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Redneck Letter
Dear son,
Im writing this slow cause i know you cant read fast. Your pop read that all accidents happen within 20 miles of home so we moved. Can't send you the address as the last arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them so they wouldnt have to change their address.
That coat you wanted, aunt billy-mae said it was too heavy with them buttons, so we took them off and put them in the pockets.
Your sister had a baby yester morn. Don't know if its a boy or girl so dont know if youre an aunt or uncle.
Three of your friends went off the bridge last week. One was drivig the other two were in the back. The driver lived, he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned, they coulnt get the talegate down.
Please write back. It you dont get this letter, let me know and i will send another one.
Love, ma
Are You a Redneck Jedi?
You might be a Redneck Jedi if...
You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud
Light.
At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum
skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you
didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the
dark side...it'll be a hoot."
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense
electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your
land-speeder.
You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke
shorts.
You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get
in through the window.
Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the
Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood
deck.
You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina
scene.
If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father . . . and your uncle."
Deep thoughts
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him - Is he still wrong?
Non Sufficient Funds
Why do banks charge a "Non Sufficient Funds Fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Rough Landing
Upon landing hard, the pilot got on the PA system, "Sorry, folks for the hard landing. It wasn't my fault, blame it on the asphalt."
On this particular flight, the airline pilot noted that he had "hammered the plane a little hard on the runway."
The airline policy was that he had to stand at the exit and apologize to each passenger getting off the plane, saying, "Thank you for flying XYZ airlines and sorry for the rough landing."
All the passengers had gotten off the plane, except for one little old lady, walking with a cane and wearing a hearing aid.
She proceeded to walk up to the pilot and and said, "Do you mind if I ask a question?"
He said, "Why no, ma'am, go ahead."
She then replied, "I didn't hear the announcement. Did we land, or were we shot down?"
Success
At age 4, success is..................not peeing in your pants. At age 12, success is..................having friends. At age 20, success is..................having sex. At age 35, success is..................making money. At age 70, success is..................having sex. At age 80, success is..................having friends. At age 90, success is..................not peeing your pants.
DARN THESE FLYS!
An Englishman, a Scott, and a Irishman walked into a pub.
Each orderd a pint of beer . Then a fly landed in each one's
beer . The Englishman, turning slightly green, pushed his beer away and asked for another one .The Scott took the fly out ,
shrugged, and drank his beer . The Irisman pinched the fly
between his fingers and yelled " SPIT IT OUT! "SPIT IT OUT!"
Weddings
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered
to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the
happiest day of her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping
it simple.
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why
is the groom wearing black?"
Who is God?
A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both."
After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"
"Both son, both."
The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"
Four Animals
A little old lady told a friend of mine the other day when they were standing
in line together that all she had ever wanted to have in life was four animals.
My friend who has a large dog and a big heart for strays said, "oh really, what
kind of animals did you want?'
The little old lady said "A mink on my back, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in
my bed, and a jackass to pay for all of it
Joys Of A Long Neck
Giraffe and bunny meet up in the forest. Giraffe, in his usual arrogant way starts up a conversation.
"So, bunny, do you know how great it is to have such a long neck?" he asks, a faint tone of smugness in his voice.
"I'm sure I don't," replies bunny, obviously not really that interested.
"Well, to begin with, when I'm hungry and I chew my beautiful leaves, how can I describe the sensation of the leaves going down my throat....they go down and down and down....it's one hour of sheer pleasure."
"Really, how fascinating," replies bunny, one eyebrow raised.
Oblivious to bunny's lack of enthusiasm, giraffe continues, "And when I'm thirsty, and I drink water, for a full hour it goes down....and down....and down...It's heaven on earth!"
"Amazing," comments bunny,"but just one question. Have you ever thrown up?"
Say What You Mean
A teacher just taught her class how to describe stuff, using colors and size. She then decides to play a guessing game with them. She asks, "what fruit is red both on the inside and the outside?" A very smart little boy by the name of Johnny, jumped up and answers, "it's a strawberry." The teacher replied, "no dear, but you're thinking, you're thinking."
She then asks, "what is yellow on the inside and sometimes yellow and green on the outside?" The same little boy jumps up and shouts, "an orange." The teacher smiled patiently and said, "no Johnny, but you're thinking, you're thinking."
She then offered them the chance to quiz her. Again, Johnny hollers out and asks, "what is long, brown, has a red head and in my pants?"
Apalled by his question, she sent him to the corner. He then looked at her and said, "no miss, it's my pencil, but you're thinking, you're thinking!"
You know yours is a Red Neck Church if
You know yours is a Red Neck Church if:
Upon learning that Jesus fed the 5000, the men want to
know whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what
bait was used to catch 'em.
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the
purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows
how to play one.
The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up
the offering." Then five guys and two women stand up.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official
church holiday.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his
4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole
it couldn't get out of."
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven
last names in the church directory.
Baptism is referred to as "Branding."
There is a special bake sale to raise funds for a new church
septic tank.
High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
The baptismal is a #2 galvanized wash tub.
The choir robes were donated by Billy Bob's Bar-B-Q, and are
embroidered with his logo.
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
similar to one i posted a couple weeks ago
You know you're from Canada when...
You know you're from Canada when ...
1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
5. You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
8. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
10.You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
11.You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
12.The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
13.At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
14.The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
15.Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
16.You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
17.You head south to go to your cottage.
18.You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears
won't prowl on your deck.
19.You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
20.The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo it's sausage making.
21.You find -40C a little chilly.
22.The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
23.You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorrels.
24.You can play road hockey on skates.
25.You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
26.The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
27.You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
28.You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".
29.You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends.
Mixed Up Words
A girl walked up to the information desk in her local hospital and said, "I need
to see the upturn, please."
"I think, you mean the 'intern,' don't you?" asked the nurse on duty.
"Yes," said the girl. "I want to have a 'contamination.'"
"Don't you mean 'examination,'" the nurse questioned her again.
"Well I want to go to the 'fraternity ward,' anyway."
"I'm sure you mean the maternity ward."
To which the girl replied: "Upturn, intern; contamination, examination; fraternity,
maternity.... What's the difference? All I know is I haven't demonstrated in two
months, and I think I'm stagnant."
50 dollars is 50 dollars
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year and every
year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane."
Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that airplane ride costs 50
dollars, and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
One year Morris and Esther went to the fair and Morris said, "Esther, I'm
85 years old. If I don't ride that airplane I might never get another
chance."
Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs 50 dollars, and 50 is
dollars is 50 dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take
you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not
say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word it's 50 dollars."
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a
word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did
everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out, but
50 dollars is 50 dollars."
I found a 1970 monte carlo for $1500 that is interesting. Anyone have something interesting they would like to sell cheap?
I spent a couple hours tonight working on a friends hot rod, so I got car fever again and need to find a good project car to drag into the garage.
Time to clean out the backyard
Cars for sale:
1984 jeep wagoneer 4x4
1984 toyota hi-ace
1986 GMC truck
1989 lincoln
1995 mercury mystique
1996 ford escort
That about sums it up. I need to make some room back there.
Also, if you don't mind telling us all, how did you come to hear about vlvt? Is there some publicity out there we havent heard about or have you been watching for a while?
welcome professor. Is that a professional designation or just a nickname?
Wow the Kings suck. 4 wins out of the last 17? and they manage to beat the Sens??? Must be a full moon.
Only 23 hours to go in the MDC.
Stocks the deleted spammer is still in the top 10, joemoney still in 11th.
Should be exciting finish to it all.
Wladimir Klitschko to fight Corrie Sanders
Reported By: Boxing Insider - 01.30.2003 12:18 PM
BoxingTrivia.com - Think You REALLY Know Boxing?!?
Hamburg - „Steelhammer“ Wladimir Klitschko will defend his WBO heavyweight world title on March 8 against Corrie Sanders, 38-2 (28 KOs), a powerful South African who knocked out 18 of his opponents in the opening round.
Promoter Klaus-Peter Kohl regards Sanders as highly dangerous: “Sanders has beaten a large number of strong opponents, many of them by knockout in the first round. And he has an impressive record.”
Kohl thinks Sanders is a better fighter than Kirk Johnson or Fres Oquendo, two other top ranked heavyweights who he took into consideration as possible challengers for Wladimir Klitschko, 40-1 (37 KOs).
The South African champion held the WBU world title from 1997 to 2000 and has the reputation as best white heavyweight of the past years beside the Klitschkos. In addition Sanders is a southpaw, a challenge not only for Wladimir Klitschko’s skills but also the tactical cleverness of his coach Fritz Sdunek.
Sanders’ only loss in the past nine years came against Hasim Rahman who two fights later knocked out reigning world champion Lennox Lewis.
The site of Wladimir Klitschko’s 6th world title defense is the huge Preussag Arena in Hannover. In his last defense the 26-year-old Klitschko retained his crown against American Jameel McCline on December 7 in Las Vegas. Wladimir Klitschko captured the WBO belt in October of 2000 with a 12-round shut out decision over Chris Byrd who meanwhile holds the IBF title.
Mighty Ducks-Sharks, Sums
Anaheim 310--4San Jose 201--3
First Period--1, Anaheim, Oates 4 (Sykora, Havelid), 1:01. 2, San Jose, Marleau 20 (Selanne, Marchment), 7:46. 3, Anaheim, Krog 6, 8:53. 4, Anaheim, Sykora 18 (Oates, Havelid), 17:03 (pp). 5, San Jose, Nolan 17 (Ricci), 18:52. Penalties--Havelid, Ana (hooking), 9:50; Bradley, SJ (tripping), 16:26.
Second Period--6, Anaheim, Rucchin 16 (Sykora, Kariya), 2:27 (pp). Penalties--Sauer, Ana, major (fighting), :21; Marchment, SJ, major (fighting), :21; San Jose bench, served by Harvey (delay of game), 2:04; Kjellberg, Ana (hooking), 6:48; Chistov, Ana (holding), 11:34; Kjellberg, Ana (hooking), 12:47; Vishnevski, Ana (high-sticking), 17:49.
Third Period--7, San Jose, Nolan 18 (Ricci, Hannan), 2:57. Penalties--Salei, Ana (hooking), :50; Vishnevski, Ana (interference), 5:47; Nolan, SJ (tripping), 5:47; Hannan, SJ (high-sticking), 19:53.
Shots on goal--Anaheim 9-4-9--22. San Jose 11-17-7--35.
Power-play Opportunities--Anaheim 2 of 3; San Jose 0 of 6.
Goalies--Anaheim, Giguere 21-15-4 (35 shots-32 saves). San Jose, Nabokov 15-18-6 (22-18).
A--17,127 (17,496). T--2:25.
Referees--Tim Peel, Shane Heyer. Linesmen--Mark Wheler, Don Henderson.
Jan 31, 2003
NHL Top Individual Performance
(THROUGH THURSDAY, JANUARY 30TH)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GOALS
-----
PLAYER OPPONENT TOTAL DATE
------ -------- ----- ----
John Leclair, Philadelphia at Montreal 4 10-15-02
Markus Naslund, Vancouver at Edmonton 4 12-14-02
Marian Hossa, Ottawa vs. Atlanta 4 01-02-03
Shawn Mceachern, Atlanta vs. Florida 3 10-12-02
Mark Recchi, Philadelphia at Calgary 3 10-12-02
Markus Naslund, Vancouver at San Jose 3 10-21-02
Sergei Fedorov, Detroit vs. Pittsburgh 3 10-25-02
Adam Deadmarsh, Los Angeles at Ny Rangers 3 10-25-02
Tyler Wright, Columbus vs. Los Angeles 3 10-27-02
Paul Kariya, Anaheim at Boston 3 10-31-02
Marian Gaborik, Minnesota at Los Angeles 3 11-04-02
Alexander Mogilny, Toronto vs. Tampa Bay 3 11-05-02
Marian Hossa, Ottawa at Colorado 3 11-06-02
Vincent Lecavalier, Tampa Bay vs. Pittsburgh 3 11-08-02
Saku Koivu, Montreal vs. Pittsburgh 3 11-18-02
Marian Gaborik, Minnesota vs. Nashville 3 11-23-02
Marian Hossa, Ottawa vs. Columbus 3 11-23-02
Erik Cole, Carolina at Montreal 3 11-23-02
Glen Murray, Boston vs. Calgary 3 11-26-02
Andreas Johansson, Nashville vs. San Jose 3 11-27-02
Jan Hlavac, Carolina vs. Detroit 3 11-29-02
Pavol Demitra, St Louis vs. Calgary 3 11-29-02
Pavel Bure, Ny Rangers vs. Columbus 3 12-03-02
Curtis Brown, Buffalo vs. Anaheim 3 12-04-02
Jason Arnott, Dallas vs. Montreal 3 12-04-02
Miroslav Satan, Buffalo at Ny Rangers 3 12-06-02
Ilya Kovalchuk, Atlanta at Washington 3 12-06-02
Marian Gaborik, Minnesota at Vancouver 3 12-07-02
Eric Daze, Chicago at Ny Rangers 3 12-11-02
Eric Belanger, Los Angeles vs. St Louis 3 12-17-02
Alexander Mogilny, Toronto vs. Atlanta 3 12-23-02
Tyler Arnason, Chicago at San Jose 3 12-28-02
Peter Forsberg, Colorado vs. Los Angeles 3 12-29-02
Mark Parrish, Ny Islanders vs. Boston 3 01-03-03
Steven Reinprecht, Colorado at San Jose 3 01-04-03
Jere Lehtinen, Dallas vs. Los Angeles 3 01-07-03
Dave Scatchard, Ny Islanders vs. Pittsburgh 3 01-07-03
Jason Blake, Ny Islanders vs. Atlanta 3 01-11-03
Jaromir Jagr, Washington vs. Florida 3 01-11-03
Petr Nedved, Ny Rangers vs. Toronto 3 01-13-03
Dany Heatley, Atlanta at Philadelphia 3 01-13-03
Daymond Langkow, Phoenix at Edmonton 3 01-24-03
Dany Heatley, Atlanta at Ny Rangers 3 01-25-03
Alexei Kovalev, Pittsburgh vs. Chicago 3 01-25-03
Martin Havlat, Ottawa at Dallas 3 01-27-03
Martin St Louis, Tampa Bay vs. Carolina 3 01-30-03
ASSISTS
-------
PLAYER OPPONENT TOTAL DATE
------ -------- ----- ----
Peter Forsberg, Colorado at Nashville 5 01-01-03
Darcy Tucker, Toronto at Pittsburgh 4 10-10-02
Marian Gaborik, Minnesota at Phoenix 4 10-26-02
Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh vs. Philadelphia 4 11-27-02
Nathan Dempsey, Chicago at Ny Rangers 4 12-11-02
Matt Cullen, Anaheim vs. Pittsburgh 4 12-15-02
Daniel Alfredsson, Ottawa vs. San Jose 4 12-19-02
Kip Miller, Washington vs. Florida 4 01-11-03
Jaromir Jagr, Washington vs. Florida 4 01-11-03
Owen Nolan, San Jose vs. Detroit 3 10-10-02
Andy Mcdonald, Anaheim at St Louis 3 10-10-02
Stanislav Chistov, Anaheim at St Louis 3 10-10-02
Kip Miller, Washington vs. Nashville 3 10-11-02
Chris Drury, Calgary vs. Philadelphia 3 10-12-02
Vincent Lecavalier, Tampa Bay vs. Carolina 3 10-12-02
Alexei Kovalev, Pittsburgh vs. Ny Rangers 3 10-12-02
Jeremy Roenick, Philadelphia at Montreal 3 10-15-02
Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh vs. Atlanta 3 10-16-02
Joe Thornton, Boston at Calgary 3 10-17-02
Alexander Mogilny, Toronto vs. Phoenix 3 10-17-02
Mike Modano, Dallas vs. Washington 3 10-20-02
Dan Boyle, Tampa Bay at Ny Rangers 3 10-21-02
Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh at Montreal 3 10-22-02
Jason Allison, Los Angeles at Ny Rangers 3 10-25-02
Steve Rucchin, Anaheim at Edmonton 3 10-26-02
Eric Weinrich, Philadelphia at Ny Islanders 3 10-26-02
Sergei Gonchar, Washington vs. Tampa Bay 3 11-01-02
Peter Forsberg, Colorado at Calgary 3 11-02-02
Mariusz Czerkawski, Montreal at Toronto 3 11-02-02
Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh vs. Tampa Bay 3 11-02-02
Pavol Demitra, St Louis at Ny Islanders 3 11-02-02
Andreas Johansson, Nashville at Los Angeles 3 11-02-02
Pascal Dupuis, Minnesota at Los Angeles 3 11-04-02
Joe Thornton, Boston vs. Ottawa 3 11-09-02
Stu Barnes, Buffalo vs. Atlanta 3 11-09-02
Andrew Cassels, Columbus vs. Ny Rangers 3 11-09-02
Ryan Smyth, Edmonton vs. St Louis 3 11-15-02
Dick Tarnstrom, Pittsburgh at Montreal 3 11-18-02
Jason Wiemer, Ny Islanders at Tampa Bay 3 11-21-02
Sean Hill, Carolina at Montreal 3 11-23-02
Glen Wesley, Carolina at Montreal 3 11-23-02
Robert Reichel, Toronto vs. Philadelphia 3 11-23-02
Mattias Weinhandl, Ny Islanders at Ny Rangers 3 11-23-02
Alexei Yashin, Ny Islanders at Ny Rangers 3 11-23-02
Valeri Bure, Florida at Anaheim 3 11-24-02
Pierre Turgeon, Dallas vs. Phoenix 3 11-25-02
Joe Thornton, Boston vs. Calgary 3 11-26-02
Pierre Turgeon, Dallas vs. Minnesota 3 11-27-02
Darryl Sydor, Dallas vs. Minnesota 3 11-27-02
Michael Nylander, Washington vs. Calgary 3 11-27-02
Dick Tarnstrom, Pittsburgh vs. Philadelphia 3 11-27-02
Scott Walker, Nashville vs. San Jose 3 11-27-02
Tom Poti, Ny Rangers at Atlanta 3 11-28-02
Dany Heatley, Atlanta vs. Ny Rangers 3 11-28-02
Rod Brind'Amour, Carolina vs. Detroit 3 11-29-02
Dan Boyle, Tampa Bay vs. Vancouver 3 11-29-02
Martin Havlat, Ottawa at Washington 3 11-29-02
Radek Bonk, Ottawa vs. Ny Islanders 3 11-30-02
Eric Boguniecki, St Louis vs. New Jersey 3 11-30-02
Petr Nedved, Ny Rangers vs. Columbus 3 12-03-02
Robert Lang, Washington vs. Atlanta 3 12-06-02
Todd White, Ottawa vs. Carolina 3 12-07-02
Brad Isbister, Ny Islanders at Pittsburgh 3 12-07-02
Cory Stillman, St Louis at Detroit 3 12-08-02
Tom Poti, Ny Rangers vs. Chicago 3 12-11-02
Jan Hlavac, Carolina at Calgary 3 12-12-02
Shane Doan, Phoenix vs. Washington 3 12-13-02
Mike Leclerc, Anaheim vs. Pittsburgh 3 12-15-02
Jason Allison, Los Angeles vs. St Louis 3 12-17-02
Daymond Langkow, Phoenix vs. Pittsburgh 3 12-17-02
Paul Kariya, Anaheim vs. St Louis 3 12-18-02
Chris Gratton, Buffalo vs. Boston 3 12-18-02
Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh vs. Buffalo 3 12-23-02
Al Macinnis, St Louis vs. Los Angeles 3 12-23-02
Milan Hejduk, Colorado vs. Los Angeles 3 12-29-02
Ray Whitney, Columbus vs. Pittsburgh 3 12-31-02
Sergei Fedorov, Detroit vs. St Louis 3 12-31-02
Milan Hejduk, Colorado at Nashville 3 01-01-03
Chris Drury, Calgary vs. Tampa Bay 3 01-02-03
Wade Redden, Ottawa vs. Atlanta 3 01-02-03
Nathan Dempsey, Chicago at St Louis 3 01-02-03
Alexei Zhamnov, Chicago vs. Detroit 3 01-05-03
Jason Blake, Ny Islanders vs. Pittsburgh 3 01-07-03
Sami Salo, Vancouver vs. Ottawa 3 01-08-03
Darryl Sydor, Dallas vs. Chicago 3 01-09-03
Derrick Walser, Columbus at Calgary 3 01-11-03
Sergei Gonchar, Washington vs. Florida 3 01-11-03
Sergei Fedorov, Detroit vs. Chicago 3 01-13-03
Ryan Smyth, Edmonton vs. Columbus 3 01-13-03
Marian Gaborik, Minnesota vs. Vancouver 3 01-16-03
Glen Murray, Boston vs. Columbus 3 01-18-03
Jarome Iginla, Calgary vs. Edmonton 3 01-20-03
Vaclav Prospal, Tampa Bay vs. Ottawa 3 01-20-03
Vyacheslav Kozlov, Atlanta vs. St Louis 3 01-21-03
Eric Lindros, Ny Rangers at Ny Islanders 3 01-21-03
Deron Quint, Phoenix at Calgary 3 01-23-03
Shane Doan, Phoenix at Edmonton 3 01-24-03
Vyacheslav Kozlov, Atlanta at Ny Rangers 3 01-25-03
Randy Robitaille, Pittsburgh vs. Chicago 3 01-25-03
Sergei Gonchar, Washington vs. Ny Rangers 3 01-26-03
Saku Koivu, Montreal vs. Florida 3 01-28-03
Tomas Kaberle, Toronto at Atlanta 3 01-30-03
Rob Blake, Colorado at Ny Rangers 3 01-30-03
POINTS
------
PLAYER OPPONENT TOTAL DATE
------ -------- ----- ----
Jaromir Jagr, Washington vs. Florida 7 01-11-03
Marian Gaborik, Minnesota at Phoenix 6 10-26-02
Peter Forsberg, Colorado at Nashville 6 01-01-03
Paul Kariya, Anaheim vs. St Louis 5 12-18-02
Milan Hejduk, Colorado at Nashville 5 01-01-03
Marian Hossa, Ottawa vs. Atlanta 5 01-02-03
Darcy Tucker, Toronto at Pittsburgh 4 10-10-02
Mats Sundin, Toronto at Pittsburgh 4 10-10-02
Andy Mcdonald, Anaheim at St Louis 4 10-10-02
Stanislav Chistov, Anaheim at St Louis 4 10-10-02
Bill Guerin, Dallas vs. Anaheim 4 10-11-02
Olli Jokinen, Florida at Atlanta 4 10-12-02
Aleksey Morozov, Pittsburgh vs. Ny Rangers 4 10-12-02
Mark Recchi, Philadelphia at Calgary 4 10-12-02
Aleksey Morozov, Pittsburgh at Toronto 4 10-14-02
Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh at Toronto 4 10-14-02
John Leclair, Philadelphia at Montreal 4 10-15-02
Paul Kariya, Anaheim at Boston 4 10-31-02
Peter Forsberg, Colorado at Calgary 4 11-02-02
Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh vs. Tampa Bay 4 11-02-02
Andreas Johansson, Nashville at Los Angeles 4 11-02-02
Joe Thornton, Boston vs. Ottawa 4 11-09-02
Scott Thornton, San Jose at Florida 4 11-16-02
Saku Koivu, Montreal vs. Pittsburgh 4 11-18-02
Dick Tarnstrom, Pittsburgh at Montreal 4 11-18-02
Jason Blake, Ny Islanders at Tampa Bay 4 11-21-02
Jason Wiemer, Ny Islanders at Tampa Bay 4 11-21-02
Erik Cole, Carolina at Montreal 4 11-23-02
Glen Murray, Boston vs. Calgary 4 11-26-02
Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh vs. Philadelphia 4 11-27-02
Michael Nylander, Washington vs. Calgary 4 11-27-02
Pavol Demitra, St Louis vs. Calgary 4 11-29-02
Martin Havlat, Ottawa at Washington 4 11-29-02
Pavel Bure, Ny Rangers vs. Columbus 4 12-03-02
Robert Lang, Washington vs. Atlanta 4 12-06-02
Ilya Kovalchuk, Atlanta at Washington 4 12-06-02
Brad Isbister, Ny Islanders at Pittsburgh 4 12-07-02
Nathan Dempsey, Chicago at Ny Rangers 4 12-11-02
Markus Naslund, Vancouver at Edmonton 4 12-14-02
Matt Cullen, Anaheim vs. Pittsburgh 4 12-15-02
Mike Leclerc, Anaheim vs. Pittsburgh 4 12-15-02
Chris Gratton, Buffalo vs. Boston 4 12-18-02
Daniel Alfredsson, Ottawa vs. San Jose 4 12-19-02
Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh vs. Buffalo 4 12-23-02
Alexander Mogilny, Toronto vs. Atlanta 4 12-23-02
Ilya Kovalchuk, Atlanta at Carolina 4 12-27-02
Mark Parrish, Ny Islanders vs. Boston 4 01-03-03
Jason Blake, Ny Islanders vs. Atlanta 4 01-11-03
Sergei Gonchar, Washington vs. Florida 4 01-11-03
Kip Miller, Washington vs. Florida 4 01-11-03
Peter Bondra, Washington vs. Florida 4 01-11-03
Todd Marchant, Edmonton vs. Columbus 4 01-13-03
Ryan Smyth, Edmonton vs. Columbus 4 01-13-03
Jaromir Jagr, Washington vs. Ny Islanders 4 01-13-03
Martin Havlat, Ottawa vs. Tampa Bay 4 01-14-03
Marian Gaborik, Minnesota vs. Vancouver 4 01-16-03
Glen Murray, Boston vs. Columbus 4 01-18-03
Vaclav Prospal, Tampa Bay vs. Ottawa 4 01-20-03
Paul Kariya, Anaheim vs. Los Angeles 4 01-22-03
Joe Nieuwendyk, New Jersey at San Jose 4 01-22-03
Miroslav Satan, Buffalo vs. Toronto 4 01-24-03
Randy Robitaille, Pittsburgh vs. Chicago 4 01-25-03
Sergei Gonchar, Washington vs. Ny Rangers 4 01-26-03
SAVES
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PLAYER OPPONENT TOTAL DATE
------ -------- ----- ----
Ed Belfour, Toronto vs. New Jersey 50 01-04-03
Marc Denis, Columbus at Colorado 46 11-12-02
John Grahame, Boston at Philadelphia 46 11-16-02
Evgeni Nabokov, San Jose at Washington 46 11-19-02
Jocelyn Thibault, Chicago at Ny Rangers 46 12-11-02
Jeff Hackett, Montreal vs. Ottawa 45 10-26-02
Patrick Roy, Colorado vs. Minnesota 45 12-21-02
Nikolai Khabibulin, Tampa Bay at Toronto 44 12-03-02
Jean-Sebastien Giguere, Anaheim vs. St Louis 44 12-18-02
Jocelyn Thibault, Chicago at Boston 44 01-30-03
missed my call? post your number, I'll give you a call. I don't understand what you mean.
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>
surely there must be many more still sitting on deathrow waiting for the governor to call.
Nice. A few years ago my cousin was selling cars at a mazda dealer and a woman came in to trade her 5 year old mazda in. She told him it was a great car and she hadn't had to put a cent into it. In fact, she had never even had to change the oil. ha ha ha. true story
Penguins-Capitals, Sums
Pittsburgh 100--1Washington 011--2
First Period--1, Pittsburgh, Rozsival 3 (Straka, Hrdina), 12:38. Penalties--Doig, Was (roughing), 8:20; Nieminen, Pit (roughing), 8:20; Bondra, Was (interference), 9:10; Bergevin, Pit (hooking), 14:04; Salomonsson, Was (holding stick), 17:51.
Second Period--2, Washington, Gonchar 13 (Miller, Nylander), 1:21. Penalties--Halpern, Was (high-sticking), 4:36; Donovan, Pit (holding), 10:16; Bondra, Was (tripping), 11:13.
Third Period--3, Washington, Miller 11 (Nylander, Jagr), 11:31. Penalty--Tarnstrom, Pit (holding), 3:50.
Shots on goal--Pittsburgh 13-6-5--24. Washington 7-6-15--28.
Power-play Opportunities--Pittsburgh 0 of 4; Washington 0 of 3.
Goalies--Pittsburgh, Caron 3-4-1 (28 shots-26 saves). Washington, Kolzig 20-14-5 (24-23).
A--18,277 (18,277). T--2:22.
Referees--Chris Lee, Dean Warren. Linesmen--Kevin Collins, Lyle Seitz.
Hurricanes-Lightning, Sums
Carolina 010--1Tampa Bay 021--3
First Period--None. Penalty--K.Adams, Car (roughing), 7:17.
Second Period--1, Tampa Bay, St. Louis 25 (Boyle, Andreychuk), 3:23 (pp). 2, Tampa Bay, St. Louis 26 (Prospal), 13:00. 3, Carolina, Heerema 3 (Hedican), 15:17. Penalties--Hedican, Car (high-sticking), 1:20; Hill, Car (hooking), 2:01; Hill, Car (slashing), 6:39; Lecavalier, TB (slashing), 6:39; Wallin, Car (slashing), 11:32; Boyle, TB (hooking), 12:12; Roy, TB (slashing), 17:00; Battaglia, Car (goalie interference), 18:52.
Third Period--4, Tampa Bay, St. Louis 27 (Richards, Modin), 18:20. Penalties--Malec, Car (cross-checking), 9:56; Malec, Car (closing hand on puck), 15:41.
Shots on goal--Carolina 8-8-9--25. Tampa Bay 7-17-7--31.
Power-play Opportunities--Carolina 0 of 2; Tampa Bay 1 of 7.
Goalies--Carolina, Weekes 10-14-4 (31 shots-28 saves). Tampa Bay, Grahame 15-10-2 (25-24).
A--13,541 (19,758). T--2:15.
Referees--Don Koharski, Dennis LaRue. Linesmen--Tim Nowak, Stephane Provost.
Predators-Blue Jackets, Sums
Nashville 010--1Columbus 011--2
First Period--None. Penalties--Hulse, Nas (holding stick), :44; Houlder, Nas (cross-checking), 1:42; Knutsen, Clm (interference), 10:40; Hartnell, Nas (tripping), 19:06.
Second Period--1, Columbus, Wright 14, 2:36. 2, Nashville, Johansson 19 (Delmore, Timonen), 13:54 (pp). Penalties--Pronger, Clm (tripping), 12:27; Shelley, Clm (cross-checking), 12:27; Sillinger, Clm (goalie interference), 19:24.
Third Period--3, Columbus, Knutsen 3, 3:19. Penalties--Spacek, Clm (ob.-hooking), 6:01; Wright, Clm (high-sticking), 6:01; Skrastins, Nas (high-sticking), 6:01.
Shots on goal--Nashville 4-14-16--34. Columbus 10-4-5--19.
Power-play Opportunities--Nashville 1 of 5; Columbus 0 of 3.
Goalies--Nashville, Vokoun 15-17-6 (19 shots-17 saves). Columbus, Denis 19-26-5 (34-33).
A--17,256 (18,136). T--2:15.
Referees--Craig Spada, Eric Furlatt. Linesmen--Dan Schachte, Andy McElman.
Canadiens-Islanders, Sums
Montreal 100--1N.Y. Islanders 003--3
First Period--1, Montreal, Sundstrom 4 (Juneau, Dykhuis), 5:55. Penalties--Bates, NYI (tripping), :15; Koivu, Mon (ob.-holding), 6:33; Rivet, Mon (roughing), 13:27; Kvasha, NYI (roughing), 13:27.
Second period--None. Penalties--Koivu, Mon (ob.-hooking), :29; Peca, NYI (diving), :29; McKay, Mon (elbowing), 6:53.
Third Period--2, N.Y. Islanders, Kvasha 7 (Yashin, Asham), 3:39. 3, N.Y. Islanders, Peca 8 (Hamrlik, Blake), 4:44 (sh). 4, N.Y. Islanders, Parrish 20 (Bates, Peca), 19:00 (en). Penalty--Parrish, NYI (hooking), 3:58.
Shots on goal--Montreal 6-7-10--23, N.Y. Islanders 15-8-8--31.
Power-play Opportunities--Montreal 0 of 2; N.Y. Islanders 0 of 2.
Goalies--Montreal, Theodore 14-17-5 (30 shots-28 saves). N.Y Islanders, Snow 5-8-1 (23-22).
A--15,256 (16,234). T--2:11.
Referees--Kevin Pollock, Mike Hasenfratz. Linesmen--Jean Morin, Steve Barton.
Jan 30, 2003
Ftorek gets Bruins turned around in time
BOSTON (AP) -- Robbie Ftorek's faith in his players might have cost him his job. Instead, it has the Boston Bruins winning again, and trusting in themselves and their leader.
"I was never worried about his job ... because I know what kind of coach he is," forward Joe Thornton said this week after the Bruins extended their unbeaten streak to five games, pulling out of a slump in which they won just three times in 18 tries. "He's a great coach."
Ftorek showed his skill last season, his first in Boston, when he guided the Bruins to the best record in the Eastern Conference -- a shocking turnaround for a team that missed the postseason in the previous two tries. Then the Bruins lost to the Montreal Canadiens in the first round of the playoffs, and the same old blame game began anew.
The early exit persuaded management to let Byron Dafoe leave via free agency and open the goaltender's job to a competition between Steve Shields and John Grahame. All-Star Bill Guerin also left for greener pastures, and restricted free agent Kyle McLaren vowed not to return to Boston, meaning the Bruins opened the 2002-03 season without their top goalie, forward and defenseman.
Yet despite injuries that chipped away at the roster from the beginning, the Bruins were off to a 19-4-3 start Dec. 8 -- the best record in the NHL. And they still had McLaren as a trump card to be traded away for whatever piece might be needed.
Then, they started losing.
And losing.
A five-game skid was followed closely by another, and the Bruins were sinking. Ftorek looked over his team -- the same one that started off with all those wins -- and decided that he didn't need to do anything drastic.
"In an 80-game season, you're going to lose a few. I thought it would last a couple of games. I didn't think it would go on so long," defenseman Nick Boynton said. "But we knew we were going to come out of it. It was just a matter of time and effort. We knew we had the same team at the start of the year."
General manager Mike O'Connell said the coach's job was never in jeopardy. But Ftorek knew that he couldn't wait forever.
"I've been through this before," he said.
That's putting it mildly.
Ftorek coached New Jersey to the best record in the Eastern Conference in the 1999-00 season before the Devils went into a slump, losing 10 out of 16 games. He was fired with eight games left in the regular season; New Jersey went on to win the Stanley Cup.
"It's funny how it creeps up," Ftorek said when asked if he learned anything from Bruins' slump that will help him avoid another one.
"You do a lot of thinking about it," he said. "If things start creeping in again, maybe we'll deal with it a little differently than we did last time."
Despite O'Connell's protestations, rumors of Ftorek's demise began circulating as the losing continued. Players say they heard the talk but didn't feel like they had to save their coach's job.
Instead, they responded to the confidence Ftorek showed in them by showing confidence in him.
"Robbie did a tremendous job with us, starting last year," forward Martin Lapointe said. "Guys respect him and would hate for him to get fired. But that's all up to us. Guys have shown they want to play for him.
"We've got a lot of confidence in Robbie, and at the same time he's got a lot of confidence in us."
Despite their up-and-down start, the Bruins head into the All-Star break in the middle of the playoff hunt. They are starting to get some of their injured players back, and the distractions of the goaltender rotation is behind them.
Convinced that Grahame wasn't the solution in goal, O'Connell traded him for a draft pick Jan. 13; then he decided he wasn't impressed with Shields either, and sent McLaren to San Jose in a three-way deal that put Montreal goalie Jeff Hackett in Boston.
Even before Hackett took the ice, the Bruins appeared to be pulling out of their slump. They beat Columbus 7-2 on Jan. 18, then tied Washington and beat Pittsburgh before Hackett posted back-to-back wins -- including a 1-0 shutout of Philadelphia in his Bruins debut.
"The timing of it, it just happened," O'Connell said, denying the trade was designed to spark the team. "I think the players might look at it and say,'It's behind us. This is what's here. Let's move on."'
The Bruins appear to have done so. But they can no more explain this streak than the two that preceded it.
"Things aren't going good for you, and you think it's never going to turn around. But I think always, in the back of our minds, we felt like we had a good team," forward Brian Rolston said. "It's not an easy thing to do, but we did it."
Jan 30, 2003
Cole breaks bone in lower leg
TAMPA, Fla. (AP) -- Carolina Hurricanes left wing Erik Cole left Thursday's night game at Tampa Bay with a broken bone in his lower left leg.
Cole landed awkwardly after being checked near the blue line by Tampa Bay's Dan Boyle midway through the second period.
Cole has 14 goals and 27 points in 53 games.
The Hurricanes also played without defensemen David Tanabe (shoulder injury) and Glen Wesley, who sat out his third straight game with a groin injury.
Wow, is the jail ever quiet without joemoney and packers1.
Gambling on Chouinard
Injury-riddled Flyers take chance on another forward with a questionable work ethic
By TIM PANACCIO
Faceoff.com correspondent
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So how many Pavel Brendls can the Philadelphia Flyers afford to carry?
General manager Bob Clarke and coach Ken Hitchcock like to think that they've changed Brendl's work ethic from a guy who wasn't committed, to a player who now understands what hard work is all about.
But can they afford to carry Eric Chouinard, too?
Late Wednesday night, the Flyers picked up Chouinard, another player perceived to have all the physical tools (6-foot-2, 195 pounds) and skills necessary to be a NHL player.
The only thing the big centermen lacks is a strong work ethic. Sound familiar?
The 22-year-old is the son of former NHLer Guy Chouinard. He was traded to the Flyers from the Montreal Canadiens for a second-round draft pick this summer. The NHL draft is expected to be very deep this year with quality players in the early rounds.
If the Flyers didn't have so many injuries, Chouinard would be reporting to the Phantoms. Instead, he was summoned from Utah directly to the swamplands of East Rutherford, N.J., where the Flyers face a pivotal contest Thursday against the surging Devils.
It sounded like Chouinard might actually suit up against New Jersey even though hasn't played an NHL game in more than a year.
"Chouinard is a very talented and skilled prospect," Clarke said in a prepared statemnt. "He hasn't proven he'd ready for the NHL yet, but we think he'll be a scorer in the NHL."
Clarke said he expected Chouinard to "grow" in the organization and hinted he would be given a chance in Justin Williams (left knee surgery) absence. Whether that means now or later is up in the air.
But ask yourself this question: why would Les Miserable, who are struggling for a playoff berth, give up on a former, highly-touted prospect - a No. 1 draft pick (16th player taken in 1998) - unless they feel he has universal flaws?
Canadiens GM Andre Savard put it succinctly.
"The pressure of being a first-round pick associated with the pressure of being compared to Simon Gagne were unbearable," Savard said.
Chouinard and Gagne hail from the same 1998 draft class. Both played juniors together in Quebec. Chouinard was drafted six spots ahead of Gagne, who has become the star of that draft class in most people's minds. This season, Gagne has been struck with multiple injuries.
In Montreal, Chouinard was perceived as a player who could can get a couple of goals one night and then disappear for a dozen games.
He had a good early training camp but pulled a groin muscle and never played in exhibitions. He has 13 career NHL games and just one goal.
In other words, he's not going to solve the Flyers immediate problems for goal scoring.
THE GAME: The Devils are three points ahead of the Flyers and have shut them out twice in succession this season. Lose tonight, and the Flyers are guaranteed that they will lose the head-to-head tie-breaker with New Jersey for playoff seeding. The Flyers have lost three games in succession - second time this season that has happened - and have been shut out twice in succession. Those are two bad signs for Thursday's game.
THE OUTRAGE: Tampa Bay's 3-Love win on Tuesday night sparked outrage from Hitchcock. The team didn't show up. There was no work ethic anywhere on the ice.
"We were ready to win and not willing to pay the price," Hitchcock said. "The other team was willing to pay the price. The last couple of times we've come into this building expecting to win and not willing to work. We had far too many passengers. We had players who did not want to compete at the level of the game. If you are not prepared to work, that is disappointing. But that is not the problem. The problem is that we have people who usually carry the mail who were not ready to go."
Pittsburgh study finds even mild concussions can be quite serious
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PITTSBURGH (AP) - High school athletes who suffer the mildest of concussions - in which obvious symptoms disappear within 15 minutes - often have memory problems and other latent difficulties days after the injury, according to a new study.
The study from the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Sports Medicine Concussion Program shows that coaches and doctors should be cautious in deciding when an athlete can return to a game after a concussion, said researcher Mark Lovell, a neuropsychologist and director of the concussion program.
Now, coaches and trainers often allow an athlete to return to the game or to practice if the obvious symptoms of a concussion, such as disorientation and uncoordinated hand-eye movements, disappear within 15 minutes of the injury.
"Because on-the-field symptoms disappear within a few minutes and the athlete reports he or she is fine and appears to the sports medicine team to be fine, mild concussions often are unrecognized, overlooked or considered a trivial injury," said Dr. Michael Collins, a neuropsychologist and the assistant director of the concussion program.
The study published in the February edition of the Journal of Neurosurgery evaluated 64 male and female high school athletes who sustained mild concussions.
Researchers evaluated the players on the field. Then, using a computer program that administers a battery of memory and reaction tests, researchers evaluated the athletes at periods of 36 hours, four days and seven days after the injury.
Headaches, dizziness and nausea seemed to disappear within four days, but some athletes had memory problems seven days after they received a concussion, the study found.
If coaches and others evaluating an athlete miss subtle signs such as a slow memory, headaches and dizziness, players could return to a sport before their brain has had time to heal, increasing the chance of more serious brain damage, Lovell said.
Successive concussions could cause long-term memory loss and other problems, Lovell said. In rare cases, young athletes can suffer from "second-impact syndrome," in which an impact can cause a fatal brain hemorrhage, he said.
"The concern is that concussion symptoms are not always straightforward and not always reported by the athlete," said Dr. Joseph Maroon, a study investigator. "On-the-field evaluation of the injury's effects and knowing when it is safe to return the athlete to play can be difficult to objectively measure."
The concussion program's study confirms what "clinicians have known in their hearts," said Gregory O'Shanick, medical director of the Arlington, Va.-based Brain Injury Association of Amerca.
"Clinicians who have seen many people with concussions have believed that a history of concussions of whatever degree does count in the cumulative effect of concussions," said O'Shanick, who did not participate in the study.
But Lovell's study and the concussion program's research is important and meaningful because researchers are studying student athletes' memories and reaction times before and after they receive a concussion, O'Shanick said.
Many researchers in the past have evaluated people with concussions retroactively, with no idea of their memory or reaction times before their head injury, and the research can be "fraught with error," he said.
When Joseph Perry, the athletic director of Keystone Oaks High School in Pittsburgh, started coaching 35 years ago, he often allowed football players to return to the game minutes after they received a mild concussion, telling them "they just got their bell rung," he said.
Now, his high school uses a computer program called the Immediate Post-Concussion Assessment and Cognitive Testing system, or ImPACT. It was developed by the concussion program and tests athletes' memory and reaction skills before and after a concussion.
Lovell said neurocognitive testing such as ImPACT is the best way to evaluate an athlete's condition after a concussion.
"We don't leave it to guesswork anymore because my intuition could be wrong," Perry said. "There are speed, eye-coordination and thought-process tests in there.
"It's pretty hard to fake."