A statistician suddenly became despondent because he feared his five-year old computer was not Year-2000 compliant. Since statisticians by nature are frugal, he consulted a mail order catalog thinking he might find something within his price range. He was surprised to see just what he wanted on the very first page. The advertisement read, "The Little Red Devil specially priced at $10.00 until Jan.1, 2000! This exceptional machine is fully Y2K compliant and ships with SPSS pre-loaded. Hurry while supply lasts."
The statistician was overjoyed and immediately ordered the "The Little Red Devil."
When the package arrived in several days, he was quite concerned that it was very small and weighed only several pounds. Nevertheless, he quickly unwrapped the package and skimmed off all the peanut-foam packing. There cradled in the box staring him squarely in the face in all its splendor and glory was a red Etch-A-Sketch!!! Underneath the Etch-A-Sketch lie a single yellow sheet of technical Instructions.
The statistician angrily pulled the sheet out and began reading the list of troubleshooting questions and answers.
THE LITTLE RED DEVIL-MODEL Y2K
Q: My Little Red Devil has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn off my Little Red Devil?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document Window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: Why is there only 2K of memory?
A: This is just enough to recharge the magnetic field every 1000 years.
Q: How do I launch SPSS with my Little Red Devil?
A: Shake it, Put it down, Shake it again, and then Shake it once more vigorously.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Little Red Devil?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Little Red Devil?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save a document on my Little Red Devil?
A: Don't shake it.
Finally, if you have any further questions not covered by the above, call our toll-free hot line at 1-800-SHAKEIT.
By now the statistician was furious and he slammed the Etch-A-Sketch to the ground and shattered the high resolution screen into thousands of pieces. He boiled for several minutes then went directly to his study closet, tugged on a musty box, and pulled out his heavy Marchant rotary calculator from the 1960's!!
*Just had to get a Y2K joke into the Gallery before this whole page evaporates into the ether on January 1. A big thank you to Alan Kline from the HERKY listserv for suggesting a similar joke which I took the liberty to modify extensively.
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