A duck went to a plastic surgeon, 'Im ugly' he said. The plastic surgeon took a photo of the duck and scanned it into a computer. The surgeon then started rearranging the ducks features on the photo and at the same time, told the duck how much it would cost. 'Is that ok?' asked the surgeon, 'no' replied the duck, 'the bills too high!'
A duck walks into a bar. He looks like the happiest duck in the world. The bartender asks, "Why are you so happy today?" The duck replies, "I've been playing in puddles all day." The duck proceeds to order a beer and enjoy it at the bar.
A little while later another duck walks in the bar. He looks like the second happiest duck in the world. The bartender asks, "Why are you so happy today?"
The duck gives the bartender the same answer, "I've been playing in puddles all day." This duck also orders a beer and enjoys it at the bar.
A third duck enters the bar, the total opposite of the first two ducks. He looks like the saddest duck in the world. The bartender asks the duck, "What's wrong with you?"
The duck replies, "My name is Puddles and I've had a terrible day."
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