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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 8/21/2017 10:31:03 PM - Followers: 563 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#23774   "No, but my sister has.” back2basics 08/21/17 10:31:03 PM
#23773   A guy goes to the Post Office to e-ore 08/21/17 02:13:08 PM
#23772   A priest dies and is waiting in line e-ore 08/21/17 02:11:32 PM
#23771   An engineer dies . . and goes to e-ore 08/21/17 02:09:03 PM
#23770   I live in such a small town..................... SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/21/17 08:30:37 AM
#23769   Frank was getting ready to go on a SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/21/17 08:12:11 AM
#23768   Little Johnny was caught swearing by his teacher. getmoreshares 08/20/17 12:07:02 PM
#23767   Glass takes one million years to decompose, which SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/20/17 09:20:37 AM
#23766 mnfats 08/19/17 03:09:40 PM
#23765 mnfats 08/19/17 03:05:57 PM
#23764   Phil had just returned from his honeymoon and mnfats 08/19/17 02:49:36 PM
#23763   Sister Margaret was a model nun all of getmoreshares 08/19/17 11:57:21 AM
#23762   Amoeba: "Dad, how was I made?" SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/19/17 10:20:07 AM
#23760   An older man was married to a younger SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/19/17 10:07:45 AM
#23759   Do you think I'm a bad mommy, Jimmy? mnfats 08/17/17 03:47:01 PM
#23758   Two men were sitting at a bar recounting mnfats 08/17/17 03:44:54 PM
#23757   HARR!!!! ONEBGG 08/17/17 03:29:40 PM
#23756   I rode to the liquor store yesterday on SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/17/17 12:43:36 PM
#23755   "Gonna need you to finish your story real back2basics 08/16/17 05:41:03 PM
#23754   Gym employee: Sorry sir, but… SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/16/17 08:29:05 AM
#23753 mnfats 08/15/17 02:25:00 PM
#23752   Good one. SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/13/17 10:55:41 AM
#23751   Tim Wilson (raunchy but funny) > SkeBallLarry 08/13/17 10:43:05 AM
#23750   My 9-year-old nephew showed me with pride the SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/12/17 10:06:02 AM
#23749   I went out to see a movie last SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/12/17 10:02:13 AM
#23748   On a flight to Florida, I was preparing Quintessence 08/11/17 04:33:14 PM
#23747   Sister Marry was truly a religious woman. Besides Quintessence 08/11/17 04:02:45 PM
#23746   A father texts his son: "My dear son, getmoreshares 08/10/17 04:16:09 PM
#23745   The Pastor entered his donkey in a race e-ore 08/09/17 03:24:51 PM
#23744   If there's H2O on the inside of a SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/07/17 03:17:51 PM
#23743   A nursery school teacher was delivering a station SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/07/17 03:12:13 PM
#23742   Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/07/17 03:10:42 PM
#23741   An elderly couple were driving across the country. getmoreshares 08/07/17 10:48:08 AM
#23740   A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting SkeBallLarry 08/07/17 10:46:21 AM
#23739   After having a beer, the customer asks...... SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/07/17 05:28:22 AM
#23738   Department of the Navy is now assigning females SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/07/17 05:17:59 AM
#23737   A guy went into a bar and tried SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/05/17 10:04:09 AM
#23736   My wife told me to stop acting like SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/05/17 10:02:11 AM
#23735   A pirate walked into a bar SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/05/17 09:58:01 AM
#23734   A woman called our airline's customer-service desk asking Quintessence 08/04/17 04:53:56 PM
#23733   Drank two Monster Energy drinks and started my SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/04/17 09:20:16 AM
#23732   My wife hates the sight of me when SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/01/17 01:15:50 PM
#23731   A fellow in a bar notices a woman, SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/01/17 01:12:28 PM
#23730   Ethnic jokes are funny, but SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/01/17 01:12:00 PM
#23729   HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT basserdan 08/01/17 11:56:19 AM
#23728   Tom Brady super bowl victory Feb 2017 Giovanni 08/01/17 11:22:11 AM
#23727   Giovanni, if you liked the Yankees or just back2basics 08/01/17 12:08:40 AM
#23726   I watched that game! Giovanni 07/31/17 10:28:45 PM
#23725   "If I ever get taken in for questioning, back2basics 07/31/17 10:23:11 PM
#23724   I've never been introduced when entering a room. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/31/17 12:47:44 PM