Wave Systems Corp. (fka WAVXQ)

[barge]

Re: The Wavoid Rumor Mill.

I have pasted and linked at the end of this post a verbatim Unclevername transcribed excerpt from a S. Sprague CC.

I will use this single verbatim reply for purposes of explaining how the Rumor Mill almost invariably operates in a nearly perfected dysfunctional manner. I have created an imagined telephone conversation between the multi personality Wavoid, who goes by the name of Nelzoni and the ever-humble, ego-less(AND PROFOUNDLY MISUNDERSTOOD!!!!!!) Barge. With a guest appearance by the indomitable delete-man, Snackman. PLUS, a SURPRISE GUEST!!!

In the below skit, which was put together in the spirit of rather, cough-cough, heavy handed humor, I will be feeding Nelzoni and Snackman with "insider" information that has been lifted verbatim from a single reply that Steven Sprague offered in response to a question presented to him during the CC. The verbatim quotes in the following skit are presented in italics.

WAVOID UBIQUITY PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS!

THE WAVOID RUMOR MILL

A TOP SECRET PHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN NELZONI AND I.

BARGE---Nelzoni, it's me, Bargio. And I got some HOT STUFF direct from the Cookie Crumbler!

NELZONI----Cookie Crumbler? I forgot the person associated with that code phrase.

BARGE----Come on Nelzoni!!!! What if these phones are being taped? Actually, I'm getting my codes mixed up. There is no Cookie Crumbler. Actually, I meant.....I meant......I meant Cookie Rumbler(?).....no, that's not it either!!!!!

NELZONI---Isn't it Bookie Wookie?

BARGE----EXACTLY!!! Bookie Wookie is exactly the code phrase to identify Steven Sprague!!!!!

NELZONI---OK, so what did STEVEN SPRAGUE exactly tell you this time? The last rumor you offered me was that WAVE was going to shock everyone by entering the Water and Power Business by embedding ALL FUTURE WATER, ELECTICAL AND GAS METERING DEVICES with Embassy TPMs w/ metering applets!!! WAVE would get paid whenever someone flushed their toilet, flipped on a light, drank from a water faucet!!!!

BARGE---Trust me Nelzoni, that's coming!!!! Anyway, here are my fresh notes....and here is what Steven Sprague, I mean Cookie Rookie told me about 30 minutes ago. BUT DON'T TELL A SOUL!

NELZONI---Nothing is ever leaked through me! I will tell no one! Anywhere! Anytime! My lips are sealed! (Nelzoni's wife is heard whispering in the background "Nelzy dear, I'm still trying to reach Snackman for a 3 way phone hook up.").

BARGE--Ok, I trust you brother!!! Cookie Lookie, told me the following.......

NELZONI---I'm ALL EARS, SPIT IT OUT!

BARGE----Bookie Lookie, told me that WAVE was going to show the WORLD "in the near term future a quarter or two away that will connect some of the dots to make it easier for everybody to understand where we could apply Trusted Computing in a more consumer space."

NELZONI---Holy cat manure! Bookie Lookie really told you that? Did he really say "a quarter or two away"?

BARGE--I swear to it, I'm quoting him VERBATIM!!!! He said "near term" and ONLY a "a quarter or two away". Yes, AS I HAVE ALWAYS PREDICTED------TRUSTED COMPUTING IN THE CONSUMER SPACE IS GOING TO HAPPEN SOON!!!!!!!! SCREW THE ENTERPRISE SECTOR!!!! Bookie Mookie conjoined together indisputably, inextricably Trusted Computing and the Consumer Space....and it would happen SOON SOON SOON SOON!!!!!! I wrote it down. Let me repeat it: "in the near term future a quarter or two away that will connect some of the dots to make it easier for everybody to understand where we could apply Trusted Computing in a more consumer space."


NELZONI---I'm feeling so euphoric right now I could CRY!!!! What else did Bookie Whoppie say? Please tell me EVERYTHING!!!! I'm on my knees!!!! I'm begging you!!!!!! I can smell Wealth and Success and above all, THE ENVY of Sordid Humanity as they GAZE UPON MY INFINITE WEALTH AS WAVE INFINITELY SURGES HIGHER AND HIGHER AND HIGHER!!!

BARGE---Nelzoni, Shut-up, you're losing it!!!! - If you took Meditation lessons like I have for the past 20 years, you'd learn how to compose yourself in the face of inevitable soon to come EUPHORIC UPSURGES!!!

NELZONI---Right on, brother!!! I'm rushing back to planet earth......Just made a soft landing!!!! So what else did Bookie Floopie tell you?

BARGE----Ok, brace yourself. Let me look at my notes. Holy Moses, I can't help it. I'm starting to get dizzy, my head is spinning....I just can't help SWOONING whenever I read this verbatim part.

SNACKMAN---Get on with it Barge!!!! Drop the HISTRIONICS YOU IDIOT!!!!

BARGE---Who in the hell was that? That sounded like Snackman's voice!!!! Nelzoni, this is supposed to be TOP SECRET!!!

NELZONI---That was my wife.....for good reason, she listens to all my telephone conversations.

BARGE----Well, get her off that testosterone hormone therapy it's making her a baritone. Anyway where was I?

SNACKMAN---You're looking at your notes and entering a SWOON!!!!

BARGE---Thanks Mrs. Nelzoni!!!!! Ok, give me a moment to get back into my SWOON MOOD!!! (A LONG PAUSE).

SNACKMAN---Get on with it!!!!

BARGE----Hold on to your horses.....I'm trying to get back into my swoon mood.....Oh wow what a SWOON RUSH I just had----Bookie Whoopie, said, and I quote: The "Consumer PC groups" understand what WAVE is talking about. "Intel, HP, IBM etc"....are going "to ship all of their consumer platforms with a TPM" And WAVE is going to "help them manage it" ALL!!!!

SNACKMAN/NELZONI(together)----That's VERBATIM???

BARGE---YES!!!!! YES!!!! YES!!!!!!!!

NELZONI----YES!!!!? YES!!!!!? YES!!!!!?

SNACKMAN---YES!!!!!!? YES!!!!!!? YES!!!!!!!?

BARGE----YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! And there is MORE!!!

SNACKMAN----NO MORE PLEASE!!!! A PURE EUPHORIC ENDORPHIN HORMONAL FLOOD IS SURGING AND OVERSPILLING INTO EVER CREVICE OF MY BRAIN!!! I'M BEGINNING TO SWOON DANGEROUSLY!!! (Snackman is heard to COLLAPSE with a THUD to the floor).

NELZONI-----STOP IT BARGE!!!! MY HEAD IS ALSO SWOONING!!!!!!!(Nelzoni is heard to COLLAPSE with a THUD to the floor).

(Barge is heard to hang up the phone. He is then heard to dialing another number)

BARGE---Hello! Larry Dudash!!! Have I got some info to unload on you!!! But promise me.....you won't tell a soul, including Mossberg?

DUDASH---From one humble soul to another: I would never betray you or the BOARD! NOW SPIT IT OUT!!!!


THE ABOVE ATTEMPT AT "LIGHT" HUMOR WAS DERIVED DIRECTLY FROM THE BELOW CC TRANSCRIPT:

http://www.unclever.com/wavx/

SKS: And I think that provides somewhat of a vacuum in the consumer space that Microsoft is ultimately going to fill. We're certainly doing some aspects in that. I think there’s a tremendous role, and we certainly have historical background in the context of how would I apply trusted computing to content management. And I'm not going to say too much more than that. Let, we have some very interesting opportunities to mature in that area. Let them mature and then let me articulate why we think it’s cool that we did what we did. And where we connect the rest of the dots.


But I see that as very real, very practical, hopefully something I can show you in the near term future a quarter or two away that will connect some of the dots to make it easier for everybody to understand where we could apply Trusted Computing in a more consumer space. And it’s a tremendously interesting opportunity, but this is a place where we are much more leading the charge by ourselves as opposed to have the strong interest of the enterprise PC guys inside, take any one of the partners that are out there, even knowing what we are talking about never the less necessarily wanting to see it happen, because they don’t generate any business from it. Their consumer PC groups do. And there aren’t very many consumer PCs that are shipping today with Trusted Platforms. So let’s go create the customer demand. You know, how hard is it for an Intel, HP, IBM etc to ship all of their consumer platforms with a TPM? It’s not hard at all. The customer service model is a little ugly today. Right? Because they have no IT guy to help them manage it. And so we have to help the consumer market to show how that’s going to happen.