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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 4/30/2016 3:36:53 PM - Followers: 564 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#22383   A preacher was telling his congregation that anything mnfats 04/30/16 03:36:53 PM
#22382   The lady walking ahead of me glanced back mnfats 04/30/16 03:29:12 PM
#22381   If you could choose between World Peace and mnfats 04/30/16 03:24:50 PM
#22380   Heck of a deal. mnfats 04/30/16 03:24:31 PM
#22379   After twelve months of revealing my soul in SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/30/16 12:39:30 PM
#22378   A man is struck by a bus... SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/30/16 10:12:11 AM
#22377   Two parents take their son on vacation and SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/30/16 10:08:44 AM
#22376   Young/old? PappaJohn 04/29/16 06:41:45 PM
#22375 PappaJohn 04/29/16 06:27:02 PM
#22374   Somebody was thinkin'......... PappaJohn 04/29/16 05:56:25 PM
#22373   It's reached the point where you can no SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/29/16 03:28:30 PM
#22372   A married couple have been stranded on a SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/29/16 09:57:39 AM
#22371   Ted & Carly: crudeoil24 04/28/16 10:42:39 PM
#22370   Garbage bins.... PappaJohn 04/28/16 09:37:30 PM
#22369   Not saying I'm special but... SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/28/16 03:27:05 PM
#22368   There once was an American Indian who had SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/28/16 03:20:17 PM
#22367   One Sunday, in counting the money in the SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/28/16 11:31:04 AM
#22366   fishing tip.......... PappaJohn 04/27/16 07:43:29 PM
#22365   With his broken hand, Sam hits a wicked mnfats 04/27/16 02:19:28 PM
#22364   Teacher to a student: "Can you think of mnfats 04/27/16 02:14:19 PM
#22363   Electric Fence SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/26/16 11:09:11 AM
#22362   Gardening SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/26/16 10:59:09 AM
#22361   LMAO!! Gmenfan 04/26/16 07:01:34 AM
#22360[fcp13062043_13657269667 PappaJohn 04/26/16 07:00:22 AM
#22359   :-) pos_stock_hoarder 04/25/16 10:14:48 PM
#22358 PappaJohn 04/25/16 04:21:26 PM
#22357   A young man wanted to purchase a gift SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/25/16 01:55:09 PM
#22356   I was in the supermarket the other day SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/25/16 11:14:09 AM
#22355   Adulthood is about being able to eat SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/25/16 09:28:18 AM
#22354   Colonel's order SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/25/16 09:21:05 AM
#22352   A husband had enough and blew his top SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/25/16 09:13:01 AM
#22351   I was in a taxi last night, and SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/24/16 12:13:07 PM
#22350   A funeral service is being held for a SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/24/16 11:09:24 AM
#22349   An 80 year old man went to Hollywood SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/24/16 11:06:09 AM
#22348   A man in a bar sees a friend SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/24/16 11:02:02 AM
#22347   A small balding man storms into a local SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/24/16 11:00:49 AM
#22346   I knew I had arrived at a great SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/23/16 01:09:54 PM
#22345   Points to ponder SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/23/16 12:58:23 PM
#22344   Things aren't always what they appear to be SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/23/16 12:54:55 PM
#22343   :-) pos_stock_hoarder 04/22/16 05:19:38 PM
#22342   Four elderly ladies decided to go to a e-ore 04/22/16 05:15:18 PM
#22341   A social worker from Chicago recently transferred to devnull 04/22/16 04:13:18 PM
#22340   Me: 911? My wife and I have been SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/22/16 09:35:01 AM
#22339   Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge. SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/22/16 09:30:22 AM
#22338   Should try this one day SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/22/16 09:28:30 AM
#22337   Point of view SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/22/16 09:26:59 AM
#22336   Don't you hate when that happens!? pos_stock_hoarder 04/21/16 10:20:44 AM
#22335   The plaintiff's lawyer calls his client to the SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/21/16 09:33:29 AM
#22334   Love this guy Jerry SHORENUFFSTUFF 04/20/16 10:03:51 AM