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>ITALIAN GENTLEMAN
>
>
>A virile, middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his
>favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young
>blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his
>apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he
>rattled her senseless.
>
>After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?" She
>paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No." Surprised, Guido
>reached for her and the rattling resumed This time she thrashed about
>wildly and there were screams of passion.
>
>The sex finally ends and,again, Guido smiles and asks,
> "You finish?" Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles
>closer to him and softly says, "No."
>Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied,
>Guido reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he
>barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and
>ripping the bed sheets.
>
> Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping. Barely
>able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked
>again, "You finish?"
>
>Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispers in his ear, "No, I 'm
>Norwegian."
ATTORNEY'S ADVICE --NO CHARGE
Read this and make a copy for your files in case you need to refer to it
someday. Maybe we should all take some of his advice! A corporate
attorney sent the following out to the employees in his company.
1. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put "PHOTO ID REQUIRED."
2. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT
put the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put the last
four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone
who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing
channels won't have access to it.
3. Put your work phone on your checks! instead of your home phone. If you
have a PO Box, use that instead of your home address. If you do not have a PO
Box, use your work address. Never have your SS! # printed on your checks.
(DUH!) You can add it if it is necessary. But if you have it printed, anyone can
get it.
4. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine. Do both sides of
each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and
all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the
photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel
either here or abroad. We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's
committed on us in stealing a name, address, Social Security number, credit cards.
Unfortunately, I, an attorney, have firsthand knowledge because my wallet was
stolen last month. Within a week, the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly
cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved
to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my
driving record information online, and more. But here's some critical information to
limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:
5. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the
key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know
whom to call. Keep those where you can find them.
6. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit
cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and
this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).
But here's what is perhaps most important of all: (I never even thought to do
this.)
7. Call the 3 national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a
fraud alert on your name and also call the Social Security fraud line number.
I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me
an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name. The alert
means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen,
and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.
By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the
damage had been done. There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the
thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then,
no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this
weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks.
Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet, etc.,
that has been stolen:
1.) Equifax: 1-800-525-6285
2.) Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742
3.) Trans Union: 1-800-680-7289
4.) Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271
This had me laughing out loud sometimes!
On April 29, 2006 at the 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner, Bush invited a Bush impersonator named Steve Bridges to share the dais with him. The premise was that the impersonator was Bush's conscience, interpreting Bush's words with what he really meant. A 20-second sound and video bite hit the newscasts, but this is the whole enchilada.
Whether you like him or hate him, turn up the sound.....sit back and relax for a few minutes...you're in for a laughing treat.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1921276117304287501&q=genre:com
#1 ROFLMAO
Ken do you think ZVXI gave it away 2 days earlier with the stocks crossing?
I have found my sole mate. Hee,hee.
Subject: MISS BEATRICE!!
>>
>>
>> Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and
>>had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and
>>kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and
>>she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to
>>have a seat while she prepared tea.
>>
>> As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister
>>noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled
>>with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When
>>she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
>>
>> The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of
>>water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him
>>and He could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder
>>if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
>>
>> "Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking
>>through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package
>>on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep
>>it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know
>>I haven't had the flu all winter."
What the F#$%$^%$deK happened. no news and all this volume and down. makes no sense.
Ken...IN...notice the aroon and stochs in here!
TMY
Transmeridian Exploration announces signing of 25-yr production contract for South Alibek (TMY) 2.68 -0.11 : Co announces that its 25-yr production contract for the South Alibek field has been signed and officially registered by the governmental authorities in Kazakhstan. The contract initially covers the approved 3,500 acre commercial area within the 14,000 acre South Alibek license area.
BEE good. Hee,hee
STAA on watch
PTT look at this one. Where were we. LOL
Must be a female station. LOL
Everything is on. I just geta a blip sound when I click on to hear the soung. ??????????????
Every thing is turned on cause can play music from other sites!
The songs do not play . What am I doing wrong. LOL
CYMI
It should be good for a few days. Like the setup.
Thanks mike, chart looking good.
BHIP todays mover.
Stew
AFML
Had to use Big charts cause Stockcharts does not display it.
http://biz.yahoo.com/cnw/070108/aerofoam_alufoam_deal.html?.v=1
Voted Best Joke in Ireland 2006
http://www.investorshub.com/boards/read_msg.asp?message_id=16064858
The buckeye nut
Voted Best Joke in Ireland 2006
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
Now you can switch to Caribou, and own thier stock too!
I'm a [poet and don't know it. Hee,hee
I hate when they gap like that. LOL
TREX
Sounds like me. LOL
Not to worry she has no competition.
I know, I met her and she is terrific.
AAV Canadian oil trust
paying 17.4% yield and going back up soon.
Thanks for the lesson.
Would you then buy calls on this at this time, and which ones?
.<font color=red>May you all Have A Happy, Healthy and Prosperus New Year!!!!!!!!!
.<font color=red>May you all Have A Happy, Healthy and Prosperus New Year
GROW been watching this for over a year and it's still growing.
PHO water going to be big
AA pair of aces
ALLI