Replies to post #645 on Sons And Daughters Of BBCMF with Redneck Comedy, C

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y/w

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THE REDNECK SEXUAL APTITUDE TEST:

1.) A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
[ True ] or [False ]

2.) Asphalt describes rectal problems.
[ True ] or [ False ]

3.) Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
[ True ] or [ False ]

4.) Vagina is a medical term used to describe a
Heart Attack.
[ True ] or [ False ]

5.) The clitoris is a type of flower.
[ True ] or [ False ]

6.) A G-string is part of a fiddle.
[ True ] or [ False ]

7.) Semen is a term for sailors.
[ True ] or [ False ]

8.) Anus is a Latin term for yearly.
[ True ] or [ False ]

9.) Testicles are found on an Octopus.
[ True ] or [ False ]

10.) A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.
[ True ] or [ False ]

11.) KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.
[ True ] or [ False ]

12.) Masturbate is used to catch large fish.
[ True ] or [ False ]

13.) Coitus is a musical instrument.
[ True ] or [ False ]

14.) Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
[ True ] or [ False ]

15.) An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.
[ True ] or [ False ]

16.) A condom is a large apartment complex.
[ True ] or [ False ]

17.) An orgasm is a person who accompanies a
church choir.
[ True ] or [ False ]

18.) A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
[ True ] or [ False ]

19.) A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.
[ True ] or [ False ]

20.) An erection is when Japanese people vote.
[ True ] or [ False ]

21.) A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
[ True ] or [ False ]

22.) Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.
[ True ] or [ False ]

23.) Pornography is the business of making records.
[ True ] or [ False ]

24.) Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.
[ True ] or [ False ]

25.) Douche is the French word for "twelve."
[ True ] or [ False ]

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“Redneck Games” Draws Thousands To Watch Mud Belly-Flop And More...

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TOP 10 SIGNS YOU'RE AT A REDNECK WEDDING

10. Rehearsal dinner held at Hooters

9. Instead of "Friends of the bride or friends
of the groom?" Ushers ask "Ford Or Chevy?"

8. Bridesmaids: Pink Tube Tops
Groomsmen: Travis Tritt T-Shirts

7. Phrase "I Do" replaced by "I Heard That"

6. Tender rendition of "The Wedding Song"
performed by Pinkard & Bowden

5. When the minister asks "Who giveth this
woman to be married"...some guy in the
back stands up and hollers "Earnhardt!"

4. Reception conversation includes the phrase,
"So what have you been doing since Hee Haw,
Mr. Lindsay?"

3. Snack trays at reception: Vienna sausages and
Nacho Cheese Doritos

2. Plans for the honeymoon evening include tickets
to the monster truck rally

....And The Number One Way To Tell If You're At A
Redneck Wedding...

1. Sign in front of the church: No Shirt...
No Shoes... No Problem!

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Just a Weeeeeee Bit!!!

"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.

With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman.

Shortly there after he met a Redneck who had three stunning,gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them.

The Redneck simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."

The man dated the first daughter. The next day the Redneck asked for the man's opinion.

"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed."

The Redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went.

"Well,"the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed."

The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming,

"She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry."

So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

"Well," explained the Redneck "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell...................pregnant when you met her."