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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 1/17/2017 9:30:20 PM - Followers: 566 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#23145   Financial planning..... crudeoil24 01/17/17 09:30:20 PM
#23144   Thanks for this fine public service. Especially pos_stock_hoarder 01/17/17 11:38:03 AM
#23143   Valentine's Day is coming. Husbands be prepared SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/17/17 10:00:50 AM
#23142   A late 70s couple go into a divorce back2basics 01/16/17 11:17:21 PM
#23141   One of these is not like the others SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/16/17 01:52:02 PM
#23140   A guy brings his best golf buddy home, SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/16/17 01:49:04 PM
#23139   A woman went to a lawyer to discuss SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/16/17 11:30:27 AM
#23138   Lena and Ole went on a cruise, to back2basics 01/15/17 02:41:02 PM
#23137   If God had meant us to run around back2basics 01/15/17 02:25:15 PM
#23136   An elderly man lay dying in his bed. SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/15/17 01:55:32 PM
#23135   A well-worn one dollar bill and a similarly SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/15/17 11:01:22 AM
#23134   Ole died SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/15/17 11:00:07 AM
#23133   If God had meant for them to be SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/15/17 10:59:14 AM
#23132   Kid: Dad, what does ironic mean? SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/17 09:58:52 AM
#23131   A father put his three year old daughter SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/17 09:49:35 AM
#23130   A guy walks into a bar and sees SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/17 09:45:51 AM
#23129   " LOL " .. !! SkeBallLarry 01/14/17 09:32:05 AM
#23128   Three Englishman go into a Pub SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/17 09:30:49 AM
#23127   A rottweiler, pit bull, and chihuahua were working SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/17 09:26:04 AM
#23126   The teacher asked the class to use the SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/17 09:21:35 AM
#23125   Not a joke, but you'll laugh at this: ciciagt 01/13/17 08:05:13 PM
#23124   Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital devnull 01/13/17 04:15:30 PM
#23123   A guy bursts into a flower shop. excel 01/13/17 07:32:49 AM
#23122 mnfats 01/12/17 03:22:28 PM
#23121 mnfats 01/12/17 03:18:44 PM
#23120 mnfats 01/12/17 03:12:32 PM
#23119 mnfats 01/12/17 03:08:04 PM
#23118   As she sat by him, he whispered, his SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/09/17 08:02:41 AM
#23117   He Calls the Bank After They Charge His excel 01/08/17 05:49:24 PM
#23116 pos_stock_hoarder 01/08/17 01:29:40 PM
#23115   The Deaf Italian Bookkeeper back2basics 01/08/17 01:13:40 PM
#23114   Lets put it this way. Trump is the excel 01/06/17 07:57:50 PM
#23113   Isn't she sweet? pos_stock_hoarder 01/06/17 07:31:21 PM
#23112   Should we add this one? excel 01/06/17 06:07:27 PM
#23111   Should you add this one? tortradr 01/06/17 04:23:03 PM
#23110   The most thoughtful presidential quotes. SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/06/17 12:26:01 PM
#23109   If I went back to high school knowing SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/06/17 09:19:58 AM
#23108   Friend showed me all the pics taken from SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/04/17 11:32:24 AM
#23107   Family Board Game SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/04/17 11:21:52 AM
#23106   Obama, not feeling well and concerned about his EZ2 01/04/17 10:03:36 AM
#23105   Same to you, SHORENUF! What a great back2basics 01/03/17 10:36:48 AM
#23104   " THAT is beautiful, ShoNuff " .. !! SkeBallLarry 01/02/17 10:07:16 AM
#23103   New Year Wishes SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/02/17 09:47:45 AM
#23102   Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/02/17 09:45:14 AM
#23101   LOL!!!!!! I'm not an alcoholic........................... TTT 01/01/17 12:42:50 AM
#23100   I bought a book called "Beating Addiction" SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/31/16 12:57:24 PM
#23099   Thanks for the smiles. A great way back2basics 12/31/16 10:55:07 AM
#23098   If you lift up the handle on the SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/31/16 09:29:13 AM
#23097   It was very cold last night and my SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/30/16 12:10:15 PM
#23096   Bob walks into a bar and takes a SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/30/16 12:07:35 PM