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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 6/26/2017 3:55:43 PM - Followers: 561 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#23670   Isn't she sweet?! pos_stock_hoarder 06/26/17 03:55:43 PM
#23669[/ mnfats 06/26/17 03:09:23 PM
#23668   A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation excel 06/26/17 09:32:44 AM
#23667   Goldie! pos_stock_hoarder 06/24/17 10:53:45 PM
#23666   Two engineering students were crossing campus when one basserdan 06/24/17 09:27:00 PM
#23665   Love that guy. He does some great ones. excel 06/23/17 02:30:20 PM
#23664 SkeBallLarry 06/23/17 10:52:39 AM
#23663   Why don't autobiographies ever end with the SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/21/17 12:17:58 PM
#23662   That gave me an actual LOL!! back2basics 06/20/17 09:30:25 PM
#23661   A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for Gmenfan 06/20/17 08:08:03 AM
#23660   A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may getmoreshares 06/19/17 05:31:01 PM
#23659   Jeff Bezos: "Alexa, buy me something from Whole Foods" excel 06/18/17 11:34:06 AM
#23658   After a night of drink , drugs and Giovanni 06/17/17 09:35:53 PM
#23657   One day a lady walks into a very Quintessence 06/16/17 04:08:20 PM
#23656   Marvels of The Science, Episode 1, by Cracked Quintessence 06/16/17 04:06:02 PM
#23655   A Jew, a Black, a Handicap, a Gay, SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/13/17 11:15:13 AM
#23654   I can always tell when they use fake SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/13/17 08:02:41 AM
#23652   The shipwrecked sailor had spent several years on excel 06/12/17 04:42:08 PM
#23651   HARR!!!! ONEBGG 06/10/17 07:23:56 PM
#23650   Mint Flavored Birth Control Pill mnfats 06/10/17 04:40:21 PM
#23649   How come you're late?" asked the bartender, as mnfats 06/10/17 04:29:12 PM
#23648   The word "aerobics" came into common usage after mnfats 06/10/17 04:26:23 PM
#23647   A young woman was preparing for her wedding. SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/10/17 03:02:10 PM
#23646   Cool video: Real Life Trick Shots by Dude Perfect Quintessence 06/09/17 04:07:43 PM
#23645   It's been three years... SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/09/17 08:05:46 AM
#23644   As I sat down next to this guy, SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/08/17 12:12:33 PM
#23643   It was the annual homecoming dance at the getmoreshares 06/07/17 06:20:42 PM
#23642   Things not to say to a woman during SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/07/17 01:10:58 PM
#23641   People on Facebook really lose their shit... SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/07/17 09:31:20 AM
#23640   We now return to PAWN STARS: SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/06/17 08:28:52 AM
#23639   Media reports that people in Dubai wouldn't understand SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/04/17 10:09:45 AM
#23638   Tandem writing assignment. Quintessence 06/02/17 04:44:01 PM
#23637   Reminds me of the movie Roadhouse with Patrick BTKV 06/02/17 10:52:52 AM
#23636   I hear Patrick Swayze is going to be SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/02/17 10:50:04 AM
#23635   A Swede was in a pub in Norway SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/02/17 10:44:13 AM
#23634   Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/01/17 07:41:23 AM
#23633   In today's Dear Abby column a woman asked Trueheart 05/31/17 03:31:00 AM
#23632   A funny but sad story. back2basics 05/30/17 11:57:17 PM
#23631   Their socks don't look like the kind I Gmenfan 05/30/17 08:41:48 AM
#23630   Loafers!!! Gmenfan 05/30/17 08:38:47 AM
#23629   Pick- up lines - for the guys... SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/29/17 09:21:29 AM
#23628   Best pickup lines for women........ SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/29/17 09:21:10 AM
#23627   Maybe there is no though process, I know Flobewan 05/28/17 12:35:03 PM
#23626   You found the Achilles Heel! LOL! pos_stock_hoarder 05/28/17 11:47:23 AM
#23625   funny-- but how do they tie their shoes? getmoreshares 05/28/17 11:17:20 AM
#23624   It's a damned good idea! Um, pos_stock_hoarder 05/28/17 09:58:48 AM
#23623   Um...what was that number again? pos_stock_hoarder 05/28/17 09:58:04 AM
#23622   They laughing all the way to the bank! LOL! excel 05/28/17 12:17:40 AM
#23621   Although this is not a joke, I damn Flobewan 05/27/17 11:43:57 PM