Home > Boards > The Lounge > Humor/Jokes >

Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

JOKES RSS Feed
      Hide Sticky   Hide Intro
Moderator: PappaJohn Assistants:
Search This Board:
Last Post: 5/18/2013 5:25:42 PM - Followers: 530 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...


Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: http://www.investorshub.com/boards/boards.asp?cat_id=123 "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.




DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

PostSubject
#17249   TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET acc724 05/18/13 05:25:42 PM
#17248   had to share this one--you will say OH CRAP acc724 05/18/13 05:23:08 PM
#17247   In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, mnfats 05/18/13 02:09:11 PM
#17246   The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted mnfats 05/18/13 02:06:17 PM
#17245   Olga and Olie were applying for a wedding mnfats 05/18/13 02:01:08 PM
#17243   After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student mnfats 05/17/13 01:45:04 PM
#17242   He frantically calls hotel management from his hotel mnfats 05/17/13 12:20:49 PM
#17241   ain't it the truth! pos_stock_hoarder 05/16/13 06:44:41 PM
#17240   A very good point. mnfats 05/16/13 12:35:04 PM
#17239   ....Unh, Fats,... backtrax 05/16/13 12:28:09 PM
#17238   A-Yup. backtrax 05/16/13 12:15:06 PM
#17237   i14.photobucket.com/albums/a324/mnfats/a912_zps469ab609.jpg mnfats 05/16/13 12:00:17 PM
#17236   This one explains some things we all probably suspected. Newhampsha 05/16/13 11:32:40 AM
#17235   i14.photobucket.com/albums/a324/mnfats/225638_361463313953527_1418450908_ mnfats 05/16/13 11:30:01 AM
#17234   she's yer girl. You posted her. LOL Newhampsha 05/16/13 09:02:58 AM
#17233   well the headrest may work but it could Doubloon 05/16/13 08:58:55 AM
#17232   Well, he won't get whiplash with that "headrest". Newhampsha 05/16/13 08:44:24 AM
#17231   OMG Doubloon 05/16/13 08:32:54 AM
#17230   thanks trax acc724 05/15/13 07:57:23 PM
#17229   ...i was looking,... backtrax 05/15/13 06:42:36 PM
#17228   ...Only 'cause the Goveymint already knows where you backtrax 05/15/13 06:40:00 PM
#17227   Erotic is using a battery-powered vibrator... backtrax 05/15/13 06:27:28 PM
#17226   http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/firefighters-rescue-cop-tree-trying-rescue- Flobewan 05/14/13 05:06:40 PM
#17225   Bud Lite Newhampsha 05/14/13 03:50:13 PM
#17224   Here is an actual sign posted at a acc724 05/14/13 03:07:51 PM
#17223   In parochial school students are taught that lying Newhampsha 05/14/13 02:28:59 PM
#17222   thanks for the history lesson..good read acc724 05/14/13 10:23:12 AM
#17221   Manure... An interesting fact 02opida 05/14/13 08:40:47 AM
#17220   Very nice! pos_stock_hoarder 05/12/13 10:04:54 AM
#17219   images.investorshub.advfn.com/images/uploads/2013/5/12/kofbomom.jpg PappaJohn 05/12/13 09:59:26 AM
#17218   hi lacy..happy mom's day to u and all acc724 05/12/13 09:43:11 AM
#17217   LOL!! someone ban this guy! lacymarie 05/11/13 08:35:03 PM
#17216   This guy just started at his new job, acc724 05/11/13 07:52:35 PM
#17215   Word started getting out about Snow White's mirror acc724 05/11/13 07:50:37 PM
#17214   Gawkers cannot believe shape of Chinese newspaper’s sizable HEADquarters basserdan 05/11/13 04:43:21 PM
#17213   I love that, and have watched it many Flobewan 05/10/13 05:24:54 PM
#17212   A few months ago, there was a popular PMS Witch 05/10/13 05:12:56 PM
#17211   I live about 40 miles from Seattle which excel 05/10/13 04:34:24 PM
#17210   A preacher was walking down the street when acc724 05/10/13 04:29:12 PM
#17209   LMAO, I'm gonna pass that one on Flobewan 05/10/13 11:53:34 AM
#17208   I stopped by the Chevrolet Dealership in Seattle Newhampsha 05/10/13 11:52:07 AM
#17207   Herd those cows, LOL Flobewan 05/10/13 10:54:26 AM
#17206   Element name: WOMAN. Newhampsha 05/10/13 08:55:02 AM
#17205   Subject: 4 Retirees Visit A Bar Newhampsha 05/10/13 07:34:37 AM
#17204   A man met a beautiful lady and he SHORENUFFSTUFF 05/10/13 07:05:41 AM
#17203   Subject: Man/Woman Discussion Newhampsha 05/10/13 06:19:40 AM
#17202   Snow all gone now. Temps are in mnfats 05/09/13 12:39:27 PM
#17201   yep acc724 05/09/13 12:30:31 PM
#17200   You talking to me? mnfats 05/09/13 12:29:21 PM
#17199   A redneck was sued by a woman for mnfats 05/09/13 11:29:17 AM
PostSubject