SureTrader SPDR Advertisement SPDR Advertisement
Home > Boards > The Lounge > Humor/Jokes >

Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

      Hide Sticky   Hide Intro
Moderator: PappaJohn Assistants:
Search This Board:
Last Post: 8/3/2015 12:03:47 PM - Followers: 557 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 1

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#21369   I woke up today with with some guy SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/03/15 12:03:47 PM
#21368   Beautiful!!! Particularly, California and Florida. Gmenfan 08/02/15 05:03:11 PM
#21367   Retirement Options SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/02/15 12:13:33 PM
#21366   The guy who coined "put that in your SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/02/15 12:00:55 PM
#21365   A female newscaster is interviewing the leader of SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/02/15 11:47:17 AM
#21364   John receives a phone call. Hello? he answers. SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/02/15 11:46:33 AM
#21363   From the comment section of that video ............... excel 08/02/15 10:19:41 AM
#21362   Epic Puppy Sneeze > SkeBallLarry 08/02/15 10:12:38 AM
#21361   Married Life SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/01/15 10:31:49 AM
#21360   The Poles have just acquired 1000 septic tanks. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/31/15 09:39:42 AM
#21359   I was told today is National Margarita Day, SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/30/15 01:53:29 PM
#21358   Had to re-read it to catch the little pos_stock_hoarder 07/30/15 01:25:35 PM
#21357   BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, .....LOL wow_happens28 07/30/15 12:06:05 PM
#21356   Oh man, this cartoonist must not be a pos_stock_hoarder 07/30/15 10:48:40 AM
#21355 pos_stock_hoarder 07/30/15 10:39:32 AM
#21354   Me too :) e-ore 07/29/15 07:13:05 PM
#21353   Love that list! pos_stock_hoarder 07/29/15 07:06:02 PM
#21352   I present to you the joke of the excel 07/29/15 05:45:35 PM
#21351   COURT REPORTERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES ! e-ore 07/29/15 05:33:05 PM
#21350   The other night I ate rocky mountain oysters. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/29/15 01:22:04 PM
#21349   "I want frog legs." Fancy restaurant order or SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/29/15 09:43:28 AM
#21348   Caffeine is bad for you, SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/29/15 09:24:06 AM
#21347   A Blonde's Phone Call to Mom SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/28/15 12:18:40 PM
#21346   I am selling a 3-legged table SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/28/15 10:52:25 AM
#21345   Thought for the day: pos_stock_hoarder 07/28/15 10:27:40 AM
#21344   Sign in the men's room at a golf course: e-ore 07/27/15 02:48:05 PM
#21343   A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several e-ore 07/27/15 02:45:44 PM
#21342   "I don't care if you are an usher SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/25/15 03:32:06 PM
#21341   One good groan deserves another! pos_stock_hoarder 07/25/15 12:11:11 PM
#21340   A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes mr40 07/25/15 12:21:32 AM
#21339   The 10th Sikh Rifles drilled during the monsoon. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/24/15 01:02:40 PM
#21338   My wife has a million-dollar figure, but the SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/22/15 03:18:14 PM
#21337   A blonde was on the way to winning SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/21/15 12:41:16 PM
#21336   One hot summer day, a blonde came to SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/21/15 12:36:55 PM
#21335   I phoned up the Weak Bladder Helpline today. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/20/15 02:36:09 PM
#21334 PappaJohn 07/20/15 01:09:18 PM
#21333   My wife calls me a SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/19/15 10:46:44 AM
#21332   A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/19/15 10:41:59 AM
#21331   If a midget smokes weed,does he get medium? SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/19/15 10:38:08 AM
#21330   TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO mr40 07/18/15 02:49:54 PM
#21329   Rosie, you've been a widow for 3 years SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/17/15 10:00:30 AM
#21328   Two cops are standing by the street side SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/17/15 09:57:37 AM
#21327   "Barry, what happened to your leg?" SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/17/15 09:55:59 AM
#21326   A lion woke up one morning feeling really SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/17/15 09:53:47 AM
#21325   An angry wife was complaining about her husband... SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/17/15 09:52:38 AM
#21324   At a church dinner, there was a pile excel 07/17/15 12:44:33 AM
#21323   Recently one Congressman from a Bible belt congressional SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/15/15 09:15:27 AM
#21322   The bartender asks the guy sitting at the SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/15/15 09:14:34 AM
#21321   A man has been lost and walking in excel 07/14/15 11:46:23 AM
#21320   And that's why I got it right away! Gmenfan 07/14/15 11:31:50 AM