Dear (Any Admin but Dave):
I am incarcerated because I share a computer with my 3 year old sulcuata tortoise and it opened an Ihub account. Subsequently, BON QUI QUI JINWAFFLES was restricted from posting on the TALK board.
Unbeknownst to me, my turtle opened a third account because it believed your actions violated it's turtle rights rights under the 28th amendment of the U.S. Constitution. Regrettably, my turtle named BONQUI QUI JINWAFFLES then sent an ill-advised PM to a TALK BASHER in which further violated the TOU with a (violation of NOTHING.
I DONT apologize for my TURTLE and request an early release from jail because I need to prove the Badgers wrong
(Thank you for your consideration, GIVE ME 15 POSTS PER DAY