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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 12/13/2017 11:18:28 PM - Followers: 558 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

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#24010   A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the crudeoil24 12/13/17 11:18:28 PM
#24009   A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving mnfats 12/12/17 04:03:22 PM
#24008   THERAPIST: As a young boy, did your mother SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/12/17 02:35:53 PM
#24007[/chart mnfats 12/12/17 02:06:38 PM
#24006   I hate when I do that! :-D pos_stock_hoarder 12/12/17 12:08:45 PM
#24005   Last Christmas, Grandpa was feeling his age and excel 12/12/17 09:59:24 AM
#24004   An old couple were sitting on the porch getmoreshares 12/11/17 12:20:51 PM
#24003   Rules for being a man: SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/11/17 11:22:42 AM
#24002   An old gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. e-ore 12/10/17 04:10:38 PM
#24001   A cab driver picks up a nun, then e-ore 12/09/17 03:41:12 PM
#24000   Two drunks are in a bar when one mnfats 12/09/17 03:15:08 PM
#23999   Completing his examination of the uncommonly well-built, beautiful mnfats 12/09/17 03:13:37 PM
#23998   Liked those last two a lot! LOL! pos_stock_hoarder 12/08/17 01:50:17 PM
#23997   My wife whispered in my ear today that SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/08/17 12:09:08 PM
#23996   Oh, I didn’t expect you at work today SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/08/17 12:04:41 PM
#23995   “How did it happen?” the doctor asked the SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/08/17 12:02:35 PM
#23994   I'm glad you lived to tell the tale pos_stock_hoarder 12/07/17 01:02:10 PM
#23993   A True Story From Life. back2basics 12/07/17 12:39:05 PM
#23992   We went to a very authentic Mexican restaurant SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/07/17 10:20:15 AM
#23991   As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, excel 12/06/17 01:24:13 AM
#23990   A man went to his lawyer and asked mnfats 12/04/17 03:43:03 PM
#23989   College meals are generally unpopular with those who mnfats 12/04/17 03:39:45 PM
#23988   My friend Harry died the other day when SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/03/17 10:09:56 AM
#23987   The fiercest animal in the whole jungle... SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/03/17 10:07:09 AM
#23986   Golfing with my lady SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/03/17 10:05:29 AM
#23985   Once upon a time, there lived a man Quintessence 12/01/17 04:24:03 PM
#23984   Guys if you are into a girl… SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/30/17 01:33:05 PM
#23983   LOLOL Seminole Red 11/30/17 08:01:40 AM
#23982   LMAO!!! Gmenfan 11/30/17 07:55:05 AM
#23981 mnfats 11/29/17 03:11:27 PM
#23980   I want one, maybe two. mnfats 11/29/17 03:08:36 PM
#23979   I just posted a selfie and people told SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/29/17 02:19:54 PM
#23978   :-D pos_stock_hoarder 11/28/17 08:51:17 AM
#23977   Moo... PappaJohn 11/27/17 10:01:50 PM
#23976 PappaJohn 11/27/17 07:18:33 PM
#23975   SON OF A BITCH TOOL: Any handy tool getmoreshares 11/27/17 04:13:06 PM
#23974   Tools Defined: SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/27/17 02:30:30 PM
#23973   To maximize horsepower on the highway, switch from SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/26/17 09:40:28 PM
#23972   A ninety-five-year-old man went to the doctor SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/26/17 09:36:50 PM
#23971   A robber held up a stagecoach in the SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/26/17 09:35:34 PM
#23970 PappaJohn 11/26/17 04:44:48 PM
#23969   Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was Giovanni 11/26/17 10:25:30 AM
#23968   Elmer's going to finally get the best of Bugs. mnfats 11/25/17 03:02:03 PM
#23967[/char mnfats 11/25/17 02:59:23 PM
#23966   Steph was telling her boyfriend, Jeff "According to mnfats 11/25/17 02:44:32 PM
#23965   I can understand why men don't like vasectomies. mnfats 11/25/17 02:29:30 PM
#23964   A customer walks into a restaurant and notices SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/24/17 09:39:36 AM
#23963   PERFECT!! But really "who cares" should have been added! getmoreshares 11/22/17 08:48:25 PM
#23962   Not to brag but... SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/22/17 11:55:55 AM
#23961   Walk With Me While I Age nwsailor 11/22/17 10:11:19 AM