Home > Boards > The Lounge > Humor/Jokes >

Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

JOKES RSS Feed
      Hide Sticky   Hide Intro
Moderator: PappaJohn Assistants:
Search This Board:
Last Post: 7/31/2014 3:21:56 PM - Followers: 542 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...


Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: http://www.investorshub.com/boards/boards.asp?cat_id=123 "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.




DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

PostSubject
#20148   Speaking of Airplanes > SkeBallLarry 07/31/14 03:21:56 PM
#20147   Mary: So after several minutes of heavy making-out, mnfats 07/31/14 02:12:32 PM
#20146   When a man told his neighbor he was mnfats 07/31/14 02:10:36 PM
#20145   That's just nuts!!!!! mnfats 07/31/14 01:58:26 PM
#20144   i14.photobucket.com/albums/a324/mnfats/sun_zps4a3bd2bd.jpg mnfats 07/31/14 01:56:05 PM
#20143   I used to be a freelance journalist, SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/31/14 11:36:17 AM
#20142   Yes, I rescued a seagull, taught it karate SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/30/14 01:50:07 PM
#20141   I think semi-colons have gotten a bad rap. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/30/14 01:35:40 PM
#20140   My favorite kind of math is adding insult SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/30/14 01:29:00 PM
#20139   This sign says “IMPROV,” SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/30/14 10:05:08 AM
#20138   Hillary talks about concussion>> SkeBallLarry 07/30/14 09:14:57 AM
#20137   A bicycle can't stand on its own because SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/29/14 02:56:24 PM
#20136   WOW! SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/29/14 09:01:15 AM
#20135   When Burying a Terrorist, You Might Want to kumqwatt 07/28/14 10:05:38 PM
#20134   Quote - Woody Allen the_8th 07/28/14 10:01:13 PM
#20133   Yeah ... What's so bad about guano? Gmenfan 07/28/14 04:50:09 PM
#20132   I wonder how batshit got such a bad rap. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/28/14 04:06:04 PM
#20131   Quote - “Certainly it constitutes bad the_8th 07/28/14 04:04:28 PM
#20130   A young man looking for work decides to Gmenfan 07/28/14 02:22:32 PM
#20129   Condom Company Slogans... SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/28/14 01:15:18 PM
#20128   Group Therapy... SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/28/14 01:12:19 PM
#20127   A Girls First Time..... SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/28/14 01:10:26 PM
#20126   This woman is driving into a small town SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/28/14 01:02:50 PM
#20125   So the suicide hotline is only for prevention SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/28/14 12:12:17 PM
#20124   After his day's sightseeing, SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/28/14 11:07:41 AM
#20123   A woman has twins, SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/28/14 11:06:22 AM
#20122   That would be my luck! Gmenfan 07/28/14 06:14:38 AM
#20121   Terii > SkeBallLarry 07/28/14 05:35:39 AM
#20120   LOL! Fair is Fair! lacymarie 07/27/14 07:01:39 PM
#20119   The Hookers' Union Flobewan 07/27/14 06:37:26 PM
#20118   A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon mnfats 07/27/14 02:36:40 PM
#20117   A man and his wife were going on mnfats 07/27/14 02:28:12 PM
#20116   A woman confided to her girlfriend, "My ex-husband mnfats 07/27/14 02:26:44 PM
#20115   Everybody keeps saying that women are smarter than mnfats 07/27/14 02:25:59 PM
#20114   Way too funny!!! Thanks mnfats 07/27/14 02:04:31 PM
#20113   Thanks a lot bathroom doors SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/27/14 11:29:10 AM
#20112   A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten excel 07/26/14 03:09:13 PM
#20111   The Most Interesting Word in the English Language the_8th 07/26/14 02:13:33 PM
#20110   Political Jokes Newhampsha 07/25/14 03:12:50 PM
#20109   What happens if you drink white wine with SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/25/14 01:05:25 PM
#20108   It all started yesterday when I had to SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/25/14 12:55:02 PM
#20107   I started out with nothing SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/24/14 12:13:00 PM
#20106   My boss is so short, his hair smells SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/24/14 12:05:23 PM
#20105   The biggest difference between my wife and a SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/24/14 09:39:20 AM
#20104   My Reality Check bounced. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/22/14 02:57:25 PM
#20103   Dear optimist, pessimist and realist: Thank you SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/22/14 02:49:35 PM
#20102   Cop failed me on the sobriety test even SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/22/14 11:30:42 AM
#20101   Burt Reynolds Negotiating with God the_8th 07/21/14 11:19:43 PM
#20100   BROTHEL SUES LOCAL CHURCH OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE SkeBallLarry 07/21/14 02:31:39 PM
#20099   Are people more violently opposed to fur rather SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/21/14 02:26:12 PM
PostSubject