SureTrader SureTrader
Home > Boards > The Lounge > Humor/Jokes >

Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

      Hide Sticky   Hide Intro
Moderator: PappaJohn Assistants:
Search This Board:
Last Post: 9/24/2016 2:58:22 PM - Followers: 563 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#22860   he customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased mnfats 09/24/16 02:58:22 PM
#22859   Take it from me, wrinkle cream doesn't work. mnfats 09/24/16 02:55:30 PM
#22858   PTL! Good one! pos_stock_hoarder 09/23/16 11:23:08 PM
#22857   LOL! excel 09/23/16 06:19:27 PM
#22856[/im PappaJohn 09/23/16 06:16:54 PM
#22855   Reaching the end of a job interview, the excel 09/23/16 11:51:23 AM
#22854   What's with tech co's & medicine of late? SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/22/16 12:51:45 PM
#22853   I thought I saw an octopus but it SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/20/16 02:03:26 PM
#22852   Old men beware! bobkubecka 09/19/16 02:45:02 PM
#22851   During Army basic trainee at Fort Knox, one mnfats 09/17/16 02:43:40 PM
#22850   The first lady was on a tour of SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/17/16 10:32:12 AM
#22849   Things that are difficult to say when drunk: SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/17/16 10:23:56 AM
#22848   A guy with a black eye boards his SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/17/16 10:22:34 AM
#22847   LOL....made me chuckle!!!!...:-) TTT 09/16/16 10:56:07 PM
#22846   I always bring my own reusable shopping bag mnfats 09/16/16 12:39:40 PM
#22845   " LOL " .. !! SkeBallLarry 09/16/16 08:38:43 AM
#22844   Want to hear something weird? Last week while SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/16/16 08:35:57 AM
#22843   I liked it. Friendly advice: this pos_stock_hoarder 09/15/16 10:26:48 PM
#22842   Ha, that is the best Samsung joke yet. PappaJohn 09/15/16 09:40:40 PM
#22841   My dentist goes out with a manicurist. SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/15/16 11:48:54 AM
#22840 pos_stock_hoarder 09/15/16 09:15:47 AM
#22839   You made an imprint on my heart like SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/14/16 10:45:22 AM
#22838   In an effort to determine the top crime SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/14/16 10:30:14 AM
#22837   Good one! pos_stock_hoarder 09/13/16 01:03:02 PM
#22836   I like it. Gmenfan 09/13/16 12:01:05 PM
#22835   Hillary stumbles into a bar. SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/13/16 11:51:38 AM
#22834   LOL! PappaJohn 09/11/16 09:42:45 AM
#22833   An Irishman's first drink with his son SkeBallLarry 09/11/16 05:17:04 AM
#22832   A guy is standing at a urinal when SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/10/16 09:58:57 PM
#22831   I was in a restaurant yesterday when I devnull 09/09/16 04:16:56 PM
#22830   A man was driving along the highway, and devnull 09/09/16 04:06:19 PM
#22828   An elderly parish priest was tending his garden mnfats 09/08/16 12:45:00 PM
#22827   A computer DOES save time at work. Now mnfats 09/08/16 12:43:37 PM
#22826   Good one! pos_stock_hoarder 09/07/16 09:02:12 AM
#22825   A man scolded his son for being so excel 09/07/16 08:03:16 AM
#22824   Whatever you may look like, marry a man SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/06/16 09:49:30 AM
#22823   A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/06/16 09:46:27 AM
#22822   Momma didn't raise no fool. SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/06/16 09:44:31 AM
#22821 PappaJohn 09/05/16 06:41:22 PM
#22820   Good one! pos_stock_hoarder 09/05/16 11:43:20 AM
#22819   I told my son, " I want you SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/05/16 09:23:00 AM
#22818 PappaJohn 09/04/16 05:15:22 PM
#22817 mnfats 09/04/16 03:39:00 PM
#22816   Here is one for you. Common sense over SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/31/16 02:42:16 PM
#22815   My eyesight and hearing are good... SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/31/16 09:56:02 AM
#22814   Some lady on The Price is Right just SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/31/16 09:51:13 AM
#22813   Pasta had not been invented. It was macaroni 02opida 08/31/16 08:05:00 AM
#22812   Recruiter: "What are your best qualities?" SHORENUFFSTUFF 08/30/16 12:46:43 PM
#22811 PappaJohn 08/29/16 10:59:02 PM