Replies to post #367 on New & improved Swamp (Swamp)

[BagMan]

Paule-

Maybe this will help.

Your experience with the board is yours and yours alone... to bring a bit of philosophy into the mix, the net is a case study in the subjectivity of experience... we see the same posts which exist as objective data displayed identically (for practical purposes) to all that care to look.

Yet the reactions we have and conclusions we draw from the same stimuli are as varied as thenumber of olks that read them.

You have your set of operational definitions and rules of engagement for the net - they lead you to your understanding of what you read, this becomes your reality.

Mine a different. To wit - I had completely 100% forgotten about the ritilin conversations we had long ago, completely forgot about your son... remembered that you were married, was pretty sure you had kids, knew you hung out with onbgg, and maybe ee or was it pre? I dunno.... do you begin to see? I just did not invest alot of time into creating a data file for Paule in my mind. This is not any indication of your value as a person - it just means that you did not trip enough of the interest triggers in my rules of engagement to warrant a large cache, if you will.

Those that do trip that trigger I keep tabs on, exchange email with and in some cases actually meet.

They say the worst love is one unreturned - the same applies to friendship, I did not mean to hurt you in any way. But I am under no obligation to remember stuff about you or pay attention to you just because not doing so might cause you distress.

You seem to forget that you wigged out big time round these parts a while back. THAT I remember... then net is 99% benign and 1% lethal. I pay VERY close attention to any interactions that I deem have the potenial for mischeif - but that potential is the foucs of that attention. You cannot really expect that you can go off like you did and that when you come back, folks that don't KNOW you are going to forget the whole episode.

Let me clarify that a bit - IF I knew you IRL prior to that episode, it is very likely that I WOULD forget about it, I would know a lot more about you, have more detail with which to balance the event etc.

So you can get all indignant about how I dis-ed you but not keeping a dossiere on you if you want to - I cannot control that. But remember this: Life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it... You have taken a neutral event and chosen to create a significant amount of negative energy in your life with it.

I on the other hand, have taken the same event and used it to try, hopefully, to have a positive impact on you, to add a glimpse inot the alternte perspectives out there, which will hopefully help... The same 0's and 1's on your monitor that brought you down or pissed you off, afforded me the opportunity to explore an interesting social event and increase my understand through reflection.

I hope you can salvage something positive from it.

For what its worth - having been thru this with you I will not likley ever forget that you have a son now - the subject has occupied enough of my time and focus that this bit of info will remain.

Take care, but not too much care.... its only the net.

[Vivian]

Paule, hon..

This example of your writing is FAR better than your tirades @ RB. And much more effective.

I'll let you in on a little secret. I 'know' Waif better than you'd imagine, and to him this is not the 'real' world. His perception of RB or any cyber interaction is it's a fun and interesting diversion from his every day world and that's it. NO sharing, no real connections (except with Judd) and no consequences to his actions. I'm certain, IRL, he's a different person.

These same observations hold true for Olafaye. IRL, I'm told he's warm, friendly, gregarious, and generous to a fault. Here, in cyberspace, he is the vicious God-hating, curmudgeon we love to hate.

When Shakespeare said 'all the world's a stage and each of us merely players' he had NO idea how true his words would become.

To you, Paule, this is VERY real and you take everything said to heart. Nyc is the same way. I imagine you are both pretty much the same IRL as you are here.

The problems lie in your inability to see Waif's, Judd's, or even Ola's version of this 'reality' and vice versa. Perception is everything. Your perception becomes your reality, and theirs becomes theirs. Real and not real meet head-on, and both go away scratching their heads and asses and wondering what the hell just happened.

Confusing and conflicting? Always, but it helps if you take a step back and realize it's a matter of how you look through the microscope, and not what you are looking at.



-Viv