lol, stumbled across this post...
reminds me: our senior year in high school was "supposed to be" a big deal for our football team, because it reunited most of the players on our big, giant, successful 7th-grade football team.
Part of the reason we won every game and scored many points was a running back who simply outran everybody...in 7th grade.
By 12th grade, he was overweight--and decidedly *not* outrunning everybody. He had gained so much weight, in fact, (ewww factor) that he had rubbed off the hair on his inner thighs, from their rubbing against each other...
One day we were sitting around after practice and he says:
"Gawlee, fellas, I don't understand it! I been drinking Metrecal with EVERY meal, and I haven't lost even one pound!"