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For your morning reading pleasure:
I LOVE MY JOB
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!
This is even funnier when you realize it's real!
Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.
Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.~
Regards,
Bob
isn't that what he does best - lol
they're not trying it, they're doing it. it is their answer to the medicare and social security implosion. if we don't vote them out in '10 and get somebody in who will start steering us the right direction we are doomed as a nation.
RNC needs to be contacted by everyone with email capability insisting that they withdraw all current and future support from snowe, collins, spector, and ANY so-called republican who supports any of this trash.
...and it is high time they started placing strategic opponents in the dem's own backyard for next election. we can crush an acorn with a sledge hammer of conservatism. just gotta start swinging it.
maybe one avenue would be to start emailing Palin and prodding her to start speaking out nationally. if she's the future of the conservative republican party, she can start now and create an uncomfortable two years for reid-a-losi and zero.
This is gonna be his 5th Championship - just watch. When other drivers get 85 or more wins I'll think they're good too - lol
i think so - if not he will think tony is gonna bump him and bump himself out of the races - lol
kyle won't win three races this year you pukes - lol
would help if he learned how to drive with other cars on the track too - lol
Mick,
Sorry I didn't find out earlier. Have been out of pocket for a few weeks.
Just know my friend - we will keep you in our Prayers constantly. Lean on me anytime you need to. I know the importance of friends at a time like this, and there are certainly some class friends here.
Again, may God Bless you and keep you strong.
Jim
Phil - always remember this "the older you get, the younger older people look"
God Bless you and yours and Merry Christmas.
Jim
I know it was Phil - that's still my problem. I guess I'm still in a fog, but the Good Lord is keeping me on my feet. I'm probably about as adjusted as I will ever be, but I have a heart full of wonderful memories to cling to.
Thanks again for the kindness.
Any thought about us setting up a qualifying pick next year?
Phil - they can have my first place winnings next year! For sure! or anything else I might win.
btw - thanks for the Memorial
Sue,
For an old South Carolina hillbilly, at least I did one thing right - it's hard to imagine going on but I know she is still by my side.
We were, and still are ONE.
Thanks for the kindness,
Jim
The country is still conservative......let's get Palin/Jindal started now in taking our country back..........c'mon Newt - jump in and help. Newt would be a great Secretary of State - someone who would FINALLY clean the rot gut liberals out of the Department of State and let "America First" folks run OUR department.
gimme the 1 2 24 48 this week. thanks
Thank you Gary!!!!!
most of the people voting on Nov 4th "didn't think" at all -
"in my opinion, if you keep taking from the rich to give to the poor, instead of making the poor rich, you make the rich become poor. All you have left is "poor" and who do you take from then???"
America is in for some hard times but we will overcome.....
"What is a Veteran?"
"They are men and women who, for many reasons, donned the uniform of our country to stand between freedom and tyranny; to take up the sword of justice in defense of the liberties we hold dear; to preserve peace and to calm the winds of war.
Your mothers and fathers, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, your neighbors, the shop owners in your community, your teachers, your favorite athlete, a Hollywood star, and your political leaders... each one could be a veteran.
But as much as they may differ by gender, race, age, national origin, or profession, they share a common love for our great nation; a love great enough to put their very lives on the line, if need be, to guarantee the way of life we enjoy today, and to secure that way of life for tomorrow's generations.
The title “veteran” must be earned. It is a title endowed by a grateful nation on citizens whose shoulders were broad enough to carry the weight of our common defense.
It is a title that speaks of courage and sacrifice in the face of mortal danger.
It is a title that speaks of compassion and heartbreak in the wake of the terrible cost of war.
And it is a title that speaks of love of country, and of a belief in America’s goodness, and our strength.
In each of America’s struggles, heroes in uniform emerged to inspire and spur us on to victory. Our veterans’ steadfast resolve to stand and fight for the American way of life is a constant reminder that the righteousness of our destiny overarches the anguish of our losses.
America’s servicemen and women, who became our nation’s veterans when they set their uniforms aside and resumed their civilian lives, distinguished themselves through their willingness to risk life and limb in defense of the freedoms we all cherish.
Those who have served our nation in uniform are the best people our society has to offer. We owe them our full support, and our sincerest thanks."
"What is a Veteran?"
"They are men and women who, for many reasons, donned the uniform of our country to stand between freedom and tyranny; to take up the sword of justice in defense of the liberties we hold dear; to preserve peace and to calm the winds of war.
Your mothers and fathers, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, your neighbors, the shop owners in your community, your teachers, your favorite athlete, a Hollywood star, and your political leaders... each one could be a veteran.
But as much as they may differ by gender, race, age, national origin, or profession, they share a common love for our great nation; a love great enough to put their very lives on the line, if need be, to guarantee the way of life we enjoy today, and to secure that way of life for tomorrow's generations.
The title “veteran” must be earned. It is a title endowed by a grateful nation on citizens whose shoulders were broad enough to carry the weight of our common defense.
It is a title that speaks of courage and sacrifice in the face of mortal danger.
It is a title that speaks of compassion and heartbreak in the wake of the terrible cost of war.
And it is a title that speaks of love of country, and of a belief in America’s goodness, and our strength.
In each of America’s struggles, heroes in uniform emerged to inspire and spur us on to victory. Our veterans’ steadfast resolve to stand and fight for the American way of life is a constant reminder that the righteousness of our destiny overarches the anguish of our losses.
America’s servicemen and women, who became our nation’s veterans when they set their uniforms aside and resumed their civilian lives, distinguished themselves through their willingness to risk life and limb in defense of the freedoms we all cherish.
Those who have served our nation in uniform are the best people our society has to offer. We owe them our full support, and our sincerest thanks."
picks 8 12 24 48 thanks
this about says it all doesn't it?
"Conservatives Unite! 2012 is closer than you think!"
yesterday was the busiest day this year for our local gun retailers -
that would be great - we can pull this thing out if everyone will get off the couch today and vote. i still think there are more live conservatives than there are dead democrats
yes! the whole family voted early.
Today we've got the whole world in our hands! Up and at 'em!!
in the event bammy wins today - everyone should send a letter or email to President Bush insisting that he issue an unprecedented number of Executive Orders protecting ALL those things that bammy will try to change.
it will be used to remove your second amendment rights without a doubt - that will ensure control of the populace
“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.”
Thomas Jefferson
this sums up bammys feelings about America and our Constitution:
Folks! Just a word to the wise from and old veteran: obama now says he will start a civilian armed force equililent to our military and he will fund and arm it to equal our military.
That my friends, is no different than sadam's republican guard or hitler's storm troops.......they WILL be after our constitutional rights like the right to bear arms.........it will be nothing more than a bunch of radical armed thugs trying to take over OUR AMERICA.
We can't let it happen on our watch, so VOTE PLEASE.....VOTE
gimme 1 6 24 48 - thanks
Be prepared! Be very prepared! DO NOT SIT THIS ONE OUT!!!!!
Erica Jong Tells Italians Obama Loss 'Will Spark the Second American Civil War. Blood Will Run in the Streets'
by Jason Horowitz | October 30, 2008
It seems that the final days of the presidential campaign have made Erica Jong and her friends more than a little anxious.
A few days ago, Jong, the author and self-described feminist, gave an interview to the Italian daily Corriere della Sera, the choicest bits of which were brought to my attention by the reliably sharp-eyed Christian Rocca, the U.S. correspondent of Il Foglio, who published excerpts on his Camillo blog. Basically, Jong says her fear that Obama might lose the election has developed into an "obsession. A paralyzing terror. An anxious fever that keeps you awake at night." She also says that her friends Jane Fonda and Naomi Wolf are extremely worried that Obama will be sabotaged by Republican dirty tricks, and that if an Obama loss indeed comes to pass, the result will be a second American Civil War.
Here's a translation of Jong's more spirited quotes to the Milan-based Corriere, as selected by Rocca.
"The record shows that voting machines in America are rigged."
"My friends Ken Follett and Susan Cheever are extremely worried. Naomi Wolf calls me every day. Yesterday, Jane Fonda sent me an email to tell me that she cried all night and can't cure her ailing back for all the stress that has reduces her to a bundle of nerves."
"My back is also suffering from spasms, so much so that I had to see an acupuncturist and get prescriptions for Valium."
"After having stolen the last two elections, the Republican Mafia…"
"If Obama loses it will spark the second American Civil War. Blood will run in the streets, believe me. And it's not a coincidence that President Bush recalled soldiers from Iraq for Dick Cheney to lead against American citizens in the streets."
"Bush has transformed America into a police state, from torture to the imprisonment of reporters, to the Patriot Act."
She also laments that not all of America's men of letters share her devotion to Obama.
"Tom Wolfe and John Updike are men of the right and Philip Roth is at this point a hermit who leads a monastic life in Connecticut, far from everything and everybody."
Luckily, she said there is her and Michael Chabon, who, she says, have "taken the place of Susan Sontag and Norman Mailer respectively."
They have the same political sensibilities, she said, but a better "sense of humor."
http://www.observer.com/2008/politics/erica-jong-tells-italians-obama-loss-will-spark-second-american-civil-war-blood-will-r
Be prepared! Be very prepared! DO NOT SIT THIS ONE OUT!!!!!
Erica Jong Tells Italians Obama Loss 'Will Spark the Second American Civil War. Blood Will Run in the Streets'
by Jason Horowitz | October 30, 2008
It seems that the final days of the presidential campaign have made Erica Jong and her friends more than a little anxious.
A few days ago, Jong, the author and self-described feminist, gave an interview to the Italian daily Corriere della Sera, the choicest bits of which were brought to my attention by the reliably sharp-eyed Christian Rocca, the U.S. correspondent of Il Foglio, who published excerpts on his Camillo blog. Basically, Jong says her fear that Obama might lose the election has developed into an "obsession. A paralyzing terror. An anxious fever that keeps you awake at night." She also says that her friends Jane Fonda and Naomi Wolf are extremely worried that Obama will be sabotaged by Republican dirty tricks, and that if an Obama loss indeed comes to pass, the result will be a second American Civil War.
Here's a translation of Jong's more spirited quotes to the Milan-based Corriere, as selected by Rocca.
"The record shows that voting machines in America are rigged."
"My friends Ken Follett and Susan Cheever are extremely worried. Naomi Wolf calls me every day. Yesterday, Jane Fonda sent me an email to tell me that she cried all night and can't cure her ailing back for all the stress that has reduces her to a bundle of nerves."
"My back is also suffering from spasms, so much so that I had to see an acupuncturist and get prescriptions for Valium."
"After having stolen the last two elections, the Republican Mafia…"
"If Obama loses it will spark the second American Civil War. Blood will run in the streets, believe me. And it's not a coincidence that President Bush recalled soldiers from Iraq for Dick Cheney to lead against American citizens in the streets."
"Bush has transformed America into a police state, from torture to the imprisonment of reporters, to the Patriot Act."
She also laments that not all of America's men of letters share her devotion to Obama.
"Tom Wolfe and John Updike are men of the right and Philip Roth is at this point a hermit who leads a monastic life in Connecticut, far from everything and everybody."
Luckily, she said there is her and Michael Chabon, who, she says, have "taken the place of Susan Sontag and Norman Mailer respectively."
They have the same political sensibilities, she said, but a better "sense of humor."
http://www.observer.com/2008/politics/erica-jong-tells-italians-obama-loss-will-spark-second-american-civil-war-blood-will-r
too good to pass up - lol and so true
too good to pass up - lol and so true
...a gotta read article.....
http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/police-prepare-for-unrest-2008-10-21.html