I here what you're saying, but what we're doing now is NOT counterproductive, no way, no how. It comes at a great cost yes, and it might not reach the complete goal, but it definitely will succeed at some things, major things.
Doing nothing, or even not doing everything we can do, would be the most idiotic thing imaginable. Would just be accessory to it all.
It would also be the most irrational and irresponsible thing to do. As far as the emotional aspect, there has to be some and always is, that's human. Ones that are lacking in that department, are people like Putin. But it is logical, moral, and smart to do what we can.