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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 10/22/2017 1:27:23 PM - Followers: 560 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 1

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

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#23901 excel 10/22/17 01:27:23 PM
#23900   A couple of clips, a 9mm, and a Flobewan 10/21/17 09:37:14 PM
#23899   I speak American, British, Canadian, Australian SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/21/17 08:50:06 PM
#23898   Woman Says, Man Hears SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/21/17 08:48:26 PM
#23897   The wife and I have fallen on hard SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/21/17 08:41:23 PM
#23896   A novice gardener who was looking for some mnfats 10/19/17 02:57:59 PM
#23895   One day a man hears that a distant SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/19/17 10:41:38 AM
#23894   When I lived in a dorm, one of mnfats 10/17/17 01:52:49 PM
#23893   LMBO! pos_stock_hoarder 10/17/17 10:46:02 AM
#23892   Holy crap... That's hilarious! Gmenfan 10/17/17 07:40:52 AM
#23891   LOLOLOL!!! excel 10/17/17 12:30:51 AM
#23890 PappaJohn 10/16/17 10:01:53 PM
#23889   10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/16/17 07:10:17 PM
#23888   Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/16/17 11:15:35 AM
#23887   A man is out walking his dog beside SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/16/17 11:13:17 AM
#23886   Did you hear about the new Apple gadget SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/17 10:31:49 AM
#23885   I want to make a Facebook account and Quintessence 10/13/17 04:32:35 PM
#23884   Bob Dylan's singing sounds like me insisting I'm SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/12/17 03:10:52 PM
#23883   One day in the future, Barack Obama has getmoreshares 10/11/17 03:39:07 PM
#23882   "A team of British engineers have developed a mnfats 10/11/17 01:49:33 PM
#23881   A widower who rather disliked his wife while getmoreshares 10/11/17 08:44:25 AM
#23880   A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to getmoreshares 10/07/17 05:48:56 PM
#23879   Sister Grace at the convent opened a letter getmoreshares 10/06/17 07:04:18 PM
#23878   Ambitions getmoreshares 10/06/17 07:01:36 PM
#23877   It's that wonderful time of year again… SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/05/17 12:31:51 PM
#23876 PappaJohn 10/05/17 10:10:43 AM
#23875   A man answers the phone and has the SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/05/17 09:46:16 AM
#23874   Man Laws SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/05/17 09:40:44 AM
#23873   While shopping in a food store, two nuns SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/05/17 09:34:50 AM
#23872   Smart dog! pos_stock_hoarder 10/03/17 01:08:45 PM
#23871 PappaJohn 10/03/17 11:29:20 AM
#23870   YUCK!!! getmoreshares 09/30/17 05:10:15 PM
#23869   It's that time of year. mnfats 09/30/17 04:40:07 PM
#23868 mnfats 09/30/17 04:39:02 PM
#23867   I'm glad I'm not the only one who pos_stock_hoarder 09/30/17 09:51:17 AM
#23866   That's just wrong in so many ways!!!! Gmenfan 09/30/17 09:33:42 AM
#23865   No, no, no. Say it isn't so..... PappaJohn 09/30/17 12:39:58 AM
#23864   Waiter: How did you find your steak sir? Quintessence 09/29/17 04:48:13 PM
#23863   Those were all by Steven Wright. Somehow Quintessence 09/29/17 04:44:34 PM
#23862   -I woke up one morning and all of Quintessence 09/29/17 04:11:30 PM
#23861   COP: You were going fast. mnfats 09/29/17 12:50:19 PM
#23860 mnfats 09/29/17 12:41:45 PM
#23859 mnfats 09/29/17 12:37:34 PM
#23858[ mnfats 09/29/17 12:32:37 PM
#23857   Groaner alert! pos_stock_hoarder 09/29/17 09:56:57 AM
#23856   A fire fighter is working on the engine getmoreshares 09/29/17 09:56:18 AM
#23855   My opinions might have changed... getmoreshares 09/29/17 09:30:28 AM
#23854   Teachers & Cop Stories back2basics 09/28/17 01:37:24 PM
#23853   A housewife with three young children was getting getmoreshares 09/27/17 04:27:04 PM
#23852[aticket.jpg[/im PappaJohn 09/26/17 09:56:15 PM