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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 2/20/2017 3:58:07 PM - Followers: 565 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#23252   Hey, it's an improvement. lol mnfats 02/20/17 03:58:07 PM
#23251   I built myself up from nothing to an pos_stock_hoarder 02/20/17 03:47:01 PM
#23250   I used to be up the creek without mnfats 02/20/17 03:19:44 PM
#23249   I had a difficult time remembering names until mnfats 02/20/17 03:16:01 PM
#23248   A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel. mnfats 02/20/17 03:12:31 PM
#23247   A woman asks her husband, 'Would you like SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/20/17 11:18:28 AM
#23246   They found ksuave.. Giovanni 02/19/17 12:23:41 PM
#23245   That's pretty accurate. mnfats 02/18/17 03:54:36 PM
#23244   A teacher noticed that a little boy at SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/18/17 09:04:28 AM
#23243   A Teacher tells her class one day " SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/18/17 08:59:25 AM
#23242   A man is found out in the woods SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/18/17 08:55:46 AM
#23241   There was once a great actor who could SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/18/17 08:52:56 AM
#23240 EZ2 02/18/17 08:27:11 AM
#23239   Hey, that's a good one. mnfats 02/17/17 01:59:53 PM
#23238   Whoever first said "out of sight, out of SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/17/17 10:22:30 AM
#23237   I pulled into the Convenient Mart to get SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/17/17 10:16:17 AM
#23236   A man wrote a letter to a small excel 02/17/17 09:46:48 AM
#23235   Subject: Doug's last wishes EZ2 02/16/17 06:19:29 PM
#23234   The Soviet Union should get back together for SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/16/17 09:12:52 AM
#23233   :-) pos_stock_hoarder 02/15/17 06:58:04 PM
#23232   Home sounds like a nice place, SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/15/17 09:39:41 AM
#23231   Store owner: "Thank you for your patronage. I excel 02/15/17 08:25:02 AM
#23230's_day.jpg[/ PappaJohn 02/14/17 07:36:46 PM
#23229 pos_stock_hoarder 02/14/17 03:19:18 PM
#23228   I went to Fight Club for the 1st SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/13/17 02:33:49 PM
#23227 mnfats 02/13/17 02:13:44 PM
#23226[/char mnfats 02/13/17 02:11:04 PM
#23225   A Chinaman in Paris picks up a girl SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/11/17 10:37:36 AM
#23224   Wow, that is an interesting history lesson PappaJohn 02/10/17 08:34:25 PM
#23223   The World According to Student Bloopers devnull 02/10/17 04:40:03 PM
#23222   An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert devnull 02/10/17 04:29:22 PM
#23221   The teacher asks the class, if 3 birds SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/10/17 12:09:01 PM
#23220   My dad always lived by the motto "work SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/10/17 12:08:29 PM
#23219   A young lady was caught napping one afternoon SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/10/17 12:02:52 PM
#23218   :-) pos_stock_hoarder 02/10/17 10:35:34 AM
#23217   Had to be a woman who first coined SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/10/17 08:43:20 AM
#23216   A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/10/17 08:36:23 AM
#23215   A Marine Aviator lands on an Aircraft Carrier. SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/10/17 08:34:50 AM
#23214   A news team goes to the hills of SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/10/17 08:33:09 AM
#23213   I wouldn't say I have a lot of mnfats 02/09/17 11:19:32 AM
#23212   The husband was perusing a detailed sex manual, mnfats 02/09/17 11:18:38 AM
#23211   As I knelt down with a pair of SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/09/17 09:01:02 AM
#23210   Burn! pos_stock_hoarder 02/08/17 06:48:55 PM
#23209   Hey, thanks Larry. mnfats 02/08/17 03:26:44 PM
#23208   " Yikes .. That's a good one .. !! SkeBallLarry 02/08/17 03:07:13 PM
#23207   A retired older couple return to a Mercedes mnfats 02/08/17 02:55:20 PM
#23206   Really like that one. mnfats 02/08/17 02:53:44 PM
#23205   I had to cancel my appointment at the SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/08/17 01:32:36 PM
#23204   A woman who wanted to know how her SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/08/17 09:37:24 AM
#23203   5 year old son after reading story of SHORENUFFSTUFF 02/08/17 09:35:02 AM