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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 3/22/2017 11:46:38 AM - Followers: 565 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#23389   I'm getting pissed off with my new psychiatrist. SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/22/17 11:46:38 AM
#23388   This truck driver sits down in a diner SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/22/17 09:35:28 AM
#23387   One morning a young man at his first SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/22/17 09:33:49 AM
#23386   Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/22/17 09:26:53 AM
#23385   It must've been tough being a magician in SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/21/17 09:00:00 AM
#23384   I'm not fond of taking prescription medication. Exercise, SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/21/17 08:55:27 AM
#23383   A soldier ran up to a nun. Out SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/21/17 08:51:30 AM
#23382   Me: Wanna have a quickie? SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/20/17 02:45:15 PM
#23381   When people tell me to get my act SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/20/17 02:38:01 PM
#23380   Back in my day, we didn't have water. SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/20/17 08:40:18 AM
#23379   You too, buddy! pos_stock_hoarder 03/19/17 07:30:37 PM
#23378   Hi POS...I'll drink to that! Been away Gmenfan 03/19/17 07:29:11 PM
#23377   LMAO! HIc! pos_stock_hoarder 03/19/17 07:26:50 PM
#23376   A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland Gmenfan 03/19/17 07:21:44 PM
#23375   Classic! pos_stock_hoarder 03/19/17 10:12:47 AM
#23374   Poor guy SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/18/17 09:45:38 PM
#23373   Golf Ethics Question SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/18/17 09:43:29 PM
#23372   "Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/18/17 09:41:14 PM
#23371   To my darling wife....... SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/18/17 07:52:08 PM
#23370   A man and a woman were having dinner....... SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/18/17 07:50:23 PM
#23369   A couple just got married, and when the mnfats 03/18/17 04:13:45 PM
#23368   Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity. mnfats 03/18/17 04:10:22 PM
#23367   Becky was lying on her death bed in mnfats 03/18/17 04:08:29 PM
#23366   Boys night out PappaJohn 03/18/17 03:35:07 PM
#23365   Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to Giovanni 03/18/17 01:02:43 PM
#23364 mnfats 03/17/17 04:33:01 PM
#23363   The class assignment in composition was to write mnfats 03/17/17 04:18:26 PM
#23362 mnfats 03/17/17 03:44:01 PM
#23361   An old geezer who was a retired farmer excel 03/17/17 09:32:40 AM
#23359   A guy goes to his doctor and says: SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/16/17 03:58:52 PM
#23358   A boss was educating an employee........ SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/16/17 03:57:04 PM
#23357   A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/16/17 03:52:11 PM
#23356   I phoned my local radio station today. SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/16/17 03:51:19 PM
#23355   I was in the bar with my buddy SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/16/17 03:49:46 PM
#23354 mnfats 03/16/17 03:22:16 PM
#23353   Grandpa and I shop at the same store. mnfats 03/16/17 03:17:51 PM
#23352   Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/16/17 10:48:58 AM
#23351   My dentist reminded me about my wife’s sensitive SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/16/17 10:48:46 AM
#23350   There was this ancient story teller... SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/15/17 09:53:23 PM
#23349   The Pope in Alaska 02opida 03/15/17 09:30:49 AM
#23348   " LOL " .. !! SkeBallLarry 03/15/17 09:10:16 AM
#23347   Bob was sitting on the plane at Cleveland SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/15/17 09:07:43 AM
#23346   My wife just found out that she was SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/15/17 09:07:20 AM
#23345   The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/14/17 10:42:28 AM
#23344   TRUMP’S NEW HEALTH PLAN – DOCTORS REACT….. PappaJohn 03/13/17 08:44:02 PM
#23343   Looks about right...... PappaJohn 03/13/17 06:23:15 PM
#23342   A guy goes into the confessional booth after SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/13/17 05:15:49 PM
#23341   Attempted theft of my motorcycle. SHORENUFFSTUFF 03/13/17 01:35:04 PM
#23340   I don't know whether to laugh or cry excel 03/12/17 11:17:03 PM