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A marriage is a commitment. A lifelong commitment.

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shajandr Member Profile
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shajandr   Monday, 05/03/21 08:51:32 PM
Re: 1manband post# 185937
Post # of 186113 
A marriage is a commitment. A lifelong commitment. If nott, then one ought nott gett married. IF people change, and they do, a marriage requires them to adapt, something humans are exceptionally good at, to each others changes.

One is usually nott forced to marry - it is a voluntary choice. One chooses to make a lifelong commitment, for richer or poorer better or worse.

Many animal species are monogamous and monogamous for life. If one bird loses its feathers or can no longer fly, the mate stays with hem and helps. It is a commitment. Change does nott change the commitment.

I did nott lose my commitment to my parents when they changed and became old and later very ill. Nor has DaSquaw. These are obligations we have to each other - parent-child and spousal. the obligation does nott change because people change, as they inevitably do.

This is particularly true when children are involved. I give (and gave) Billy and Melissa credit for that.

And whilst they have the right to release each other from their marital obligation, it is a failure on both their parts to have reached that point. It is a personal failure and a failure of their will, individually and jointly. They have failed each other. Or perhaps only one failed - we cannot assess that from our limited perspective.

In both sides of my familial lineage - maternal and paternal - there is only one divorce; my dad's from his post-WW2 return to DaWhirled quicky bride - who was a very badd choice - and who divorced him because she was banging another dude - who she later married and who was a CONvicted murderer and later returned to prison where he eventually died in old age. My dad did nott want the divorce because they had three small children he did not want to damage. She divorced him and also denied him visitation. He was willing to live as a cuckold just for the sake of he kids. He brought Christmas presents for them every year and had an intermediary deliver them from Santa which was the only way they could gett to the kiddz.

In DaSquaw's fambly - on both sides - and it is a very LARGE fambly on DaMomInLaw's side - there has never been an instance of divorce. Nott one.

This is nott a statistical aberration only - it is nott chance - it is because of both our famblies having a culture of commitment. No, nott to mental institutions, butt to promises. My excellent cousins all - every one - keep close track and support of my very elderly uncles and aunts. If any of them tell me they will do something, they follow thru. Same with OrthoBuddy - every commitment is kept. If OrhBuddy or hs fambly members are in a tuff spott, as they have been in the past, i am there in an instant - literally I have dropped everything and driven long distances when they had a problem. OrthoBuddy would do the same for me - I know that. It is commitment. I chose and choose my frenns and spouse based on their sharing this value. And I am very careful in my choices.

It is a belief system. It is a culture. It is nott random. You choose nott to fail. You find a way to make it succeed. I am an atheist (indeed an evangelical atheist) - there is no fear of a vengeful deity to enforce my marital promise - only my ethics that the commitment I made to DaSquaw will knott be broken. For richer, poorer, sickness, health, better, or worser. That is in fact the ENTIRE point of marriage. It is nott for COnvenience. If you cannot stand by that commitment, then don't gett married - just date for as long as you want - don't have kiddz. That is totally fine - nothing wronGGG with that. Butt don't make lifetime commitments and then break them when it is no longer CONvenient for you. Same with having a pet. When the pet gets old and sick, you don't dump them from your car in the middle of nowhere - you have an obligation to them.

Billy and Melinda have tens of billions of Dollars, butt they are both failures IMO.

In my view, this interpersonal relationship and family thing is he entire point of life itself. Munny does knott matter - material things do knott matter. Only fambly and frenns matter. That's it. And that is ALL there is. If you don't have that, then IMO you are truly poor - in the only sense that has any real value at all.

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