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MOND > :)
GMOS > :)
IFLB > :)
WYSK > :)
SHAR > :)
CDIT > :)
PEKG > :)
ITWJ > :)
IACH > :)
INSQ > :)
GSHF > :)
PLUG > :)
DCLK > :)
CHINA > :)
GFCI > :)
CCMI > :)
www.freeedgar.com
Free access to the latest SEC filings.
:)
www.fedworld.gov
Interesting government and business information from an agency of the US Department of Commerce.
:)
www.clergytaxnet.com
Useful information on clergy tax law. :)
1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backwards poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your
count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-
flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the
end.
24. Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thoughts
she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
SIGNS FOR FURTHER CONSIDERATION.
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
Two on Septic Tank Trucks:
1 - "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"
2 - "We're #1 in the #2 business."
At a Proctologist's door
"To expedite your visit please back in."
Two on a Plumber's truck:
1 - "We repair what your husband fixed."
2 - "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
action."
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right
place."
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
Laws of the Natural Universe
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
WLBR > :)
Aid from 30 nations pours into Pakistan > :)
Its about time > The price of gas going down that is > :)
Gas prices DROP > :)
Over $17,000 Stolden of Notre Dame tickets from law office > :)
Earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunami , Fires, mud slids & more > :)
Check The China Stock > :)
Two-man Chinese crew blasts off for space mission > :)
Some Flights are Delayed > :)
Don't forget to feet the Dog or Cat or Pets > :)