Breath in, breath out. Thoughts are like a circle, the go around. Like a child at first, then like a young adult, and like a man, like a grown man, like a wise man, like a genius, like a crazy person, like a child again and the circle is complete. If posible maybe you shold take every second day of. Or something simulary, make a sceduel(spell?). Best Loxxx
Doing my best. Just have too much on my plate. Lots of health issues in the family which is scaring me to death. My small brain can’t take all this misery in. I’m a very soft person. I’m harder than steal on the outside but my inside is like mush. I can only take so much these days. Each year I get older I just get more concerned about the ones I love. I never was like this before. My kids have changed me. This deal has changed me. I came on this trip to relax but I think I should’ve just stayed home and kept busy. I think I’m just having another breakdown. The good thing is I know how to deal with it and I don’t believe I need to be hospitalized. I’m ok with talking about it on this board. People know me pretty good. I have nothing to gain here. I only have this board as my soundboard. I have zero other people to talk to. I’m heading back into therapy when I get back home. I want the kids to know that Daddy is going to keep trying to get better. That’s all I can do. My life has been on hold and now too much is happening. It’s caught up to me. I will take your advice. Breathing is good. So is a night guard. It saves your teeth. lol. It’s the night terrors that are a problem. Rarely happens. Need to stay off the booze. Not a drinker. Rarely touch the stuff. But as you all are aware. Sometimes I go overboard. You can’t do that with kids. Some folk don’t care. I do care. Yelling in my sleep is not cool or responsible. Never had the dreams until years into this deal. Super ashamed. Anyways. I need to start building trust again. I love to say I win all the time, and I do, but at what cost. The fact that my kids are now aware of my bad dreams, this has really freaked me out. This guy is just cooling his heals now and praying that I can make more changes in my life and come back full circle. Like Bruce says, all life is a cycle with ups and downs. He’s absolutely right. Even super strong people can fall and be weak. I am only human. Thanks for your concern Loxxx. I truly appreciate all of your kindness. None of you have to speak out but you choose to and I truly appreciate it. Love is all around you even when you least expect it. All the best to you bud. We will win. Hula Hula Crazy Penny
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