Chartex. You opened Pandor's box. Just a few more.
After 50 years, I've learned the following:
1. Wives were put on this earth mainly to turn the lights on. Especially those 5 lights near the washer/dryer in the basement, which makes them more comfortable, even after they leave for the day. "I leave them on, so I won't have to pull the string when I go back." If you want to start an argument, tell her that's why the electric is $150 a month for two people, and she'll tell you Edison said they cost little or nothing. "They should know. After all, they provide the electricity".
2. Wives are very mechanical. When it's too hot in the car, they turn the heater completely off. Moving the higher/lower controls is far too complex. And if one button doesn't work immediately, they push every one of them until something happens that sounds right.
3. Wives are also very light eaters. When you take them to dinner, they order a $5.00 salad, while you order an $18 steak. The rest of the $70 bill is for wine, and a generous tip for that "nice waiter".
4. Wives loves to run the legs off the wait staff. After bringing olive oil and parmesan cheese for dipping, "I'd like a glass of water, lemon, no ice, please". After the water, "our bread is running low". After the bread, "Could we have another plate. We'd like to split the salad."
5. When dining on Mexican, "I'd like a frozen margarita, not too sour, not too sweet, not out of the machine, lots of limes, salt, triple sek, top-of-the-line Cuervo, mixed by hand please. . . I think it's called a Cadillac." And when the margarita is served, "This is just not right!". Four "trial" drinks later, "Thanks. I guess this will just have to do. My husband has already finished his dinner".
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