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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 12/21/2014 11:40:10 PM - Followers: 546 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#20593   A cute, blonde high school girl was looking Pro-Life 12/21/14 11:40:10 PM
#20592   The History of the Middle Finger: Pro-Life 12/21/14 07:08:28 PM
#20591   Seth Rogen and James Franco... SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/20/14 11:33:12 AM
#20590   A man in a bar sees a friend SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/20/14 11:09:51 AM
#20589   " LOL " .. !! SleighRidin'Larry 12/19/14 02:19:04 PM
#20588   Foster Brooks 12 Days of Christmas The 8th Enigma 12/19/14 02:05:27 PM
#20587 Flobewan 12/18/14 03:47:30 PM
#20586   The CIA had an opening for an assassin. The 8th Enigma 12/17/14 09:25:28 PM
#20585   I wonder if Magic Johnson ever regrets SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/17/14 12:29:38 PM
#20584   This Old Whorehouse The 8th Enigma 12/14/14 04:04:52 PM
#20583   I thought Alcoholics Anonymous SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/14/14 09:03:47 AM
#20582   A man is walking around the streets of mnfats 12/13/14 03:16:08 PM
#20581   In 1947 Milton Berle was one of the mnfats 12/13/14 03:13:45 PM
#20580   Boo, but funny The 8th Enigma 12/12/14 10:11:28 AM
#20579 pos_stock_hoarder 12/12/14 09:46:58 AM
#20578   Sad & unbelievable. excel 12/11/14 09:48:07 PM
#20577   The government response (the bastards laughing) sum it pos_stock_hoarder 12/11/14 08:00:15 PM
#20576   Sad isn't it Flobewan 12/11/14 07:56:46 PM
#20575   That's no joke! LOL! excel 12/11/14 07:55:26 PM
#20574   Now that's funny ... true and sad yet funny!! Gmenfan 12/11/14 05:11:42 PM
#20573   Rusty Humphries: Sneakin’ In To The USA Flobewan 12/11/14 04:53:11 PM
#20572   .... I used to spend money....... SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/10/14 01:48:26 PM
#20571   Lol ~Angel~ 12/10/14 01:42:09 PM
#20570   Finally, a Really-Good reason for delivery by Drone-aircraft! backtrax 12/09/14 12:00:17 PM
#20569 pos_stock_hoarder 12/08/14 10:16:06 AM
#20568   hoarder, too true. I always thought women's The 8th Enigma 12/08/14 08:31:30 AM
#20567   He's the man! pos_stock_hoarder 12/07/14 10:54:20 PM
#20566   I thought "good humor" was ice cream... illegal_alias 12/07/14 10:42:43 PM
#20565   A prisoner on death row is about to SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/06/14 12:05:42 PM
#20564   The best story of the year doesn't give SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/06/14 12:04:09 PM
#20563   Sweet old couple, both well into their 70's, Losha 12/05/14 12:36:35 PM
#20562   Since the release of Viagra, exotic dancers now SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/04/14 02:54:09 PM
#20561   Answer: Tennis Balls SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/04/14 02:38:46 PM
#20560   I have always questioned if Jessie Jackson and SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/04/14 01:27:14 PM
#20559   Jeff Dunham Achmed's(The dead terrorist)"Jingle Bombs" The 8th Enigma 12/04/14 12:38:50 PM
#20558   >>>> Olaf Swenson, out in his pasture in The 8th Enigma 12/02/14 12:12:17 AM
#20557   Little Shrunkin sings the blues. Losha 12/01/14 02:24:44 PM
#20556   Be sober for this The 8th Enigma 12/01/14 09:21:30 AM
#20555   A little know fact: SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/30/14 11:46:09 AM
#20554   In my opinion - until they add extra SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/30/14 11:20:30 AM
#20553   I put a dart board on the ceiling SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/30/14 11:11:22 AM
#20552   My neighbour has diabetes SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/29/14 11:31:53 AM
#20551 pos_stock_hoarder 11/28/14 03:20:04 PM
#20550   Rookie cop SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/28/14 01:06:16 PM
#20549   History of the first Thanksgiving The 8th Enigma 11/27/14 09:24:28 PM
#20548   LMAO----- The 8th Enigma 11/27/14 09:23:00 PM
#20547[sdlBBQ_Grill.JP Flobewan 11/27/14 02:33:50 PM
#20546   Worst Native American Name, Ever...... SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/27/14 11:36:07 AM
#20545   Happy Thanksgiving! Stay Warm :) PENNYBUSTER 11/27/14 10:40:01 AM
#20544[nsesame.jpg[/im PappaJohn 11/27/14 10:03:43 AM