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I managed to acquire the phoone numbers for 3 of the businesses right next door to the vlvt office. I think I will give them a call monday and just ask them if they can offer any insight or opinion on if things appear to be happening there of if it looks quiet.
JR
I'm out at a wedding all day so I can't watch the game. I'll come back later and post Philly's winning score though, ha ha ha
Good honest discussion is good for us all. Keep up the commentary and lets get to the bottom of things and make some money.
JR
Foreman, McCallum Newest Boxing Hall of Famers
Associated Press - January 9, 2003
With BC-BOX--Hall of Fame-Glance AP Photos NYKR3, NYKR101
CANASTOTA, N.Y. (AP) - George Foreman leads the International Boxing Hall of Fame's 2003 induction class.
Foreman capped a remarkable comeback to become boxing's oldest heavyweight champion. Joining Foreman for enshrinement June 8 were 15 other boxers, officials and ring personalities, including Mike McCallum, a champion in three divisions; Oscar-winning writer Budd Schulberg; and the late promoter Dan Duva, who joins his father, Lou, a 1998 inductee.
The announcement was made Thursday.
``What a happy moment for me,'' said Foreman, who, along with McCallum, was elected in his first year of eligibility following five years away from the ring.
``It was on my first visit a few years back that I saw the hand wraps of the great Joe Louis. That's when my hopes first started to arise about someday being along the past great boxers.''
``To have my name with the likes of Joe Louis, Jack Dempsey, Jack Johnson and Muhammad Ali, I have made it.''
Foreman won the Olympic gold medal in 1968 and then won his first 37 professional fights, 34 by knockout. He knocked Joe Frazier out on Jan. 22, 1973, to capture the championship, defended the title twice and then lost the crown to Ali on Oct. 30, 1974, in Zaire in one of boxing's biggest upsets.
Foreman continued boxing until March 17, 1977, when he lost a 12-round decision to Jimmy Young. He then retired to become a preacher with his own church and congregation in suburban Houston.
After a 10-year absence, Foreman made an unlikely comeback, eventually earning a title match against Evander Holyfield, which he lost in 12 rounds.
Then, on Nov. 5, 1994, at age 45, he knocked out 26-year-old Michael Moorer in the 10th round to win the WBA and IBF heavyweight titles, becoming boxing's oldest champion. He retired for good in 1997 with a record of 76-5 with 68 KOs.
``George Foreman was menacing in his appearance and menacing in his power,'' Hall of Fame referee Arthur Mercante said. ``He was very focused as a heavyweight, very powerful and very devastating.''
The Jamaica-born McCallum was nicknamed ``The Body Snatcher'' en route to a career record of 49-5-1 with 36 knockouts. During his 15-year career, he held championship belts as a junior middleweight, middleweight and light heavyweight.
An international panel of boxing writers and historians selected Foreman, McCallum and Argentine lightweight champ Nicolino Locche from the modern-era category, along with middleweight champion Fred Apostoli and welterweight champion Curtis Cokes.
The selection panel also picked four fighters in an old-timers category that honors those involved in the sport between 1893-1942 and two boxers in the pioneer class, which recognizes individuals before 1892.
Duva, co-founder of Main Event promotions, and two others were chosen as non-participants, a category for trainers, managers and promoters.
Schulberg, who frequently wrote about boxing and won an Academy Award in 1954 for his screenplay for ``On the Waterfront,'' was selected as one of two observers, a category established last year for journalists and historians.
Copyright 2003 Associated Press. All rights
Steroid Use Not Like Vargas
Los Angeles Daily News - January 9, 2003
It's hard to believe Fernando Vargas would knowingly take steroids, an assumption many will make after he tested positive for stanozolol.
For one thing, he seems to be too proud. He couldn't have believed for a second he needed the help of drugs to beat bitter rival Oscar De La Hoya on Sept. 14. He was certain he was the better fighter going in, even if few others agreed with him.
And, while his behavior and choice of words are sometimes objectionable, he's always struck me as an honest guy. I could see him saying in his macho manner, "Only a coward cheats."
Rolando Arellano, his co-manager, called Vargas in Hawaii to tell him the bad news. At first, Arellano said, Vargas thought he was joking.
"He said, 'Steroids my (behind).' I said, 'No, man.' He said, 'I'm not stupid. I know they do testing. I was in the Olympics, they do testing all the time. I know they've randomly tested in Nevada. 'I'm not (expletive) stupid.' And I have to side with him."
So do I, at least to the extent that Vargas isn't stupid. He fully understands he's a valuable commodity without drugs - he'll make $10 million-plus for the De La Hoya fight - and would have to be extremely stupid to jeopardize that.
And those close to Vargas bring up an interesting point. He was taken to a hospital - out of the control of Nevada Athletic Commission officials - after he was knocked out in the 11th round.
If he knew steroids were in his system, why did he choose to stop at a clinic after he left the hospital to provide a urine sample? Why didn't he forsake the $25,000 the commission withholds and go home? Or why didn't he have someone else provide the sample?
One answer is he didn't know, that either a second test will come back clean or he took the steroids thinking they were nutritional supplements.
The supplement theory is plausible. Arellano said Vargas took about 15 pills every day. Someone could've slipped in a steroid or two - knowingly or not - without Vargas' knowledge.
Vargas, believed to be the first boxer to test positive for steroids in the United States, presumably wouldn't know a steroid from a vitamin without some research. Someone could say, "Here, take these," and I could see Vargas doing so without thinking.
That the stanozolol - the steroid for which sprinter Ben Johnson tested positive and lost his 100-meter gold medal in the 1988 Olympics - might've been in a supplement and accidentally given to Vargas seems less plausible.
Several medical officials suggested it can be acquired only by prescription or illegal means, although they agree anything is possible.
That raises the question: Who might've given Vargas the steroids?
Vargas acknowledged in a two-page letter to commission director Marc Ratner he trusted the "professionals" in his training camp to provide guidance on supplements, referring to physical trainer John Philbin and nutritionist Maz Ali.
Arellano said Philbin selected the supplements, a scenario that would seem to put Philbin in an awkward position.
However, I don't believe he would either knowingly or unknowingly provide Vargas with steroids. Philbin, who worked for the Washington Redskins, always struck me as a pro, a bright guy who knows his stuff and is passionate about it.
And, clearly, he values his reputation. To betray Vargas in such a way would seem to be too far out of character for him.
Ali? He vehemently denied providing steroids, saying he had nothing to do with Vargas' supplements. His job, he said, was to prescribe a diet that would produce the most-efficient fighting machine possible.
Philbin, who left the Vargas camp because of differences with Ali, disputed Ali's comments. He told maxboxing.com Ali also gave Vargas supplements, which Philbin couldn't identify.
And the fact Ali is known as a body-building trainer puts him in an awkward position.
In the end, this could all come back to Vargas, whose chiseled body the night of the fight has become particularly interesting.
Maybe the pressure of the biggest fight of his life got to him and he wanted an edge. Maybe someone convinced him he couldn't get caught. Maybe he made a mistake.
It's just so hard to believe. Of course, someone probably found it hard to believe Ben Johnson would take steroids.
For whatever reason VLVT is much higher on the most requested quotes list today than it has been all month. Don't know it that means anything other than there are more eyes upon it today.
JR
All-Star Game should showcase only willing participants
January 9, 2003 Print it
It has started, and it is an inevitable as the playing of the All-Star Game itself. It is the great sigh of resignation that comes from those selected for the NHL's showcase game.
"Great, another weekend of hockey instead of a break," it goes.
This season, it has started with a coach.
Flyers coach Ken Hitchcock will be the assistant coach for the Eastern Conference in the Feb. 2 All-Star Game. Ottawa's Jacques Martin will be the head coach. Selections are based on records through the first 41 games and right about now, Hitchcock is caught in a coach's Catch-22.
He knows he'll probably need every point his team earns in the fight for the Atlantic Division and Eastern Conference, but part of him must be wishing there was another team in the East, aside from the Senators, just a little bit better than his Flyers, who are 21-10-8-1 heading into Thursday's game vs. the Islanders.
That way he could spend some time with his family, who he hasn't seen much. They are still in Dallas, and he is in Philadelphia. Maybe they could all meet in Sunrise, Fla. for a little combination weekend of work and play. Still, that isn't much consolation for the honored, but tired Hitchcock.
"It's like anything else," Hitchcock told the Philadelphia media after his placement was official. "It's an honor, but you have been there before. It's kind of a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You go there to represent your team. But when you have been there three or four times, you understand how long the season is and the rest is something you look to."
Ah, been there, done that.
When selected for the 2001 game as a member of the Devils and asked what his past All-Star experiences were like, right winger Alexander Mogilny said, "The first couple were exciting. After that, it was a waste of time."
Teammates around him laughed, but Mogilny only smiled. A joke? Not really.
The honesty really takes the romance out of it all. And it's something of a Catch-22 for the fans as well.
Everybody wants the players and coaches to be honest. Everybody wants colorful quotes, not clichés. Yeah, yeah, you're happy to be here and hope you can help the team. Give us something real. Give us something honest. Give us, "If I ain't startin', I ain't departin'."
Well, maybe that's going a little too far. We want to think the players love the game. We want to think it's great joy to play with or coach the most talented guys in the world. We want them to feel like we think we would if we were part of the All-Star Game.
But let's be realistic. It's a long season full of travel with rare days off. This weekend is a three-day pass for rest and relaxation. (Although this argument loses steam when players crying for rest plan trips for golf and tennis in that short time period. But I digress.)
This season will be no different than any other. Veterans will be named to the All-Star team. Reporters will crowd around the lockers and seek the "just happy to be a part of it" quotes. Most will speak them without thought. Some really mean it.
It should be noted now that there are guys who enjoy the trip to the All-Star Game each year. They like being one of the game's elite. They like the attention, the game without any pressure. They bring their families and actually enjoy themselves.
But then there are the other ones. The one or two, maybe three if there's honesty in the air, who will say, "That's great, but I could use a couple of days off more than this."
Then the backlash will begin. How dare this player so lucky to have this job not want the honor of representing his team in the showcase event for the league? He owes it to the fans. He owes it to the NHL. He owes it to the game.
But why? Why is playing in the All-Star Game some moral imperative? It would be nice if every player wanted to be there and every player would give his best to put on a good show, laugh while doing it and talk about how it was the greatest weekend of his life. But let's be realistic.
It is not mandatory for a player or coach to want to go to the All-Star Game. It says nothing about the kind of person he is beyond tired and wanting a break from a job. Is there anyone who never felt that way?
If a player or coach really doesn't want to be there, let them stay home. Would that make it mostly a rookies' game each year? Maybe. But it also would be a great and unimaginable world -- where clichés and honest sentiment are one.
Hamister given extension to buy Sabres
January 10, 2003 Print it
BUFFALO, N.Y. -- Buffalo businessman Mark Hamister was granted a one-week extension by the NHL on Friday to buy the financially troubled Sabres.
Hamister is trying to secure the necessary state government financing.
"The league felt that we had made an adequate level of progress to grant us a one-week extension," he said. "I'm an optimist. I'm the type of person that works within the parameters I can control."
Calls by The Associated Press to the NHL were not immediately returned.
This is the second one-week extension the NHL has granted Hamister and majority partner Todd Berman, a New York City financier.
Hamister has stressed that no public funds would go toward the reported $70 million purchase of the franchise.
While the league awarded Hamister and Berman conditional approval to buy the team last November, their bid hinges on whether Gov. George Pataki approves a $33 million assistance package.
Without that assistance, Hamister has said he'll relinquish his purchase bid, opening the possibility of the Sabres folding or moving after the season.
Hamister's request for state aid involves refinancing a $22.9 million loan on the construction of HSBC Arena, the Sabres' home, and $10 million in capital improvements to the 6-year-old building.
"There's an honest dialogue going on between professional people with good ideas," Hamister said. "It's probably not unlike a sporting event: The only thing that counts is the final result."
He wouldn't rule out requesting another extension.
"Having said that, I'm going to do everything I can to complete it by next Friday," he said.
Hamister is having discussions with Empire State Development Corporation officials, but nothing has yet reached the governor's desk, Pataki spokeswoman Suzanne Morris said Thursday.
Hamister also has sought public assistance from county and city governments. While city councilors have turned down Hamister's request to waive the annual $500,000 in ground rent for the arena, Erie County executive Joel Giambra supports the construction of a $7 million parking ramp, which would serve the arena and the region's commuters.
Hamister has also requested the county provide the Sabres an annual $1 million capital improvement grant for the arena and that all proceeds from a 2.5 percent county event tax be used to cover arena expenses.
Copyright 2003 Associated Press. All rights reserved
De La Hoya to meet Campas on May 3
January 10, 2003 Print it
Associated Press
LAS VEGAS -- Oscar De La Hoya will take a May 3 tuneup fight against veteran Yory Boy Campas rather than wait until September to return to the ring in his rematch with Shane Mosley.
De La Hoya had not planned to fight until his Sept. 13 rematch with Mosley, but decided he would keep busy and fight Campas at the Mandalay Bay hotel-casino in Las Vegas.
The fight with the 31-year-old Campas (80-5, 68 knockouts) tops a Cinco de Mayo weekend card that will include a title defense by World Boxing Council featherweight champion Erik Morales against Bobby Boy Velardez.
De La Hoya (35-2, 28 knockouts) last fought Sept. 14 when he stopped Fernando Vargas in the 11th round to add the WBA 154-pound title to the WBC title he already held. Before that, he had gone 15 months without a fight and had talked of retirement.
Campas is a former IBF 154-pound champion who lost the title on a seventh round knockout to Vargas.
Those wings better be ready. I think that they are going to face Esche in goal for that game.
JR
Red-hot Flyers shut out Islanders
January 9, 2003 Print it
RECAP / BOX SCORE / SCOREBOARD
UNIONDALE, N.Y. -- The Philadelphia Flyers played the perfect road game, while taking the host New York Islanders out of it.
Roman Cechmanek made 24 saves for his first shutout of the season, and Eric Desjardins had a goal and assist in the Philadelphia Flyers' 4-0 victory over the New York Islanders on Thursday night.
"I think they outjumped us and outworked us, " Islanders coach Peter Laviolette said.
Flyers coach Ken Hitchcock was quite pleased with his team's effort.
"We played a good road game," Hitchcock said. "This was one game we were able to play four lines mostly throughout."
The Flyers have won five straight and they snapped New York's seven-game streak of earning at least one point (6-0-0-1).
Pavel Brendl, Jeremy Roenick and Marty Murray also scored for the Flyers, who won both visits to Long Island this season by a combined score of 10-2.
"I think our overall play right now is great," Roenick said. "And I think our defensive play is stellar."
Garth Snow gave regular Islanders goalie Chris Osgood the night off and stopped 16 shots. Snow's last start was Dec. 14, a 4-3 loss at Tampa Bay.
Cechmanek had some help in gaining his 15th career shutout, as the Islanders hit the post three times, twice in the final period.
The physical tone was set early in the first period, when Donald Brashear and Eric Cairns fought. On the ensuing faceoff, Todd Fedoruk and Eric Godard immediately went after each other but the teams then settled down.
"Basically, we had two guys show up tonight and they won the two fights," Islanders defenseman Adrian Aucoin said.
The Flyers took a 1-0 lead at 7:16 of the first when Keith Primeau raced in on a 2-on-1 with Brendl after an Islanders turnover by Aucoin at the blue line. Primeau drew Snow wide, then sent a cross-ice pass to Brendl who scored into an open net.
Philadelphia went up 2-0 on a short-handed goal at 15:53. Roenick took a drop pass from Simon Gagne above the right circle and used Islanders defenseman Kenny Jonsson as a screen and blasted a slap shot between Snow's pads.
"It was good for our team to go up 2-0 in the first period," Hitchcock said. "That was a critical part of the hockey game."
New York had 3:39 of consecutive power-play time in the second period, but failed to register a shot. Just after killing that penalty time, the Flyers took a 3-0 lead when Islanders defenseman Roman Hamrlik made a bad clearing attempt. The puck went to Murray just inside the right point, and his slap shot found the open right side at 10:05.
After Philadelphia killed off another penalty, Desjardins made it 4-0 at 6:49 of the third.
"Our penalty killing had nowhere to go but up," Primeau said. "We've worked on it in practice and in the video room."
Snow said the Flyers worked hard to get the win.
"They played a great game," Snow said. "They sat back, played tight defense and cashed in on our mistakes."
Islanders captain Michael Peca said those mistakes were errors of omission.
"I can't even talk about winning one-on-one battles, because we weren't even engaging in them for two periods," he said.
Notes: Philadelphia has not lost when leading after two periods this season (15-0-2). ... The Islanders entered in a three-way tie for most penalty minutes per game -- 17.5. The Flyers came in with the third-worst power play in the league. ... Since Mattias Weinhandl's second callup from the minor leagues, the Islanders are 9-2-3-1 with the rookie forward in the lineup.
I agree with most of your aprehension surrounding the future of this stock. I believe that the shares were sold to get immediate cash to use as downpayments to daimler chrysler financing for the nw trucks. As you can imagine there would be a significant cash requirement needed to cover that.
As for audited financials, I am not expecting them until the end of February, but sure would like to see them earlier. As per the Dec news release VLVT had an auditor in place, so I assume that means that the actuall process would have started that month. Now if the books were in reasonable condition, which they should be considering they had been perused by a Bangledeshi accountant of some type, it may be quicker than starting from scratch.
I expect that there will be some evidence of frontloading or increased buying volume immediately prior to the results hitting the street. Watch the tape and we may know a day in advance.
JR
This link is great!
http://www.omatrix.com/EAS/fibo.htm
"Description
It is generally accepted by market technicians that Fibonacci numbers define important market cycles and so many technical indicators are calculated using Fibonacci numbers or some factor of a Fibonacci number as lookback periods. In addition these numbers can be used to make projections of future price action and predict support and resistance levels. To determine the Fibonacci series the series starts with the numbers 1 and 2. fibo makes it easy to determine a Fibonacci number or to construct a series of such numbers. Each successive number in the series is the sum of the prior two numbers. Thus the next number is 1+2=3, followed by 2+3=5, 5+3=8, 8+5=13, etc. "
Here's some fibo analysis:
http://www.hedge-hog.com/hhu/MARK/MC1117.html
Market Analysis --November 17, 2002
Last week we finished with: " It's just a matter of time now until the buyers get the fever and start moving the market up. Stock is now in strong hands (http://www.hedge-hog.com/hhu/hhua.html) and the strong hands will be ever ready to dole it out to our weak hands and use a lot hype to make it all happen. That's how the game is played. At any rate a 90 day movement upwards to sideways from the October 2002 low is a fairly good bet at the present time."
So, the Elliott Wave class is now in session. This week, students, we examine the DOW:
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Chart by Bigcharts.Com (TM)
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So far there's an ABC in place. Can you see it? From 7177 to 8580 was a nice A wave. Then we pulled back to 8161. We then moved up to 8841. Then we pulled back to 8237. We are now moving up and what's the target? 8841? 9129? 9749?
Why these numbers? Well 8841 is the last peak. Then we would be doing a double top or failed 5th Elliott wave. If we surpass that then 9129 would be a target for the completion of a wave 5. And if the the wave 5 really has a lotta spunk, then 9749 could be a target. OR. We could be doing an ABC where the A went from Oct. 11 to Nov. 6, the B went from Nov. 7 to Nov. 13 and the C is currently underway. We are merely looking at support/resistance at this point in time.
If we look at our Gann wheel, we get the following numbers from 7177: 8280, 8570, 8870, 9170, 9330, 9470, 9780. Of those numbers, we appear to have used 8570. 9129 might be related to 9170 and 9749 might be related to 9780. Related? Gann didn't have a computer. He did it all with geometry. Let's give the guy some leeway.
And if we look at Fibo numbers: 8161 was NOT a 38% pullback from 8580. 9028 would be a target from the the 8161 pullback. 8208 would be a pullback target from the 8841 high if the market does soften here. If 8208 is hit, then upside targets would be 9236 or 9872. So Fibo numbers are not in play here thus far. That means we might be in a diagonal wave. It can still be 1 3 5, but it's not IMPULSE. If it's not impulse, it's CORRECTIVE. If it's corrective, it means the upside is limited and there's more consolidation in sight and that's the explanation which makes the most sense.
There's this IRAQI thing looming in front of us. There's the KYOTO accord troubling Canada. And there's this matter of regaining credibility since Wall Street has LIED to us. The type of Elliott Waves we get will be determined by the type of group behavior we get. That's what old Ralphie was trying to tell us 70 or 80 years ago.
Tonights Game:
Philadelphia 4 NY ISLANDERS 0
Five NHL surprises this season
January 9, 2003
Dallas and Detroit and Vancouver did what everyone thought they would in the first half of the 2002-03 regular season: rise to the top.
And, yes, Atlanta and Calgary and Columbus and Nashville were expected to stumble, and they have. (Just ask the fired coaches.)
Still, some teams have surprised. Here are the five clubs that made the most with what they had in the first half of 2002-03:
Minnesota
THN 2002-03 Yearbook prediction: 14th in West
THN said: "Minnesota remains intent on slowly, but surely, building a winner. It’s a solid plan, but one that requires patience."
By "patience," of course, we meant an explosive 8-1-2-0 start and a mid-season home among the Western Conference elite. The Wild’s leading scorer, 20-year-old Marian Gaborik (he turns 21 on Valentine’s Day), is third in the NHL with 23 goals. A recent injury to goalie Manny Fernandez – he’s out until at least early February – puts the pressure squarely on Dwayne Roloson, a journeyman who made it back to the NHL last season and has since split time in the Wild crease with Fernandez.
Tampa Bay
THN 2002-03 Yearbook prediction: 12th in East
THN said: "The Lightning is improved and will be tough to play against; tougher if it adds a scoring winger and offensive defenseman."
At 18-15-5-3 and in first place in the Southeast Division at the midway point of the regular season, the Lightning is, indeed, both improved and tough to play against. It turns out, though, that they already had a scoring winger – Martin St-Louis, fully recovered from a broken leg, is 15th in the league with 20 goals and 40 points. And they had an offensive defenseman, too, in Dan Boyle, who is among D-man leaders with seven goals and 30 points. A 1-0 shutout of Detroit was the perfect way for Tampa to cap the first half of 2002-03, but despite the success the Bolts have enjoyed thus far, they’re still only three points ahead of 12th place.
Florida
THN 2002-03 Yearbook prediction: 14th in East
THN said: "More question marks than Riddler’s closet, little leadership and too many holes spell another early summer for these Cats."
How is coach Mike Keenan doing it? The Panthers are contending for a playoff spot despite surrendering 20 more goals than they’ve scored and winning only 12 of their first 41 games. Only two teams have fewer wins. On the other hand, Florida has lost only 12 games, too, and only five teams have fewer losses. The Panthers are hanging around the playoff race by hanging around in games – they’ve already gone to overtime 20 times. Their OT record is an unimpressive 3-8-9, but the eight losses are worth one point each. Center Olli Jokinen is a leading candidate for best NHL comeback. He has 18 goals and 34 points in 40 games this season; in previous years, he was worse than you.
Ottawa
THN 2002-03 Yearbook prediction: 5th in East
THN said: "If GM John Muckler can make the right moves, the Senators might finally climb the mountain to playoff success."
Little did we know that the only moves Muckler could afford to make was to sign players that would play for food. But in the face of Ottawa’s financial uncertainty, the Senators have been money when the puck drops. Ottawa is one point behind Dallas for first place overall – and the Stars have played three more games. The Senators are the highest-scoring team in the NHL, at about 3.4 goals per game. At the same time, they’re one of the league’s stingiest clubs with the sixth-lowest goals-against average (2.26). Ottawa’s Marian Hossa (second in the NHL with 27 goals) has had a Hart Trophy-worthy first half and Daniel Alfredsson isn’t far behind. And there’s also surprisingly effective Todd White, up-and-coming Martin Havlat, Radek Bonk and contributions from fourth line center Shaun Van Allen (nine goals in 41 games) and winger Petr Schastlivy (eight goals in 22 games).
Pittsburgh
THN 2002-03 Yearbook prediction: 11th in East
THN said: "If Lemieux plays and the team stays healthy, the Pens could overcome their deficiencies and make the playoffs."
Finally, we look really smart. (Or as smart, at least, as hockey editors can look.) Lemieux has played all but one game – and leads the NHL scoring race by a couple of touchdowns – and at 17-16-3-5, Pittsburgh is right on the playoff bubble. The Pens’ problems are, as you’d suspect, at the back end, where injuries have wreaked havoc on an already weak blueline and goalies Johan Hedberg and Jean-Sebastien Aubin haven’t overwhelmed. A 10-game winless skid saw Pittsburgh sink from Eastern Conference contender to playoff also-ran, but they’ve righted the ship and will be in the hunt as long as Lemieux, Alexei Kovalev and Martin Straka – and blueline find Dick Tarnstrom – can shoot the puck.
Ottawa creditor list:
I owe . . . who?
January 9, 2003 Print it
A look at what the Senators owe secured creditors, not including accrued interest and fees, as of Dec. 31:
$14 million to the National Hockey League
$40 million to CIBC
$20 million to FleetBoston Financial Corp.
$50.7 million to Covanta Energy
$12.6 million to J.P. Morgan
$5 million to Aramark Entertainment Services (revolving credit lender)
Separately, another $210 million more to Covanta for the Corel Centre, the team's arena.
OTTAWA -- Will they stay or will they go?
The Ottawa Senators are "much closer to a definitive answer than we've ever been before," majority owner Rod Bryden said Thursday after filing for bankruptcy protection for the 10-year-old NHL franchise.
The betting money says the team will stay in Ottawa and its $200 million home at the Corel Centre in a far-flung suburban field.
The Senators become the first Canadian NHL franchise to seek bankruptcy protection. The Pittsburgh Penguins, twice, and the Los Angeles Kings have survived past bankruptcies.
Bryden's demeanor Thursday did nothing to suggest the franchise won't as well.
Bryden has the first right to make an offer on the club, which is now essentially owned by banks. He suggested he may be in no hurry to put together a package with a partner before next Wednesday when his exclusivity expires.
"The price we'll pay for it would be better if we wait," said Bryden, a longtime entrepreneur who has made and lost a couple of fortunes in his 62 years. "Because I believe that reality will be substantially less favorable than the hopes of the lenders.
"Maybe I'm wrong. There may be lots of wealthy folks just waiting to buy a hockey team and move it to God knows where."
The Senators owe about $160 million to creditors and the Bryden-controlled Palladium Corp., owes another $210 million on the Corel Centre.
Under the bankruptcy protection, the Senators will get $13.7 million in emergency financing to help the troubled team -- which missed its last bimonthly player payroll of $2.2 million US -- continue operating while it restructures its huge debts.
That money will easily get the Senators through the next 30 days, including paying players their missed wages, and a bankruptcy judge could offer the team an extension -- and the possibility of more credit -- when the team and its creditors are back in court next month.
Defenseman Wade Redden, in Calgary for Thursday's game against the Flames, said Senators players will "deal with whatever we hear and focus mainly on the game."
"Nothing's changed, our goals are still the same on the ice," he said.
The team has been among the league's best this season. It entered Thursday's games with the best record in the Eastern Conference and among the top three teams overall.
NHL commissioner Gary Bettman said the move to seek bankruptcy protection was "a necessary and constructive step" in shoring up the team's short-term finances.
"Now, we can focus on the club's long-term needs," Bettman said.
Finance Minister John Manley, an Ottawa member of Parliament who got into hot water for calling a CIBC executive over the Senators earlier in the process, called it a sad day.
"I hope it (Senators leaving Ottawa) doesn't happen. I know the community I represent is going to be watching with a lot of concern as the next set of events unfold. If you know someone who might want to buy a hockey team, I'd be happy to give them a call."
Thursday's news conference was Bryden's first public statement on the team's financial troubles since a refinancing package fell apart on New Year's Eve. That deal collapsed after two major creditors balked at their projected losses.
Bryden subtly hinted the banks may never get a better offer.
But he also placed the onus on Senators fans to provide the long-term financial stability the franchise requires.
"This isn't the big bad banks chasing us out of town," he said. "We need to decide whether or not we are going to have a team in the city and whether we're prepared to pay for it. There is a marvelous opportunity to have this asset here at today's values, soundly funded."
He noted the team has only 74 percent paid attendance, on average, and empty seats cost the club $220,000 per game -- or about $9 million a season.
The Senators rank 16th in the 30-team league with average attendance of 16,355 in the 18,500-capacity Corel Centre.
And he asked whether Senators fans in Ottawa -- like those of the Quebec Nordiques of the past -- want to spend 10 years building a franchise only "to watch the Stanley Cup final on television." The season after the Nordiques moves to Denver, the team won the Cup as the Colorado Avalanche.
Among Senators fans, there was a feeling that the franchise may be down, but not out.
"I hope it doesn't mean they leave town," said David Leslie as he walked into a bitter breeze along a downtown Ottawa street.
"My expectation is Bryden is going to figure out another way of refloating the team so that we don't lose it. But in terms of my taxpayer dollars going to bailing them out, I'm not too keen about that," he said.
Under the bankruptcy protection, Bryden said he can make an offer to buy the team on or before Jan. 14. If no such bid is made or creditors don't accept his bid before Jan. 24, the next step is to sell the franchise on the open market. Bryden could still make a bid then.
The process will be designed to produce a final sale of the franchise by early May.
A financing deal between Bryden and more than 650 investors that would have pumped about $42 million into the team to finance operations -- including paying players salaries, which were missed last week -- fell apart Dec. 31. Both FleetBoston and CIBC are taking some blame for the failure of the deal.
A CIBC spokesman said the bank will work with stakeholders to find a "permanent solution" to the Senators' financial crisis.
"We do expect that the granting of the order will bring stability to the team's operations and focus the stakeholders' attention on finding a permanent solution to the financial difficulties facing the team," CIBC spokesman Rob McLeod said from Toronto.
TV revenues at a glance
January 9, 2003 Print it
A quick look at the national TV deals signed by the NHL, NBA, NFL and major league baseball (excludes individual teams' regional TV agreements; all figures in U.S. dollars unless otherwise noted):
NHL: $600 million over five years with ESPN/ABC; $300 million Cdn over five years with CBC; $100 million Cdn over five years with The Sports Network. Works out to $171 million for this season, $5.7 million per NHL team.
Baseball: $2.5 billion over six years with Fox, including $340 million in 2002; $851 million over six years with ESPN worth $851 million. It paid baseball $39.9 million in 2002. Each of the 30 baseball clubs received $12.66 million apiece from the TV deals in 2002.
NBA: $4.6 billion over six years with ESPN/ABC and AOL Time Warner (TNT). That's $400 million this season from ESPN/ABC and $365 million from AOL Time Warner split among the 29 NBA clubs -- $26.4 million per team this year.
NFL: $18 billion over eight years with ABC/ESPN, CBS and Fox. For this season alone, ABC/ESPN paid $1.35 billion, CBS $550 million and Fox $575 million. That's $2.475 billion just for this year, divided among the 32 NFL clubs -- $77.34 million per team.
TV revenues at a glance
January 9, 2003 Print it
A quick look at the national TV deals signed by the NHL, NBA, NFL and major league baseball (excludes individual teams' regional TV agreements; all figures in U.S. dollars unless otherwise noted):
NHL: $600 million over five years with ESPN/ABC; $300 million Cdn over five years with CBC; $100 million Cdn over five years with The Sports Network. Works out to $171 million for this season, $5.7 million per NHL team.
Baseball: $2.5 billion over six years with Fox, including $340 million in 2002; $851 million over six years with ESPN worth $851 million. It paid baseball $39.9 million in 2002. Each of the 30 baseball clubs received $12.66 million apiece from the TV deals in 2002.
NBA: $4.6 billion over six years with ESPN/ABC and AOL Time Warner (TNT). That's $400 million this season from ESPN/ABC and $365 million from AOL Time Warner split among the 29 NBA clubs -- $26.4 million per team this year.
NFL: $18 billion over eight years with ABC/ESPN, CBS and Fox. For this season alone, ABC/ESPN paid $1.35 billion, CBS $550 million and Fox $575 million. That's $2.475 billion just for this year, divided among the 32 NFL clubs -- $77.34 million per team.
NHL financial mess has many roots
January 9, 2003 Print it
Pierre LeBrun
Canadian Press
TV revenues at a glance
On the ice, the NHL has rarely seen better times. Attendance is strong, two Canadian teams top their divisions, Mario Lemieux is leading the league in scoring and new rules have helped open up the game.
But the NHL is on thin ice financially in some cities.
Even if you put down the current crisis in Ottawa, where the Senators filed for bankruptcy protection Thursday, and the situation in Buffalo as the result of flawed ownership structures, there are other red flag franchises.
Anaheim, Nashville, Florida, Tampa Bay, Atlanta and the New York Islanders all face challenges, not to mention the day-to-day battles faced in Calgary and Edmonton.
And that's not even counting the markets that are assumed to be stable.
"In St. Louis, we're just trying to keep ourselves above water," Blues GM Larry Pleau said. "I think it's known that we don't make money. That's no secret. And we don't like that."
There are two main issues that have made life hell for NHL clubs: the current collective bargaining agreement -- and the resulting spiraling of salaries -- and lack of television revenue compared to the other three major pro sports leagues.
Add to that the weak Canadian dollar for the six Canadian-based teams.
Commissioner Gary Bettman has said the NHL's total revenues this year will be in the neighborhood of $1.9 billion, exceeding player salaries, which will be around $1.3 billion. But that doesn't count all the other costs NHL teams pay such as equipment, travel, arena leases, and government taxes.
"The game doesn't make any financial sense for many of these owners," said one NHL team executive who wonders why those in the trouble spots stick with it.
Former NHL owner Arthur Griffiths, who sold the Vancouver Canucks in 1997 after several seasons of red ink, knows one answer.
"Many of the owners have sources of income that are outside of hockey," Griffiths said. "But if you dip into your other pocket, so to speak, that's where you get killed."
That kind of financial cross-pollination -- and owners' reluctance to open their books -- also makes it hard to figure out who's winning and who's losing the financial battle.
For its part, the NHL says it is ready to assist where needed.
"We are committed to helping those clubs resolve the issues they face," a league spokesman said.
But all teams face substantial obstacles.
While hockey is king in Canada, the sport has to play second banana south of the border to the NFL, NBA and major league baseball -- not to mention NASCAR in some regions.
The NHL's TV deals reflect that. And TV money fuels sports at this level.
The current NHL agreement with ESPN/ABC, which is in its third season, is worth $600 million over five years. CBC's five-year deal, which began this season, is worth a reported $300 million Cdn while The Sports Network's five-year agreement pays a reported $100 million Cdn.
That works out to $171 million for this season, which split amongst the 30 NHL teams is about $5.7 million apiece.
That is just for shared TV revenue. Clubs also benefit from local TV deals.
Compare those figures to the NBA, which agreed to a six-year deal (starting this season) worth $4.6 billion with ESPN/ABC and AOL Time Warner (TNT). That's $400 million this season from ESPN/ABC and $365 million from AOL Time Warner split among the 29 NBA clubs -- $26.4 million per team this year.
Major league baseball has a six-year, $2.5 billion deal with Fox (2001 through 2006), including $340 million in 2002. ESPN has a six-year deal (2000 through 2005) worth $851 million. It paid baseball $39.9 million in 2002 and that goes up to $175 million in 2003.
That works out to $12.66 million apiece for the 30 ball clubs in 2002.
If you think the NHL's TV deal pales in comparison to the NBA and major league baseball, hold on to your hat.
The NFL is midway through an eight-year, $18 billion deal with ABC/ESPN, CBS and Fox. For this season alone, ABC/ESPN paid $1.35 billion, CBS $550 million and Fox $575 million. That's $2.475 billion just for this year, divided among the 32 NFL clubs -- which works out to $77.34 million apiece.
Despite the fact the TV revenue shared by NHL clubs is 13.5 times less than of NFL franchises, the NHL's average player salary of $1.64 million last season was higher than the NFL's average of $1.1 million -- a figure probably dragged down by the fact NFL teams pay up to 60 players.
"Everybody would like to have (a better TV package) but we don't," says Florida Panthers GM Rick Dudley, who points to rising attendance as a positive for revenue.
Attendance has increased for four consecutive seasons, averaging 16,760 a game in 2001-02, 16,564 in 2000-01, 16,376 in 1999-2000 and 16,262 in 1998-99.
Still, despite increased attendance and money from local TV deals, revenues will be surpassed by expenditures when all costs are factored in this season, Bettman says.
A lot of that has to do with salaries, which have skyrocketed since 1990-91, when the average salary was $271,000.
The collective bargaining agreement between the NHL and the NHL Players' Association, twice extended in its current form, will have lasted a full 10 years when it expires after next season.
The deal, agreed upon during the 1994-95 lockout, has seen salaries spiral out of control.
The average NHL salary for 1993-94, the last season before the current agreement, was $572,161. That has since tripled to $1.64 million for 2001-02.
Major league baseball's average salary for 2002 was $2.3 million, also rapidly rising from the $1.03 million it averaged in 1992.
The NFL has gone from $551,000 in 1992 to a high of $1.16 million in 2000, actually going down to $1.1 million in 2001.
The NBA's average salary last season was $4.5 million (although there are 12-14 players a team), up from the $1 million it averaged in 1991-92.
The NHL thought it was gaining some control on salaries when it got the union to agree to a rookie salary cap in the current CBA. But it didn't take long for player agents to find a way around that, starting with Joe Thornton in 1997. Signing bonuses and performance bonuses help circumvent the rookie cap.
"It's almost like as soon as (the CBA) was done, they found a loophole and just drove a truck through it," San Jose Sharks GM Dean Lombardi says.
For example, Atlanta Thrashers forward Ilya Kovalchuk was limited to the maximum rookie salary of $1.3 million last season but ended up earning $4.375 million in total thanks to his bonuses.
"We were supposed to have a cap on rookies and it didn't really work out that way," Lombardi says. "Nobody anticipated, when you signed a top-10 pick, being exposed to like $7 million or $10 million in bonuses.
"Unfortunately it started right away. Thornton started it with like $3 million or $4 million and then (Vincent) Lecavalier was up to $10 million or $11 million."
Restricted free agents, meanwhile -- those 30 and under -- were supposed to be limited in their salary increases. In theory, Group 2 free agents aren't required to get more than a 10 percent raise unless they qualify for salary arbitration. But that leverage also quickly went by the wayside as stars like a young Paul Kariya withheld their services and signed monster deals. Kariya, who sat out two months in 1997-98, went from $2.1 million to $8.5 million.
"So many parts of that (collective) agreement made sense," said Lombardi, who has played hardball with his own restricted free agents like Brad Stuart, Marco Sturm and Patrick Marleau. "The idea from a leverage standpoint was to channel money towards players as they gained more experience."
Unrestricted free agency, players 31 and older, may have also pumped up salaries. Because there are so few desirable players available with no compensation, a handful of NHL clubs, notably the New York Rangers, Detroit Red Wings and Toronto Maple Leafs, have overpaid for these types of players over the past decade in order to outbid another team.
The end result was the limited number of unrestricted free agents available over the past decade drove up salaries because younger players in their actual prime demanded to be compensated equally.
The NHL remains the only league among the Big Four without some kind of salary cap or luxury tax system.
It's coming.
"I think it would be naive for us to think (some form of salary cap) won't be on the NHL's agenda," says agent J.P. Barry, the president of IMG Hockey. "I think we can expect that will part of their proposal."
It won't be the first time the NHL puts the salary cap on the table.
"That idea isn't foreign to the NHL," Griffiths said. "My last collective bargaining agreement negotiations (1994-95) was headed in that direction but at the last minute, and I don't want to get into specifics, it got off track and we ended up with a situation that wasn't in the best interest of managing these businesses."
Without some kind of luxury tax or salary cap, it's doubtful the NHL will carry on with 30 teams.
"I don't believe it's possible without some kind of an imposed salary structure," Griffiths says. "It's a win-win, if the NHL has 30 successful teams or has a structure that they can all operate successfully under, the players also win because there's that many more jobs."
Still, don't blame the CBA for the current problems in Buffalo and Ottawa.
"If somebody were to say the Ottawa Senators and the Buffalo Sabres represent the economics of the game today, you couldn't do that because there's extenuating circumstances for both teams," says agent Don Meehan, whose firm represents more than 100 players. "It Ottawa's case, it was a very poor business model to begin with. And the accumulation of debt hasn't allowed it to continue. Is that therefore representative of every other franchise? No, it's not."
Says Barry: "If you look at it really closely we've got fundamental ownership structure problems in both Buffalo and Ottawa. And particularly in Ottawa, Rod Bryden has tried for many years now to try and get out from the original flawed structure."
Pleau says it's more than that. The NHL's financial squeeze is no different than what has happened in the real world, where companies have been hit hard by a depressed economy.
"Look at what's happening in the business world. Look at what going on in the accounting world," Pleau says. "I mean, we're all being affected by that, never mind the sports world. These things just happen today. We're no different than any other business. We're all in the same boat."
Despite the lack of revenue compared to the other three leagues, Barry believes the NHL can thrive.
"I remain optimistic that the numbers are there," he says. "Yes there are some business structures that we have to look at about the way certain teams have done business. But I think if you look at what revenue is generated in each and every single place, if the proper structure is there, I think we can maintain it."
For Canadian teams, there's also the loonie to deal with. They pay their players in U.S. cash but take in most of their revenue in Canadian dollars, which are worth 63 cents US. The NHL's Canadian Currency Assistance Plan was extended for this season and next, in order to coincide with the CBA's expiry in September 2004.
The Calgary Flames, Edmonton Oilers, Ottawa Senators and Vancouver Canucks qualify for the plan, which was instituted six years ago to help ease the pain of a weak Canadian dollar.
Each of those four teams received $2.7 million apiece last season. To qualify for the program, Canadian teams had to sell at least 13,000 season tickets or be among the lowest revenue-generating clubs in the league while proving that everything was done to attract corporate support.
Toronto and Montreal have never qualified for the plan because their revenues are too high. In fact, the Habs and Leafs have to contribute to the plan to help out their Canadian cousins, just like all of the American clubs do.
But the $2.7 million doesn't come close to covering the gap created by a 63-cent dollar. The Oilers spent more than $20 million Cdn just to make up the difference last season.
It'll take more than $2.7 million to save the Senators.
"Call me the eternal optimist but I think they'll figure it out," says Dudley, a former GM in Ottawa and coach in Buffalo. "Obviously I'm partial to the franchise in Ottawa, but I think there's going to be an Ottawa Senators and there's going to be a Buffalo Sabres. I have no crystal ball to say that. Just a gut feeling.
"There's been rough times before in our sport but I just think we have some very bright people running our league and they'll figure it out."
Copyright 2003 Canadian Press. All rights reserved. This material
NHL slaps Habs GM coach
January 9, 2003 Print it
TORONTO -- Montreal Canadiens GM Andre Savard and coach Michel Therrien were fined Thursday by the NHL for their outbursts following a 3-2 road loss to the New Jersey Devils earlier in the week.
Savard was fined $50,000 and Therrien was fined $25,000 for "abuse directed at the on-ice officials."
During the game, referee Kerry Fraser disallowed a Canadiens goal in the first period and then allowed Joe Nieuwendyk's winning goal in the third period to stand even though Canadiens goaltender Jeff Hackett was knocked down by the Devils' Jeff Friesen.
Therrien and Savard screamed at Fraser as he left the ice after the game. Savard had to be restrained from going into the dressing room after the game, according to security officials at the Continental Airlines Arena who asked not to be identified.
"First of all, we believe we got robbed," Therrien said after emerging from the team's changing room some 20 minutes after the game. "There is no doubt about that."
A Canadiens spokesman said Savard would not comment on the fine.
The blow-up came as the Canadiens ended a seven-game road trip during which they did not win a game and earned three of a possible 14 points.
Last month, the Canadiens complained to the league after Fraser failed to call spearing on Boston Bruins center Joe Thornton after Thornton jabbed Canadiens defenseman Andrei Markov in the stomach with his stick blade. Thornton was fined $1,000 the next day.
Dirty office sayings
Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty In The Office, But Aren’t!
10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, I’ll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!!!!
5. HMMMM, I think it’s out of fluid.
4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
3. It’s an entry level position.
2. When do you think you will be getting off today?
1. It’s not fair, I do all the work while he just sits there!!
Life Explained
On the first day God created the cow. God said, “You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said, “That’s a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I’ll give back the other forty.”
And God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give back the other ten.”
So God agreed (sigh).
On the third day God created the monkey. God said, entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty year life span.”
Monkey said, “How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?”
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man. God said, “Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I’ll give you twenty years.”
Man said, “What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I’ll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?”
“Okay,” said God. “You’ve got a deal.”
So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.
Losing your Load
A truck was traveling through town. When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, "Mr. your losing part of your load".
She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light. She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. your losing part of your load."
The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said, "MAM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE, I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK.......
Pearly Gates
Three guys died and when they get to the pearly gates, St. Peter meets them there. St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you a couple of questions. Make sure you tell the truth because if you don't you will forfeit your privilege of being here and we'll have to ask you to visit our friend below. Your answers will also determine what kind of car you get. You have to have a car here in Heaven because it is so big!"
The first guy walks up and Peter asks him, "How long were you married?"
The guy replies, "24 years."
St. Peter then asks, "Did you ever cheat on your wife?"
The guy says, "Yes, about 10 times...but you said I was forgiven."
Peter said, "yeah, but that's not too good. Here's a Pinto for you to drive."
The second guy walks up and gets the same questions from Peter to which he replies, "I was married for 41 years and cheated on her only once, but that was during our first year and we worked it out and I was faithful there after."
Peter said, "I'm pleased to hear that, here's a Lincoln Town Car for you to drive."
The third guy walked up and said, "Peter, I know what you're going to ask. I was married for 63 years and didn't even look at another woman! I treated my wife like a queen!"
Peter said, "That's what I like to hear. Here's a Jaguar for you to drive"
A little while later, the two guys with the Lincoln and the Pinto saw the guy with the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk so they went to see what was the matter. When they asked him what was wrong he tearily said, "I just saw my wife and she was on a skateboard!"
Urgent Pee
Two women go out one weekend without their husbands. As they came back, right before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk they stopped and decided to go there anyway. The first one did not have anything to clean herself with, so she took off her panties and used them to clean herself and discarded them. The second not finding anything either, thought “I’m not getting rid of my panties...” so she used the ribbon of a flower wreath to clean herself.
The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone, and one says to the other: “We have to be on the look-out, it seems that these two were up to no good last night, my wife came home without her panties....”
The other one responded: “You’re lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her ass that read, “We will never forget you.”
Mowing the lawn
One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
I calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass.
Summer Camp action
One summer, a college student gets a job cutting trees in Northern Canada. Not long after he arrives in the camp he asks one of the old hands what they do for some action.
"Not much action up here," the old hand says, "unless you fancy the cook, Wong."
"No thanks, I'm not into that shit," the student replies.
Days turn into weeks. College boy can't take it any more, so he approaches the old hand and asks, "If I were into that shit, how much would it cost?"
"$50," the old hand replies.
"$50? for Wong?"
"Well $10 for Wong," says the old hand. "Then there's $20 for me and $20 for my partner."
"You and your partner? What for?"
"We hold Wong down. He's not into that shit either."
Italian foul-mouth
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice.Den I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm justa tellin' my frienda how to spella "Mississippi".
Strange company
A car battery, a jumper cable and a bra walk into a pub. The bra asks the barman for 3 pints of beer.
The barman says “No way am I serving any alcohol to you three”.
“Why not?” asks the bra.
“Because you’re off your tits, and your friends look like they wanna start something!”
Blonde mailbox
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL.""
Dirty law sayings
Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty In A Law Firm, But Aren’t!
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge.
8. Counsellor lets do it in chambers.
7. Her solicitor withdrew at the last minute
6. Is it a penal offence?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on!
4. For £200 per hour, he better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
1. Think you can get me off?
Drunk Babe
A man walks into a bar. He sees a good looking, smartly dressed woman sitting on a bar stool. He walks up behind her and says, "Hi there, how's it going?"
Having already had a few drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen! I'll screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter."
He says, "No kidding, I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?
I think I had one of those in Amsterdam a few years ago.
JR
Played an hour of Sega, lost a hundred bucks. In the meantime I'm moving up to 10th in the contest ha ha ha ha
I'm now in the money at 10th and moving up. Trying to end up in 1.618th place ha ha ha ha
what the heck is a grub?
JR
The x-box is very popular.
JR
OS = 43,228,412 as of 9:27 AM PST 1/9/03
thx to Dunit for those numbers
JR