Dateline Vancouver:
And what a week this has been for President, CEO, CFO, COO, Director and all around businessman extraordinaire, Lee Balak.
First was the purge of ex-President Wolf Meyerfeld from the high throne of Powertec President. Next was a whirlwind shopping spree for attire appropriate for the sudden inauguration. A new pair of stone washed, relaxed fit Wranglers were chosen along with a new leather trench coat. The end result was a stunning look that crossed between Steven Seagal and Wyatt Earp. To finish the "I'm not really a pussy" look, Lee's long, flowing, somewhat feminine-looking locks were bunched into a tight ponytail.
All was now ready for the sometimes emotional swearing-in ceremony, which was attended by dignitaries from throughout Vancouver. This took place, appropriately, on the US's Presidents Day. There wasn't a dry eye in the house as Lee placed his hand on the Bible and spoke the words; "I, state your name, promise to uphold the position of President of Powertec - etc. etc., so help me God."
One final item was on the shopping list for our President-elect, a new car. After all, no self-respecting President of a company that can't find its ass with both hands would be caught dead without a flashy new ride. At press time, the choice had been narrowed down to the Ferrari, Maserati or Porsche. We will interrupt your program with a news flash once the final choice has been made.
Next was a trip to the company vault where Lee took quick inventory of the number of shares still in the treasury. He wanted to be certain that no hanky-panky had taken place in his three-month absence. The next order of business was the selection of a new PR firm for the timely execution of the many, many News Bulletins to be coming out of Powertec. The firm chosen must include an expert in the art of deciphering just exactly what Lee's sometimes mystically spelled and grammatically challenging notes are actually stating. "There will be no more ‘fuzz' in our bulletins." stated Balak recently.
THIS JUST IN:
According to a source who has asked to be kept anonymous, Balak has left Vancouver and is traveling, in disguise, to Las Vegas, Nevada for a meeting with ex-Director and inventor of many products now in use, Alvin Snaper. Secrecy is necessary as there is apparently a warrant out for Balak's arrest in Nevada. It is reported that Balak is going to attempt to "make nice" with Snaper in an attempt to have the warrant lifted.
Film at 11
