Military EATR: Contractor Working On Horrifying Corpse-Eating Robots
Jason Linkins | HuffPost Reporting First Posted: 07-15-09 11:39 AM | Updated: 07-15-09 12:14 PM
It's not everyday that a person gets to blog about how military contractors are developing terrifying, ironically named robots, which will roam around, feasting on dead flesh until the day comes that they will rise up and kill us all, but guess what? Today is one of those days [ http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,532492,00.html (below)]:
A Maryland company under contract to the Pentagon is working on a steam-powered robot that would fuel itself by gobbling up whatever organic material it can find -- grass, wood, old furniture, even dead bodies.
Robotic Technology Inc.'s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot -- that's right, "EATR" -- "can find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass in the environment (and other organically-based energy sources), as well as use conventional and alternative fuels (such as gasoline, heavy fuel, kerosene, diesel, propane, coal, cooking oil, and solar) when suitable," reads the company's Web site.
That "biomass" and "other organically-based energy sources" wouldn't necessarily be limited to plant material -- animal and human corpses contain plenty of energy, and they'd be plentiful in a war zone.
You know, my editors frown on me for swearing, for good reason, but in this case: SERIOUSLY, PENTAGON, WHAT THE FUCK?!?
I am having a really hard time trying to figure out what the military purpose of a robot that eats dead bodies is. Maybe the idea is these robots will make it difficult for independent observers to quantify casualties? Maybe President Sarah Palin will nominate one to the Supreme Court? The article states that EATR is a "platform" that things could be "built upon" -- like an "ambulance" or a "mobile gunship." But it seems to me that the ambulances and gunships we have now are perfectly okay, and, at any rate, DON'T MAKE MY SOUL HURT.
Speaking of:
The advantages to the military are that the robot would be extremely flexible in fuel sources and could roam on its own for months, even years, without having to be refueled or serviced.
So then: some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. But it looks like it's going to end in a hail of white-hot terror at the hands of marauding, corpse-eating Roombas.
EATR robots roam a barren landscape as an unmanned drone flies overhead in an artist's rendering. Robotic Technology Inc.
An illustration of a hungry EATR robot. Robotic Technology Inc.
FOX NEWS Wednesday, July 15, 2009
It could be a combination of 19th-century mechanics, 21st-century technology — and a 20th-century horror movie.
A Maryland company under contract to the Pentagon is working on a steam-powered robot that would fuel itself by gobbling up whatever organic material it can find — grass, wood, old furniture, even dead bodies.
Robotic Technology Inc.'s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot — that's right, "EATR" — "can find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass in the environment (and other organically-based energy sources), as well as use conventional and alternative fuels (such as gasoline, heavy fuel, kerosene, diesel, propane, coal, cooking oil, and solar) when suitable," reads the company's Web site.
That "biomass" and "other organically-based energy sources" wouldn't necessarily be limited to plant material — animal and human corpses contain plenty of energy, and they'd be plentiful in a war zone.
EATR will be powered by the Waste Heat Engine developed by Cyclone Power Technology of Pompano Beach, Fla., which uses an "external combustion chamber" burning up fuel to heat up water in a closed loop, generating electricity.
The advantages to the military are that the robot would be extremely flexible in fuel sources and could roam on its own for months, even years, without having to be refueled or serviced.
Upon the EATR platform, the Pentagon could build all sorts of things — a transport, an ambulance, a communications center, even a mobile gunship.
In press materials, Robotic Technology presents EATR as an essentially benign artificial creature that fills its belly through "foraging," despite the obvious military purpose.
and of course, nothing whatsoever says the 'biomass and other organically-based energy sources' 'ingested' would have to be dead prior to (capture, err 'finding', and) 'ingestion' -- check out that external combustion chamber engine ( http://www.cyclonepower.com/works.html ) -- "Fuel is [first] atomized and [then] injected into the patented centrifugal combustion chamber...where a spark ignites the fuel-air mixture into a flame..." -- put a few teeth on that grabber, give it a good bite -- . . .
Nissan has developed a mini robotic car that can move autonomously in groups while avoiding crashing into obstacles (including other cars).
The Eporo [ http://www.nissan-global.com/EN/NEWS/2009/_STORY/091001-01-e.html ], Nissan says, is the first robot car designed to move in a group by sharing its position and other information. The aim is to incorporate the technology into passenger cars to reduce accidents and traffic jams.
Although a group of Eporos may look like a gang of cybernetic Jawa [ http://www.starwars.com/databank/species/jawa/ ], Nissan says the cars' design was inspired by the way fish move in schools.
An evolution of the bumblebee-inspired BR23C robot car [ http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-13746_7-10054104-48.html ] unveiled last year, the Eporo uses Nissan's collision avoidance technology to travel in groups. Check out BR23C trying to get away from a Japanese lady in this video [
].
Eporo can dodge obstacles just like fish. (Credit: Nissan
The automaker studied how large schools of fish can move without colliding. It says Eporo imitates three rules of fish movement: avoiding crashes, traveling side by side, and keeping close to other members of the school.
The robots use laser range finders and ultra-wideband radio to determine distance to obstacles. They also communicate with each other to form the most efficient group formation to maneuver through tight spots.
Eporo stands for "Episode O (Zero) Robot." That zinger of a mouthful means zero episodes, as in zero accidents and zero emissions.
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