Hi Snow,
Thanks for sharing that. I'm trying hard to get through it. I didn't have as much as you (though I would, if I had just put my money in XIV as I had planned).
I would love to chat sometime (even just e-mail) about this experience and how you got past it because to be honest this is chewing me up. Not to mention the pressure on my finances as I am paycheck to paycheck. I am not a paying member so cannot private message, would post my e-mail here but don't think it's allowed?
The hardest thing for me is actually not the financial situation, though that is bad- it is as you said being unable to forgive myself. I have met a few other people who have done similar and also hard to forgive themselves. I guess it is better than two acquaintances of mine who dove headfirst into shallow water and were paralyzed, I know they would trade places in a second even for a billion dollars.
Anyway my friend, first of all congratulations on recovering from your losses as I know that is hard, and second thanks for sharing because it is good not to think I am alone in this. Best to you.