You have seen them... the "young men", "love of my life"...your daughters bring home?
Well, now it's time to cover yourselves and protect your daughters' well being. Although it's meant in pure fun... many of you MAY want to take it serious. Have fun with it.
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage and medical report from your doctor.
Name:________________________Nickname/Alias:____________________ Date Of Birth:____/____/____ Height:______ Weight:______ I.Q.:______ G.P.A.:________
Soc. Sec.#______-___-_______ Driver's License#____________________ Boy Scout Rank:_____________Good Standing: Yes_____No_____ Home Address:__________________________________ City/State/Zip_________________________________ Home Phone#: (___)___________
Cell Phone#:_______________ Pager#:__________
Do you own a. Van?____ b. Truck with oversized tires?____ c. Car with a trunk full of speakers?_____
Do you have any of the following: a. An earring_____ b. nose ring______ c. belly button ring_____ or piercings on any other body parts_____
NOTE: If you have answered any of the previous questions dishonestly (and I will find out), discontinue application. It is advised that you leave the premises quickly keeping your head low and running in serpentine fashion.
I swear that all information provided above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, electrocution, and/or hot pokers.
_______________________________________ Signature (This means sign your name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 - 6 YEARS for processing. If your application is approved, you will be contacted in writing. Please do not call or write, this could cause you unexpected injury.
If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two men wearing white ties and answering to the names GUIDO and LOUIE.
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