*Detailman wakes up in the hospital, bandaged *
*from head to foot.*
* *
*The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see *
*you've regained consciousness. Now, you *
*probably won't remember, but you were in *
*a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to *
*be okay, you'll walk again and everything, *
*but...*
* *
* "Something happened. I'm trying to break *
*this gently, but the fact is, your willy was *
*chopped off in the wreck and we were unable *
*to find it."*
* *
*Detailman groans, but the doctor goes on, *
*"You've got $9000 in insurance compensation*
*coming and we have the technology now to *
*build you a new willy that will work as well *
*as your old one did - better in fact! But the *
*thing* *is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 *
*an inch."*
* *
*Detailman perks up at this.*
* *
*"So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide *
*how many inches you want. But it's *
*something you'd better discuss with your *
*wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, *
*and you decide to go for a nine incher, she *
*might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine *
*inch one before, and you decide only to invest *
*in a five incher this time, she might be *
*disappointed. So it's important that she plays *
*a role in helping you make the decision."*
* *
*Detailman agrees to talk with his wife.*
* *
*The doctor comes back the next day.*
*"So," says the doctor,*
*"have you spoken with your * *wife?"*
* *
*"I have," says Detailman.*
* *
*"And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.*
* *
*"We're getting granite countertops."*