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I'm sure there is a hint in there. At first I thought you had something to do with horses, but you have made it clear you were a part of a "phalanx". Getting closer?
Ahh, perhaps a misunderstood...could you have something to do with the House of Pies?
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
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Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
MM, I need a little more to work with. Tell me something about yourself.
MM, I've made a lot of bad ones...in fact, I've just been released from the punnatentiary. AK
A backwards poet writes inverse....
another groaner from the Poet stalker.
Get your HeBrew here:
http://www.shmaltz.com/
AK
Still have a 5 post limit here?
Officer Certification. SEC Criteria, press release.
==========================================
Washington, D.C., June 28, 2002-The Securities and Exchange Commission today published a list of 945 companies whose chief executive and chief financial officers are now required to personally certify-in writing, under oath, and for publication-that their most recent reports filed with Commission are both complete and accurate. Officers who make false certifications will face personal liability.
"This is an unprecedented step to help restore investor confidence,' said SEC Chairman Harvey L. Pitt. "We are demanding that CEOs and CFOs swear that the numbers they've reported in their financial reports are correct and that they've left nothing important out."
The order is intended to assure the investing public and the SEC that the corporate disclosure in reports already filed this year with the Commission is in compliance with federal securities laws, or, provide information quickly about those companies where that is not the case. The Commission's order applies to companies with reported annual revenues in excess of $1.2 billion.
The order requires the principal executive and financial officers of SEC-registered companies to each file with the Commission a sworn written statement in which the officer must personally attest that the company's most recent periodic reports are materially truthful and complete or explain why such a statement would be incorrect.
The officers are required to file their written statements with the Commission no later than the close of business on the first date that their company is required to file a Form 10-K or Form 10-Q with the Commission on or after Aug. 14, 2002. The SEC intends to make the certifications available to the public on the SEC Web site. The certifications will apply to:
the company's most recent Annual Report on Form 10-K filed with the Commission;
all of the company's reports on Form 10-Q, all reports on Form 8-K and all definitive proxy materials filed with the Commission subsequent to the filing of the most recent Form 10-K; and
any amendments to any of the above.
The Commission's order and list of companies covered by the order have been posted on the SEC Web site at http://www.sec.gov/rules/other/4-460.htm. The Commission will also notify those covered by the order. For further information about the order, see Frequently Asked Questions About Commission Order No. 4-460 or call the SEC at (202) 942-2808.
My recollection is that >$1.2 billion revenues was used. Sorry I can't cite a reference off-hand. AK
TYCO. CEO Certification.
My E-Mail to David Faber at CNBC:
David,
I reviewed the SEC list for companies requiring CEO certification. Tyco was not on the list. I presume it is because they are a Bermuda corp. Could this be correct? Is this newsworthy?
His answer: "yes...although Tyco has said it will certify anyway"
I do not believe you are correct. See #msg-442869 AK
Tyco apparently is not required to sign. How about that? (At least I did not see their name listed on the SEC list.) See this link:
http://www.sec.gov/rules/other/4-460list.htm#t
AK
MM, please report back in 12 years and let us know how you did. <g>
Nah, this is a groaner. AK
===============================
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
I went to San Francisco State in the 60's, and I assure you nobody "dropped" Aspirin in their Cokes. AK
MM, here's something special, just for you. AK
==================
HOT TIP
This is very unusual for me. I'm not generally inclined to pass on financial advice, but yesterday I heard from a drug rep for Glaxo that they are on the verge of launching a new herbal remedy that they think will take the market by storm.
The drug sounds so promising that I want to suggest you consider buying stock in the company.
The drug is called "Gingko Viagra". Its function is to help you remember what the f--k you are doing.
As a child I used to get a penny's worth of salted mini-peanuts and drop them in the Coke bottle. An unusual combination between the sweetness and the salt. Of course my tastes changed by the time I was eight--I still like Coors. <g> AK
Poet, that makes a lot of sense. Have a hot day, and turn your oven on. For myself, I'd just have the Coke over lots of ice, sitting in front of a 25 lb. block of ice with a fan running behind it. But if drinking hot Coca Cola with meat in it is your thing, well, what can I say? AK
NOVN earnings out--stock up 15% in AH
LG, thank you for your response. I guess this is one of those cases when we are looking at the same set of facts and drawing different conclusions. Based on Zeev's posting history, if there was a planned absence, he would have told the board, as he did last year for the birth of a grandchild, so my assumption is that, for whatever reason, it is impractical for him to post directly to the thread. OTOH, I would think his sense of obligation would be to try to communicate that he will be AWOL, and in the absence of additional information, I have to accept bobbigirl's post at face value.
As you mention, posts are anonymous (except for Zeev), so I do not know what credentials bobbigirl could post that would satisfy (legitimate) skepticism. Further, given that Zeev does not hide his true identity, he has more reason than most not to disclose his whereabouts at every moment.
For myself, I hope all is well with him and his family, and given that he volunteers his time on this thread I don't know that he owes us any explanation, although I am sure one will be forthcoming in time as he sees it appropriate.
Just my opinion--I'm not criticizing anyone else's skepticism.
AK
Hiker, I think you hit it. It is easy for anyone to post here, and in this case there is little one can do to insure the veracity of bobbigirl's post. OTOH, it is not like Zeev to disappear, so one can only conclude posting to iHUB for him is not easy, if even available. I'll accept bobbigirl's post in good faith. If anything would be in keeping with Zeev's character, it would be to at least inform the thread if he could not post, and bobbigirl's post seems more than just the speculation of thread regulars. IMHO. AK
Koi, lifted this from SI -- seems a little like your style <g>. AK
====================
When the moon hits your eye
like a big pizza pie
that's amore.
When an eel bites your hand
and that's not what you planned
that's a moray.
When our habits are strange
and our customs deranged
that's our mores.
When your horse munches straw
and the bales total four
that's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife
gets strangled in strife
that's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight
waves his sword in a fight
that's Samurai.
When your sheep go to graze
in a damp marshy place,
that's a moor, eh?
When your boat comes home fine
and you tied up her line
that's a moor, eh?
When you ace your last tests
like you did all the rest
that's some more "A"s!
When your chocolate graham
is so full and so crammed
that smore.
When you've had quite enough
of this dumb rhyming stuff
that's "No more!", eh?
You changed the AIM group to Zeev's Turnips for the "featured" thread on the Home Page. Does that count? <g> AK
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"
A Rabbi who was late for a golf game was rather curt with several people whose phone calls kept delaying him.
The next day his secretary said "Rabbi, several members of the congregation were really upset with you when you cut them short yesterday."
At that point, a man who had been sitting within earshot in the reception room got up and departed hurriedly.
"Who was that?" asked the Rabbi.
"Oh, that was Mr. Ruthenberg." she answered. "He wanted to speak to you about a circumcision for his son."
Bob, if a PM is sent to a member, how does one know if that member is a subscriber and therefore entitled to receive the message? Thnx. AK
Shane, see #msg-433131, FWIW. AK
Getting an Answer Is One Thing, Learning Is Another
[Shane posted this article, sans link, on Zeev's thread. There are embedded hyperlinks if you view the eweek article from their web site. AK]
http://www.eweek.com/print_article/0,3668,a=29635,00.asp
July 29, 2002
By Peter Coffee
In the process of attempting to inform people via IT, it's ironic that we may be misinforming or disinforming them more than ever before. We're helping people find the most popular sources of what's often inaccurate or misleading data; we're answering people's questions, instead of questioning their implied assumptions. We're applying the ever-more-impressive technologies of Internet search and context-sensitive help toward counterproductive ends.
What got me thinking along these lines was an incident last week, when someone asked me how a computer actually stores pictures and sounds. I handed him a book on PCs (the one that I wrote in 1998, as it happens) and told him that the answers were in Chapter 8. In fact, that was the entire subject of that chapter. But he came back to me a few minutes later, frustrated, saying: "I don't understand why you said I should read this whole chapter. I just had one little question." (Honestly, it was less than 30 pages, with plenty of white space.)
I felt as if I were seeing, in that one brief exchange, the combined success and failure of our efforts over the years to devise interactive tools that answer the question the user is asking—and nothing more than that. Microsoft, with its Office Assistant and "Semantic Web" research efforts, is arguably the leader in giving people what they seem to think they want in this regard, but many others have also pursued these goals. Until now, I have thought that this was a completely good thing, but I'm starting to have my doubts.
The problem, I'm starting to suspect, is that people may have learned to resist the idea of absorbing a foundation of information before they start accumulating details. We've thrown so much complexity at people, during the past 20 years or so, that users have had to develop a defense mechanism: "Just tell me what I need to know!" But when we do this, we wind up with people who are merely following recipes that might as well be magic spells.
People used to have a chance to learn fundamentals, and maybe even see opportunities to do things in fundamentally different ways, before they were forced to buy in to the existing way of doing things, before they felt in danger of being hopelessly overtaken by minutiae. But look, for example, at the way we've changed our approach to the task of teaching people to write. We used to start children off with simple tools that did no more than they needed: When they were first learning to form letters, we gave them pencils. When they were ready for words and sentences, we gave them typewriters. When they were ready to start rereading and rewriting their own work, we gave them text editors.
Now, we're giving grade-school children desktop publishing tools, whose use exposes choices that they don't understand—and involves answers to questions that the kids have no idea of how, or why, to ask.
The problem also strikes in the opposite direction: Sometimes, it's not a question of knowing too little, but rather of "knowing" too much. If you only answer the question that a person chooses to ask, you give up any opportunity to influence the assumptions and beliefs behind that question.
For example, if someone asked you how to stop excessive bleeding from skin punctures, you could answer that question—and that person could happily go back to treating patients by bleeding them with leeches, now that you had "solved" his "problem." Would his patients appreciate your help?
We get angry when someone seems to be condescending to us by asking, "Are you sure that's really the question?" But we're done no favor when a tightly focused answer helps us keep doing the same irrelevant things, and lets us continue making "progress" in the wrong direction—instead of getting us out of our rut.
It's ironic that the vast worldwide knowledge base of the Web is actually helping us stay stupid and uninformed, merely because we can now find the answer that we don't know better than to want—instead of finding the easiest portal to knowledge through a door marked, "Let's begin at the beginning." There's the challenge: to build distance learning systems, knowledge-base search tools, and interactive help technologies that can help us find the trunk, and even the roots, as well as the leaves of the tree of knowledge.
Get up on the wrong side of the bed today?
UB, just make sure all that murmuring isn't your heart <g>. AK
Great price Molly--sure it wasn't 27.2? <g>
OT. For "Old Timers" #msg-434874 AK
Bob, figured it out. Thanks. My confusion was over the word "Remove", which I interpreted as "delete", rather than "archive". If you allowed deletions, would you not save memory resources? And for clarity, would "Archive" be a better choice of words than "Remove"? (More stuff for your free time <g>.) AK
And archived mail can be retreived? What's the difference between archive and keep? (I have a feeling I'm supposed to know this stuff already <g>). AK
Bob, then I misunderstood it's function. I thought that I could reset the counter to "0" despite the number of opened messages in the mailbox. What I really need to do is dispose or "keep" the opened messages, correct? Thnx. AK
Bob, when I have clicked on MailBox, there is a item that says "Reset Counter". I have to assume this would reset my MailBox from (xxx) messages to (0) messages. This function has never worked for me. Any ideas? Thanks. AK
Flying Around
Late one night during bad weather, the following was heard over the radio at an airport control tower:
Helicopter Pilot: " Tower, I'm holding at 3000 feet over Helipad 1."
Second voice: " NO! You can't be doing that! I'm holding 3000 over that pad!"
There was a brief moment of silence. First voice again: " You idiot! You're my co-pilot!"
Burger King
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, " Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"
The girl leaned over the counter and said, " Burrrrr gerrrrr, Kiiiiiing."
Cholan, TSM was not the "last nail", as you put it. UMC is also cutting back on capital equipment purchases. AK
======================================================
UMC trims capital spend despite good times' return
By Semiconductor Business News
Jul 30, 2002 (2:30 AM)
URL: http://www.siliconstrategies.com/story/OEG20020730S0001
TAIPEI, Taiwan -- Foundry manufacturer United Microelectronics Corp. (UMC) grew its sales revenue and net profits in the second quarter of 2002 but the company still took the opportunity to announce a trimming of its plans for 2002 capital expenditure from US$1.6 billion forecast in the first quarter to $1.3 billion.
UMC's sales revenue for the second quarter was $554 million up 52.8% from the first quarter of 2002 and up 23.9% from the $362 million of the same quarter in the previous year. UMC made a net profit of $133 million in the second quarter of 2002. This compared with $6 million profit in the previous quarter and a loss of $55 million in the second quarter of 2001.
“We are extremely pleased with our results for the quarter, especially the significant quarter-over-quarter growth in sales that topped our forecast. Clearly, even more important is our return to operating profitability,” said UMC vice chairman and chief executive officer John Hsuan, in a statement.
Hsaun put the booming second quarter sales down to strong demand from the consumer and communications sectors and the fact that the adoption of more advanced technology was having a beneficial effect on average selling prices.
However, UMC still sees only gradual recovery in place, indeed more gradual than previously expected, and so it plans for a cut in 2002 capital expenditure.
The company said that within the revised plan it remains committed to spend in full the amounts originally budgeted for Fab12A capacity expansion and 130-nanometer copper modules. On the other hand, UMC will reduce the amount allocated to increase eight-inch wafer capacity for Fab 8F.
Capacity for the second quarter was 649,000 eight-inch equivalent wafers. UMC currently estimates that in the third quarter of 2002 capacity will reduce to 641,000 eight-inch equivalent wafers, mainly due to a capacity adjustment across fabs. Fab 8C, Fab 8D and Fab 8E equipment will be reshuffled to optimize each fab's productivity, and Fab 8D will be transformed into a full copper production line.
Copyright 2001 © CMP Media Inc.