 08/25/14 09:35:55 AM
#20219   You Know It's Time For A Diet When: mnfats 08/23/14 02:19:27 PM
#20218   OMG! pos_stock_hoarder 08/23/14 09:50:20 AM
#20217   You heading to Walmart today? Be careful how crudeoil24 08/23/14 08:53:58 AM
#20216   The children had all been photographed, and the excel 08/23/14 06:36:53 AM
#20215   I must be ill - I thought I SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/21/14 12:36:18 PM
#20214   Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is in the SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/21/14 12:26:01 PM
#20213   My son and his friends are great ... SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/21/14 12:23:34 PM
#20212   Remember when tap dancing was cool back in SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/21/14 12:07:06 PM
#20211   When you send food back to the kitchen, SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/19/14 10:00:28 AM
#20209   On Monday, an owl killed a canary after SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/19/14 09:46:12 AM
#20208   It must be hard to judge a wet SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/18/14 09:44:19 AM
#20207   Time for a groaner: mnfats 08/16/14 03:58:03 PM
#20206   Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from mnfats 08/16/14 03:48:56 PM
#20205 mnfats 08/16/14 01:44:13 PM
#20204   I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/15/14 02:24:42 PM
#20203   A roasted peanut is a regular peanut SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/15/14 02:18:53 PM
#20202   I've had amnesia as long as I can remember. SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/14/14 02:55:22 PM
#20201   For a good party trick, drill a hole SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/14/14 11:27:11 AM
#20200   Two Coffees in Heaven! Newhampsha 08/14/14 07:12:06 AM
#20199   Safety first! pos_stock_hoarder 08/13/14 03:58:22 PM
#20198   We are all in the same game PappaJohn 08/13/14 02:03:40 PM
#20197   There was a university in New England where excel 08/13/14 10:16:55 AM
#20196   Sorry, yes he was funny, but a damn Newhampsha 08/13/14 07:21:47 AM