No, banks are off limits to crooks. Ironic though since banks are crooks.
You need to start a potato mining company, hire some high-water-pants clown to claim you found the oreo load of potatoes, tell everyone you are using some potatoes to create vodka and someone has already offered you $120 Million to buy you out.
Then scoot over to Nova Scotia and hump every craigslist hooker you can find.