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We shouldn't believe any rumors of PR's or news until they actually are published. Talk is cheap, rumors are expensive. No one here can say what is going to happen for sure. Just remember that you do not know anything more than the rest of us and if you did, I hope you're smart enough NOT to share it.....lol. Rumors, lies and rumors of lies.......that is mostly what gets you in trouble with pinkies, don't trust no one, and verify everything twice........
This stock has been one hell of a roller coaster ride, Good luck to all.
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says?
No crap, really? Ya think?
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
_____________________________
?
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
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Enfield (London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
---------------- ---------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
******************************
Local High School DropoutsCut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
***************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************************************
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?***************************************************
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!
This is too true to be funny.
The next time you hear a politician use the
Word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the 'politicians' spending
YOUR tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
But one advertising agency did a good job of
Putting that figure into some perspective in
One of its releases.
A.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were
living in the Stone Age.
D.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
E.
A billion dollars ago was only
8 hours and 20 minutes,
at the rate our government
is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain...
let's take a look at New Orleans ...
It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.
Louisiana Senator,
Mary Landrieu (D)
was asking Congress for
250 BILLION DOLLARS
To rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number...
What does it mean?
A.
Well .. If you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans
(every man, woman and child)
You eachget$516,528
B.
Or... If you have one of the 188,251 homes in
New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.
C.
Or... If you are a family of four...
Your family gets$2,066,012.
Washington , D.C
HELLO!
Are all your calculators broken??
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax (Fed)
Federal Unemployment Tax (FU TA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge Taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurringCharges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage ChargeTax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
(And to think, we left British Rule to avoid so many taxes)
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
And our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt...
We had the largest middle class in the world...
And Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What happened?
Can you spell
'politicians'!
And I still have to
Press '1'
For English.
I hope this goes around the
USA
At
least 100 times
What in the world happened?????
This IS what will happen when we are forced to work after age 80.
Why I Like Retirement !!!
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep in the recliner.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done. Very true
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount. Sometime 15%
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS! So true
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
And, my very favorite....
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
SERENITY
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied...
'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented..
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?' the reporter asked..
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing about being senile is
you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them.
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.
'Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff
in my shopping cart says,
'For fast relief.'
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.
Paddy and Mick were walking along a street in London .
Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye.
The sign read, "Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, trousers £2.50 per pair".
Paddy said to his pal, "Mick, look at the prices! We could buy a whole
lot of dose and when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune.
Now when we go in you stay quiet, okay? Let me do all da talking cause
if they hear our accents, they might think were thickos from Ireland
and try to screw us. I'll put on my best English accent".
"Roight y'are Paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will. You do all da
business" said Mick.
They go in and Paddy said in a posh voice, "Hello my good man. I'll
take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £2.00 each, and 50 pairs of
trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up me truck ready to load em on, so I
will."
The owner of the shop said quietly, "You're from Ireland , aren't you?"
"Well yes," said a surprised Paddy. "What gave it away?"
The owner replied, "This is a dry-cleaners" !
Apple just passed Google, $1000 by end of next year!!!
No, just a April fools prank.
I hope so, for everyones sake, who endured the pain of "PL, SL" saga.........
I still think, they're both idiots!!
It wasn't up 366%, just 62%, might be a misprint.
You're not the one confused..........
LOL
I'm glad you caught that, I didn't..........nice!!
We need a break from X**C.......lol
This greatly made movie, though focused on one man, carries a powerful idea that can be the game changer for a better future world!!!
Here is a good way to start St. Paddy's Day ...
Paddy and Mick get a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bag six.
As Paddy and Mick start loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot says, "The plane can only take four of those."
The two lads object strongly. "Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours." Reluctantly, the pilot gives in and all six are loaded. However, even with full power, the little plane can't handle the load and down it goes and crashes in the middle of nowhere.
A few moments later, climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asks Mick, "Any idea where we are?" "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year," says Mick.
Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.
Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two"!
Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're having sex with your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.
"Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them because I wasn't even at home yesterday"!
Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor.
Mick says, "Oh no, Paddy, what ya doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attracter.....
The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tons of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.
Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different.
3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant.
2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant.
Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.
Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?
Paddy replies, - I'll take her with me
How to grab the peanut?
See how the chimpanzee solves the problem.
A challenge for you:
prior to see the solution, please stop the video and think how you would have done it.
Honestly, would you have thought about that?
Don't get an inferiority complex - everyone knows that monkeys are more intelligent !
http://sorisomail.com/email/50372/chimpanze-resolve-o-problema-de-ir-buscar-o-amendoim.html
See how the chimpanzee solves the problem.
A challenge for you:
prior to see the solution, please stop the video and think how you would have done it.
Honestly, would you have thought about that?
Don't get an inferiority complex - everyone knows that monkeys are more intelligent !
http://sorisomail.com/email/50372/chimpanze-resolve-o-problema-de-ir-buscar-o-amendoim.html
Some classics here - repeat (& forward) with caution...
SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE HUMOR
Man calls 911 and says I think my wife is dead. The operator says, How do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is piling up!
*******
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."
******
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
******
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
******
A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.
******
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening".
******
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I went to the thrift shop and got her clothes back.
******
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!
******
One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans was not the correct answer either.
******
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slow past schools.
******
A buddy of mine told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache."
******
Being a prudent man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard.
******
The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And then she said, “What’s the best form of birth control after 50?” and I said, “Nudity”.
+++++++++++++++++++++
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
+++++++++++++++++++++
The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
+++++++++++++++++++++
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing...
+++++++++++++++++++++
I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
+++++++++++++++++++++
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
+++++++++++++++++++++
If the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living.
Very short but to the point…
While creating wives, God promised men that Good and obedient wives would be found in all the corners of the world.
And then He made the earth round....
Pharmacist to Customer:
"Sir, to buy anti-depression pills, you need a proper prescription..
Simply showing a picture of your wife is not enough..!!"
I hope they pump this sucker one last time, so you can get out bud, even though the corpse is rotting.
I'm shocked.......lol
You made the right decision, that could have turned ugly, and you know you're right, it's not worth it.
In Florida, everyone hablo espaniol, thats not gonna fly homie......lol
LOL, don't worry bud, we'll take the fifth, oh wait, hasn't obama taken that away from us yet.....lol
I think pirate has lost complete confidence in kevy boy as well, I just hope he wont do something drastic , like going down there and kicking kevys ass .......... lol
LOL...... he might do a better job than kevy boy, but then again who knows, kevy boy might have a big surprise up his sleeve...........yeah right......lol
Merger???
Really........LMAO
Dead board=dead stock.........sorry guys, this is over!!!
And by eliminating the (Q), what do you think is going to happen, XMDC becomes AAPL???
LMAO..........
Maybe Starbucks????
Coffee and pot, what a novel idea.
LMAO......
You're starting to worry me!!!
Be careful with your words/threats, they might come back and bite you in the ass!!!