Replies to post #5049 on The Free Zone Board

[lunasea]

Greetings from lunasea's husband. Back from faraway places.

For those of you who dont believe that I am Jean's husband, oh well, not much I can do about that.

Jean keeps me informed of the discussions she has on these and other boards and the friendships she has developed. To those of you who are her friends, I can tell you that she values those relationships. There is very little she is not passionate about (as I'm sure you know). Being the way she is when she makes a connection, she values it.

I am not here to rush to her defense like some sort of knight in shining armor. I've known her for 11 years. She very rarely needs me to do anything like that. She's quite capable of handling herself. But since some comments were inquring about my motivations and understandings of my relationship with my wife, I thought I'd pipe in. I've been at sea for the last few days and was looking for a way to unwind. (For those of you who insist on thinking with other parts of your anatomy than your brain....that way was already covered and she's asleep now)

I have to say I found many of the posts attacking my wife very funny. ....Demented and sad, but funny.

As for requesting long trips, I dont have a whole lot of say in that. If the performance of my duties in the service of my country require me to be away from my family, I deal with that. Jean and I discussed it at length before I joined. The time apart has always made me appreciate and try and make the most out of the time together. One of the thoughts going through my mind whenever I'm in a port call is whether or not the place would be a good location for a long vacation or second honeymoon. So far the front runners are Halifax, Canada and Tallin, Estonia. So since I'm thinking about her while I'm away, I'm obviously not trying to get away from her. We actually both like having some time apart occasionally. We have many interests. Some we share, some we dont. This gives us the chance to be independant, grow and learn and then come back with new ideas and experinces to share. It keeps things fresh.

As for the "open marriage" concept. Yes I am aware it. If I wasnt it wouldn't be open. We also discuss whatever it is we've done. We are totally honest with each other about it. What it boils down to is trust. We have reached a certain level of trust and understanding with one another that if something happens outside the relationship, it is not going to destroy the foundations we've built over the last 11 years.

Finally I have to say that all the venom being spewed out is really childish. I was shocked to learn that many of the people here are over 40. Most of the "conversation" that I've read sounds like the cast of "Saved by the Bell" attempting a Shakesperan tragedy. It's the kind of sophmoric, popular clique melodrama that makes me glad I'm no longer in high school. Of course many of the students I currently teach in the military are recent high school graduates and they aren't even this bad.

Jean seemed to be the popular topic of conversation here before the "dramatic betrayal" of her invite by Dennis (I think that's who it was, I lost my cast list) So do not label this as some attempt by her to get attention. You did that on your own.

Obviously not everyone agrees or likes what she posts. I dont always agree with her myself. She holds very strong and often unorthodox positions. She's unique, one of the many reasons I love her. If you dont agree with her or like her fine, but at least have enough of a sack to be upfront with it. Being nice to her on one board and trashing her on another is the definition of being two faced. Come to think of it, it is also the definition of a 6th grader. To quote George Carlin, the television has (or it did back in the day) two nobs. One changes the channel and the other turns if off. If you dont like what she says you can either respond intellegently or you can choose to ignore it. This endless circle of swipes is just plain stupid.

I will happily converse with anyone who wishes to either respond to this post (although I doubt I will come back here to check much) or feel free to e-mail me at [e-mail]. That goes for any of her friends and those who dont like her as well. As for me that's all I have for now. I rarely post on boards and am begining to believe that the internet is the greatest waste of time ever invented. My offer still stands though.