Derf's Grotto

[Mattu]

Very rarely do I form a mental image of someone for as long as I've known you -- over the Internet for a few hours?

Here's my guess:

Some kind of beard
Like to wear 70's clothes
Not too much taller than 5'
Sex machine
Wear the shirts with the chest hair hanging out, with gold chains

You remind me of Goldmember from the new Austin Powers. A little, hairy, pimp.

Am I close?