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Can someone please increase the font size, I can't see which board I'm on....
MBOT
you know that you're getting old when you take so many pills that have to be taken "half in the morning & half at night" that you go out & buy a pill splitter...
THE SENILITY PRAYER: Grant me the senility to forget people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into ones I do, and eyesight to tell the difference.
Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had 2 final requests.
1st, she wanted to be cremated, and
2nd, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, class was over.
I've sure gotten old! I've had 2 bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to black outs. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
Just before funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "2 years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
You should put the song by Bob Seagar "Like a Rock" in the ibox while people are reading it. I have to listen to that song when I'm feeling a little to full of myself and it brings me back to reality.
Wave of pain to come for boomers
Pain series
TODAY: While statistics indicate that boomers will live longer than any previous generation, pain specialists worry that the quality of life may be severely compromised.
Working through the pain not so productive Until recently, it was assumed that pain caused lost productivity at work when hurting employees took time off.As boomers hit their `achy-breaky' years, they are bracing for the tsunami of pain that comes with living longer
Oct 06, 2007 04:30 AM
David Graham
Living Reporter
Ten years ago, Anna Di Rezze woke up suddenly in the middle of the night. For no apparent reason, she was in agonizing pain.
"I was alone in bed and I couldn't move," she recalls.
"I felt as if someone had hit me with a baseball bat. I thought I was having a stroke," says the 48-year-old U of T grad student. "I took Tylenol and Aspirin. And in the morning I was still incredibly stiff."
Though it took a year, Di Rezze, who had always been active, particularly as an enthusiastic equestrian, was finally diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.
Pain has been part of her life ever since. She's continued to work and ride horses. She married and recently returned to school. But her life has never been the same.
"In 10 years I have never been out of pain. I just have higher and lower levels and luckily I have more good days than bad," she says.
Over the years Di Rezze has been prescribed a variety of medications, including Celebrex for the pain of arthritis. She's dabbled in magnetic therapies, herbs and acupuncture.
"Now I feel flare-ups coming and I prepare myself. I can feel the heat building in my arm and I can see my hands curling up."
As aging baby boomers enter their "achy-breaky" years, scientists and researchers are scrambling to discover remedies for the tsunami of pain that threatens to cripple the population over the next few decades.
While statistics indicate that boomers will live longer than any previous generation, pain specialists worry the quality of life during those final years may be severely compromised by the many and varied pains associated with growing old. That includes pain from cancer, musculoskeletal and joint disorders, neck and back pain, as well as headaches and migraine.
Dr. Mary Lynch, president-elect of the Canadian Pain Society, sees the killer wave coming.
Lynch is a professor of psychiatry, anesthesiology and pharmacology at Dalhousie University and director of the pain management unit at the QE2 Health Sciences Centre in Halifax. She cites Canada's Dr. Dwight Moulin's study on pain, which estimates 29 per cent of Canadians aged 18 years and older suffer from chronic pain.
"That number is going to explode as the population ages," she says.
Moulin, a physician at London Health Sciences Centre in London, Ont., is a leading researcher in cancer pain. He has commented: "In the developed world, approximately one in three individuals will be diagnosed with cancer and one-half of those will die of progressive disease. At least 75 per cent of patients with cancer develop pain before death. It is therefore not surprising that pain is one of the most feared consequences of cancer for both patients and families."
As Woody Allen once cracked: "It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
Remarkably, Di Rezze counts herself lucky, if only because she has learned relatively early in life how to cope with persistent pain.
Millions of aging boomers are going to learn her lessons, says Lynch.
From the gnawing agony of arthritis to the torture of cancer pain, the scientific medical community is determined to tame this multi-tentacled beast.
There is a lot of territory to cover. Despite the warnings, too many hospitals continue to under-treat pain. Wait times in both private and public clinics can encourage sufferers to medicate themselves. And still, too few medical schools are teaching pain management, says Lynch.
Yet amidst all the agony, there is hope, mostly because pain is finally being taken seriously as a disease in its own right, no longer considered just a maddening side effect of other illnesses and trauma.
"I have been working in pain for the past 25 years and for most of that time it was a backwater," says Mike Salter, director of the Centre for the Study of Pain at the U of T. He's buoyed by the fact pain is now an exciting field that's beginning to attract more researchers.
Canada, in fact, has become a world leader in pain research, says Lynch.
And members of the boomer generation will be the ultimate benefactors. Often characterized as self-indulgent, boomers – unlike previous generations – are less likely to suffer silently and will not tolerate a medical community that makes them feel crazy simply because they want relief for what seems like an inexplicable pain.
We need to get on top of this issue now, says Lynch.
Enormous strides have been made in the understanding of the mechanics of pain, particularly the difference between acute and chronic pain.
Acute pain (pain following a surgical procedure or from an accident, for example), is understandable and treatable pharmacologically, says Salter.
But chronic pain, which persists beyond the time when normal healing should have taken place, points to an unhealthy nervous system, he says. And that's a considerably more complicated issue. "Think of those pain messages being stuck in the `on' position," says Lynch. "The nervous system is hyper-sensitized and keeps firing in the absence of pain-related events."
"Science is now focusing on finding new ways to restore healthy function to the nervous system," Salter says.
And he's optimistic.
"It is not science-fiction," he says, "to contemplate a world in which all pain is treatable, particularly since the important breakthroughs in neuroscience in the early to mid-'90s. In a perfect world, people will decide how much pain they are willing to endure. They'll balance the negative side effects of their treatment against the pain relief."
Montreal's Dr. Ronald Melzack got the ball rolling in 1965 when he and British physiologist Patrick Wall published their famous gate-control theory.
According to their research, psychological and environmental factors can influence how we feel pain. Sometimes the source of pain is in the brain, which they suggest, explains phenomenon such as phantom limb pain.
Melzack, a professor emeritus at McGill University and associate of the McGill Centre for Research on Pain, says their groundbreaking theory "triggered a revolution in the research of pain. It put the brain front and centre as an integral part of our understanding of pain. It brought the field of psychology to the understanding of pain."
Melzack is convinced new pharmacological advances in pain alleviation will come from the study of antidepressants, anti-epilepsy drugs and cannabinoids – treatments that serve to dampen down nerve firing.
Pharmaceutical giants spend millions researching magic bullets. It's big business. And as boomers age, it's about to get bigger.
In 2006 in Canada, 26 million prescriptions for painkillers were issued, according to IMS Health Canada, representing sales of more than $800 million.
But pain specialists know drugs alone are not the answer. Pain has to be attacked on a variety of fronts.
Dr. Allan Gordon, director of the Wasser Pain Management Centre at Toronto's Mount Sinai Hospital, confirms that patients treated with a multidisciplinary approach consistently do better than patients who rely on drugs alone. Lynch agrees: "Appropriate pain management needs a holistic approach."
The Wasser clinic, opened in 1999, treats pain on many levels – opioids, including narcotic pain medications such as codeine, fentanyl, morphine and oxycodone; injection therapies such as nerve-blocking epidurals and Botox; physical therapies to tone the body's defence network; behavioural techniques such as relaxation and biofeedback as well as psychotherapy that addresses the fear, anxiety and depression associated with pain.
The team approach at Wasser, which treats chronic pain not related to cancer, uses the expertise of neurologists, dentists, anesthesiologists, gynecologists and even sex therapists.
Doctors involved in pain management are not discounting any treatment options, from implants and patches to hypnosis and acupuncture.
"What we know is that there are many ways to change the way someone feels. What about the power of spirituality and music?" Gordon wonders. "These should be researched more," he says.
Pain specialists continue to work on technologies such as pumps that send pain medication directly to the spinal cord and pain pacemakers, devices implanted in the body to deliver low-level electrical signals to the spinal cord or to specific nerves.
Researchers are experimenting with genetics and there are murmurings of stem-cell technologies.
McGill psychology professor Dr. Jeffrey Mogil is the Canada Research Chair in the Genetics of Pain and a member of the McGill Centre for Research on Pain, which was created in 2003 and now has 30 full and 17 associate members.
The relationship between genes and pain represents the newest and perhaps most promising research. "We want to know why only a small portion of people with certain disorders feel intense pain while others are largely unaffected.
"The answer may be in the genetic variations between people," says Mogil.
"There has to be a genetic component," he says. "When 100 people are in the same car accident and only six go on to experience chronic neuropathic pain, unless the injuries were different, the six sufferers must have a genetic susceptibility to their pain. And when 100 people get headaches and some respond better to ibuprofen than others, then we suspect the issue may be genetic," says Mogil.
"There are a lot of people around the world working on many, many theories," says Salter. "Which ones will pan out is hard to know."
But boomers are not stoics, says Lynch. "As a demographic, they are used to taking an active role in their health. They'll be politically pro-active. They'll want answers."
ok..this is bad...
This couple had been married for 48 years.
They went to the doctor together but had separate appointments.
The doctor while in with the husband said well I have good news
and bad news....
Dr. said, you're doing great and look to be in fine shape..
but your wife either has Alzheimer's or AIDS....
The husband said....well doctor, there's a pretty big
difference there..what do I do?
We can't afford any expensive testing.
The doctor said,
Take her out for a drive in the country and leave her there.
If she finds her way back home.....don't have sex with her!
"Flick-it"...it...it...
did move! Damn dog.
''Flickit-it'' just a little ... see if it moves .....
so the other day, a big ole freckle shows up on my arm.
What's up with that?
Breakthrough Botanical for Joint Pain
Thursday July 26, 5:07 am ET
The Power of Shea Can Keep Your Exercise Plan on Track
EGG HARBOR TWP., N.J., July 26 /PRNewswire/ -- The shea nut is making inroads as a proven way to combat inflammation and joint pain, naturally. The inflammation reducing properties of shea nut compounds called triterpenes make it the most powerful inflammation fighter of any known botanical.
ADVERTISEMENT
If you are dealing with joint pain and want to begin or continue an exercise program, shea could be an important part of your plan to stay active and keep joint pain at bay, according to Len Smith, President & CEO of BSP Pharma which makes FlexNow (TM) Joint Formula, a dietary supplement with only one active ingredient shea nut triterpenes.
"It's a vicious cycle," said Smith. "If your joints ache, you're less likely to exercise. And if you don't exercise, your joint problems are likely to get worse," he says.
At 62, Smith, a creative innovator, was instrumental in bringing the revolutionary nutraceuticals Beano and Lactaid to millions who suffer from chronic digestive disorders. He is using FlexNow Joint Formula to enhance his own workout regimen. An avid bicyclist, he makes it an annual tradition to pedal his age in miles each spring for his birthday and usually follows up with a 100-mile cycle trek each summer.
The power lies in the unique complex of shea nut triterpenes that occur naturally in the shea nut -- the pit of the fruit of the karite tree, gathered in the wild in Africa.
Shea has been known for centuries for its health benefits as a food and topical preparation. It's the same source of shea butter, long a component of quality cosmetics and even gourmet chocolate. The inflammation reducing qualities of shea have only recently been discovered.
Pharmacological and clinical research has confirmed inflammation reducing properties of the shea nut triterpenes. Unlike glucosamine and MSM, shea nut triterpenes work to reduce inflammation directly, stimulating joint health. And some of the best and brightest minds in joint inflammation and arthritis research are taking a fresh look at shea nut triterpenes. Clinical studies can be found by visiting http://www.flexnow.us
A major benefit is safety. At BSP Pharma, makers of FlexNow Joint Formula, comprehensive research has uncovered no allergies or gastric distress associated with using shea nut triterpenes for joint health. And it's compatible with anticoagulant medications like Coumadin. Additionally FlexNow Joint Formula was one of only seven dietary supplement products accepted by the FDA in 2004 to meet all the safety and toxicology requirements under the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act.
No matter what the activity -- golf, jogging, swimming, hiking, cycling and aerobics -- they all come easier when joint pain isn't getting in the way. "It's simple, really. If your joints feel better, you are going to enjoy exercise more with renewed energy to get out and get moving," Smith says.
Lactaid® is a registered trademark of Johnson & Johnson.
Beano® is a registered trademark of GlaxoSmithKline.
Coumadin® is a registered trademark of Bristol-Myers Squibb Company.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Source: BSP Pharma, Inc.
On his wedding night, the old man disappears briefly into the bathroom. Soon he emerges wearing a condom with a clothespin on his nose and cotton stuffed in his ears. "If there's anything I can't stand" he says "it's the smell of burning rubber and the sound of a screaming woman"!
OK so this old guy in his nineties is about to marry this young girl in her twenties but his family is unhappy about it. So, the night before the wedding his son comes to him and says Pop, you aren't really going to go through with this are you? "Yes, I am". Surely you don't plan to have sex with her! "Of course I do". But Pop, a man in your condition having sex with a young girl like that...well, it could be fatal. "Hey, she dies, she dies".
You know you're getting old when...
1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.
2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
4. Your back goes out but you stay home.
5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
8. When happy hour is a nap.
9. When you're on vacation and your ENERGY runs out before your money does.
10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to You, and you always hated it.
11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
21. It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
24. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
In addition to not buying any green banannas, I've decided to invest in a new lifesaver:
If I got a franchise I wonder if JB would be interested?
To validate this board:
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Posted by: PelagicMariner
In reply to: None Date:7/3/2007 1:17:32 PM
Post #of 382
$1.00 ask!?
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Posted by: Churak
In reply to: PelagicMariner who wrote msg# 375 Date:7/3/2007 1:17:48 PM
Post #of 382
market is closed
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Alzheimer's linked to poor sense of smell
Study finds those who do poorly on odour tests more likely to show mental decline over time
Jul 03, 2007 04:30 AM
Associated Press
CHICAGO–Difficulty identifying common smells such as lemon, banana and cinnamon may be the first sign of Alzheimer's disease, according to a study that could lead to scratch-and-sniff tests to determine a person's risk for the progressive brain disorder.
Such tests could be important if scientists find ways to slow or stop Alzheimer's and the memory loss associated with it. For now, there's no cure for the more than 5 million Americans and estimated 300,000 Canadians over 65 with the disease.
Researchers have long known that microscopic lesions considered the hallmarks of Alzheimer's first appear in a brain region important to the sense of smell. "Strictly on the basis of anatomy, yeah, this makes sense," said Robert Franks, an expert on odour perception and the brain at the University of Cincinnati. Franks was not involved in the study, appearing in yesterday's Archives of General Psychiatry.
Other studies have linked loss of smell to Alzheimer's, Franks said, but this is the first one to measure healthy people's olfactory powers and follow them for five years, testing for signs of mental decline.
In the study, 600 people between the ages of 54 and 100 were asked to identify a dozen familiar smells: onion, lemon, cinnamon, black pepper, chocolate, rose, banana, pineapple, soap, paint thinner, gasoline and smoke. For each mystery scent, they were given a choice of four answers. A quarter of the people correctly identified all the odours or missed only one. Half of them knew at least nine of the 12. The lowest-scoring quarter correctly identified eight or fewer of the odours.
The subjects took 21 cognitive tests annually over the next five years. Those who made at least four errors on the odour test were 50 per cent more likely to develop memory problems than people who made no more than one error. Difficulty identifying odours also was associated with a higher risk of progressing from mild cognitive impairment to Alzheimer's.
Happy Canucklehead Day to you as well...is a beauty of a day out there...enjoy!
Thanks Chu,
I came to the conclusion a while ago that by grimly holding on to a roguish "devil may care" attitude, (augmented by copious quantities of JD, in vino confuso, hence an excuse), I have managed to hold off many of the facets of maturity that invariably lead to premature dotage.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Have a great Canada Day.
OrT
ROTF...welcome to my world...
Geez Chu,
What an uplifting Ibox. I must make a point to drop in often to gather some pearls of wisdom from the twilight set.
Thank the gods I'm just a young'un.
ToR
At 40, it seems being female is a depreciating asset
Jul 02, 2007 04:30 AM
Lorraine Sommerfeld
I read the other day that Pam Anderson turned 40. Of course, there is a very large asterisk under that statement, because only a few parts of her actually turned 40. She said she felt great about it. I think she should. Even without a pit crew stripping me down to my chassis and rebuilding me after every race, I felt pretty good about turning 40, too.
There is nothing from my 20s I would like returned, except perhaps my thighs. If I am so inclined, I can pretty much wrestle everything else back into a reasonably inoffensive state of being. Of course, that inclination hinges on many factors, and it is usually easier to change the factors than drum up the inclination.
I see women that run, jump, spin and twist themselves into a female rendition of a greyhound. I could maybe sustain that for a few days, but like the real greyhounds that chase a fake rabbit around an artificial racetrack, I'm not sure that the prize is worth the punishment. I pride myself on having mental discipline, and physically, I let the chips fall where they may. Of course, the chips fall directly on my hips.
I have long cursed my lousy eyesight; glasses since age 8 signalled the beginning of a long decline into the remarkably blurry world I live in today. For vanity's sake, I can tolerate the discomfort of contact lenses for a few hours a day but apparently, according to my doctor, a woman experiences a change in water content in her body over time. I am drying up. I received this information with no grace whatsoever, and told him I was certain I was, like a camel, storing great reserves of water. In the underside of my upper arms.
The Catch-22 with contacts is that I need them in to put makeup on, but I need them out to get it off. I hop into the shower thinking I look like Elle MacPherson, and emerge looking like Alice Cooper. As I scrub off my favoured brand of false promises, I realize, my nose inches away from the mirror, that I actually look younger without it. Every woman I know does; I either know a lot of fabulous looking women, or we're all really, really stupid.
The sellers of bathing suits, however, make makeup companies look positively noble. I would just like a store clerk who will honestly tell me when something looks less awful than the last one.
I stopped believing when my son Jackson, now 12, asked me when he was 4 why my thighs looked all crumply. The clerk the day before hadn't mentioned "crumply," not even once.
While certainly not a woman to pass the blame, I had no choice that day but to inform the wee lad that it was his fault. I had been a veritable gazelle until he and his brother were born.
The Poor Sod Who Lives With Me is nearsighted, an attribute I prize highly in men. Zero-to-Goddess can take hours and a cast of thousands, or the two seconds it takes to remove his glasses. What's crazy is that when I had all the time and dedication in the world, I needed the least amount of work. Now I'm like some building requiring a "historic" designation to receive all the time and resources required to maintain the façade.
It would be nice to be valued for my cultural significance and acquired wisdom instead of being penalized for becoming a depreciating asset. Wisdom is easy to display; an ageless face less so.
Just ask Pammy.
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Lorraine Sommerfeld appears Mondays in Living and Saturdays in Wheels. Reach her via her website lorraineonline.ca.
http://www.thestar.com/living/article/231452
Dang, I better go get a friend...
now where did I put them?
Ha ha...so it's
"More than just a feeling"?
Ahhh...East Coast of...where?
I believe it's a city on the East coast where they dumped tea into the water
my point exactly
Hey now!
I WAS NOT!
I know for a fact that at least 2 people were older than me!
Yes and it was my senility that made me wear sandals in winter!
oh puleaze...you were the "elder statesperson" at our Boston get together!
Yes I am also here just to see if any of the "seniors" need any assistance.
I'm waaaayy too young to understand the I-box though
Ah, I clearly see I'm on the wrong board, well
fairly clearly anyway.
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