Twenty-one Ways to Be a Good Democrat
> > >
> > > 1). You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
> > federal
> > > funding.
> > >
> > > 2). You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach
> > 4th-graders
> > > how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
> > >
> > > 3). You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-bidding Americans
> > are
> > > more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of
> > > Chinese and North Korean communists.
> > >
> > > 4). You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
> > >
> > > 5). You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
> > > cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
> > > soccer moms driving SUV's.
> > >
> > > 6) You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
> > homosexual
> > > is natural.
> > >
> > > 7). You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
> > > demand.
> > >
> > > 8). You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
> > governments
> > > create prosperity.
> > >
> > > 9). You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
> > > activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
> > >
> > > 10). You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
> > actually
> > > doing something to earn it.
> > >
> > > 11). You have to believe that the military, not corrupt politicians
> > start
> > > wars.
> > >
> > > 12). You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain
> > parts
> > of
> > > the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
> > parts
> > > of the Constitution.
> > >
> > > 13). You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
> > high.
> > >
> > > 14). You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
> > more
> > > important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E.
> > Lee,
> > and
> > > Thomas Edison.
> > >
> > > 15). You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
> > > quotas and set-asides are not.
> > >
> > > 16). You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very
> > nice
> > > person.
> > >
> > > 17). You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
> > > anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
> > charge.
> > >
> > > 18). You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
> > jail,
> > but
> > > a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
> > >
> > > 19). You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
> > > transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
> > > manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal
> > >
> > > 20). You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
> > > Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United
> > States.
> > >
> > > 21). You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right
> > wing
> > > conspiracy.
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