The Jailhouse

[Satan]

David, I have made the change you requested to the salutation line in the new Jailhouse Release Request template. Please forward to other Admins for review.

Dear (Any Admin but Dave):

I am incarcerated because I share a computer with my (family member/roommate/inflatable doll/dog named Boo) and (he/she/it) opened an Ihub account. Subsequently, my (family member/roommate/inflatable doll/dog named Boo) was restricted from posting on the (ticker symbol) board when (he/she/it) called (Ihub alias) a (paid basher/pumper clown/birther psycho/undisclosed IRP/Miley Cyrus).

Unbeknownst to me, my (family member/roommate/inflatable doll/dog named Boo) opened a third account because (he/she/it) believed your actions violated (his/her/its) (natural/individual/civil/constitutional) rights under the (select ordinal number between 1st-27th) amendment of the U.S. Constitution. Regrettably, my (family member/roommate/inflatable doll/dog named Boo) then sent an ill-advised PM to (choose any one of top 50 here: http://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/toppersonmarks.aspx) in which (he/she/it) further violated the TOU with a (violation of privacy/personal attack) and a (vulgarity/threat).

I apologize for my (family member/roommate/inflatable doll/dog named Boo) and request an early release from jail because I (served my country in Nam/might be lactose intolerant/am a good kisser/caught scabies at a Monkinar/know Ken Eade).

(Thank you for your consideration/Bite me/L2 isn't working).