Replies to post #190516 on Rants and Raves

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Whether or not you are a country music fan, these are truly the words of a deep thinker,
and a highly intelligent person. So simple, yet so profound! Read the words of wisdom from that famous philosopher
Willie Nelson, iconic country and western singer, on his 75th birthday below his esteemed portrait...
Only a man with such wisdom and maturity could be so concise and succinct in phrasing his feelings at this turning point in his life.

"I have outlived my pecker."


A Poem-by Willie Nelson

My nookie days are over,

My pilot light is out.

What used to be my pride and joy,

Is now my water spout.

Time was when, on its own accord,

From my trousers it would spring..

But now I've got a full time job,

To find the f***in' thing.

It used to be embarrassing,

The way it would behave.

For every single morning,

It would stand and watch me shave.

Now as old age approaches,

It sure gives me the blues.

To see it hang its little head,

And watch me tie my shoes!!

[teapeebubbles]

Bill asks a woman out on a date after meeting her in a bar.

She says, "What kind of car do you drive?"

Bill replies " A VW Bug."

She scornfully says, "That's awfully small!"

Bill replies, "Don't worry, I'm not going to screw you with the car."

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A bunch of guys were sitting around the break room talking about sex and women of course and in comes Joe Schmo.

One guy says to the other guys, "Man I just don't understand it. That guy Joe is just an average ordinary looking guy who doesn'thave a lot of money and he gets all the women he wants with the snap of his fingers."

"What the hell does he got that I haven't got?"

And this other guy who is an old timer and has been around awhile looks at the guy and says, "Son let me ask you a question. When you go to the bathroom and you get done whizzing, do you shake your penis with your hand to get off the excess urine?"

And the other guy is kind of puzzled but he says "Well yeah. Of course I do."

"But what does that have to do with Joe getting all the women?"

The old timer looks him in the eye and says "Well son, Ol' Joe over there when he gets done taking a piss, he doesn't shake it, He Kicks It!"

[teapeebubbles]

Don't Pull your Pud