Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

Smart Ass Answers

6. It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked
John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John
asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

5. A flight attendant was stationed at the departure
gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she
extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat,
she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub."

4. A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough
for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these
turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No
ma'am, they're dead."

3. The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've
been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The
kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I
could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he
sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

2. A truck driver was driving along on the f reeway. A
sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of
him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes
up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the
truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was
delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Best Smart Ass Answer:

1. A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it,
no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the
back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire
class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When
silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at
the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well,
I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand.