Reportedly by "Countrygent" on Stockhouse
CKKM Diamunds Thanks New Janitor For Cleaning Up Company
Thursday February 17, 6:29 pm ET
LAS VEGAS--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Feb. 17, 2005--CKKM Diamunds Inc. (Pink Sheets: C-CUP) today announced it has completed a major initiative to spruce up its Las Vegas business offices.
On Feb. 9, 2005, CKKM engaged Juan Ramirez, a janitor formerly employed by the Las Vegas Municipal Bus Company specializing in hard-to-remove spills and stains, as chief custodian and cleaner to guide CKKM through its health and sanitation requirements. "When I joined the board one of my first comments to Urbane was, 'What the heck is that sour smell in this boardroom?'. A lot more goes on in here than alot of people might guess from reading our press releases, and there were coffee cups, cigarette butts, old Dominos boxes and take-out bags all over the place, and what looked suspiciously like bloodstains in a few places on the carpet. These guys had just lost sight of the fact this is one of the world's leading diamund exploration companies, not a motorcycle gang clubhouse. My old chum Howie Hughes wouldn't have come within a mile of what had become a minor toxic dump site. A prime component of my plan to reinstate CKKM to its proper glory was to get the offices looking a little nicer than a run-down Motel 6 Lobby, which difficult task was efficiently and expeditiously handled by Mr. Ramirez," stated Robert A. Machoo, co-chairman of CKKM.
"On behalf of the company and its stockholders, we would like to sincerely thank Juan, and his wife, who did a few loads of laundry for me as well," puffed Urbane Casavaplant, CEO/president of CKKM.
With its ofices now lemony fresh and sparkling clean, CKKM can now file current, quarterly and annual reports with the SEC disclosing vital corporate information to the investing public and its stockholders without fear such filings may be a viable mode of transmission of highly virulent strains of strep or staff virus. However, due to the length of time CKKM has not been properly cleaned there are a substantial number of garbage bags and empties yet to be picked up by the good men and women of the Greater Las Vegas County Sanitation Department. Readers of this press release are encouraged to drive by any evening after 8:00 pm Las Vegas time when Juan is usually vacuuming the front hallway, and wave through the front windows.
"We are extremely appreciative of the confidence with which we can now sit down in the executive washroom. I have sat in there in the past and well, it reminded me of my days before the revolution in Cuba, and those aren't exactly happy memories of enjoying a little quiet time in the can at the Four Seasons, if you get my drift" said Machoo.
CKKM is currently working toward completing a restocking of the office fridge. "The Coffee Mate says best before July '05, and I suppose we could use it, but we don't want to take a chance at this point in our ceaseless exertions on behalf of our super-loyal shareholders" said Mr. Casavaplant. "I was into the Pepto Bismol bigtime last week, and I had to let a few biggies fly at the Executive Committee meeting. We had to crank open a few windows because Bob started coughing real bad. Sure, it might have been the salad bar at the Alladin, but I really wonder about that Coffee Mate. It was left out over the weekend a few weeks back, and I think Bob may have forgotten to put the lid back on. He is getting a little forgetful. So we talked it over and found room in the development budget for some of that Coffee De-lite, which a few of the boys say is pretty good, if you get the French Vanilla." Investors and stockholders are being asked to please refrain from contacting Juan to allow him to focus on completing the task at hand, and pop down to the Qwicky Mart for coffee supplies.
Funny-Looking Statements
This press release may contain statements that constitute "funny-looking statements" as defined under U.S. federal securities laws describing this, that and other things we are supposed to report now and again.
Generally the words "believe," "expect," "intend," "estimate," "anticipate," "establish," "project" and similar expressions are not understood in exactly the same way by everyone, leading to misunderstandings sometimes described as hysterical in nature. Funny-looking statements are based on current expectorations and assumptions that are subject to certain crazy things and other matters we don't want to discuss at this time that could cause your actual financial standing to differ materially from your wishful projections. Such funny-looking statements are inherently amusing to us, and actual results may differ in the most curious ways imaginable from those expressed or implied in the funny-looking statements. Consequently, readers are cautioned not to place undue reliance on anything you read in these funny-looking statements, which upon closer examination may seem slightly irrelevant as of the date they are made.
CKKM's actual results could differ materially from such funny-looking statements because of factors such as: reality; unforeseen lack of whatever might be required; the effectiveness of CKKM's personal grooming and office sanitation initiatives; and other risks associated with waking up each day. CKKM undertakes no obligation to publicly update or revise any funny-looking statements to reflect reality or the potential necessity to close up shop and high-tail it out of town to foreign jurisdictions where the rum is cheap and the women are friendly.
Contact:
CKKM Diamunds Inc.
Joey Fonzarelli, 306-123-3355
ckkm@mail.casavaplantminingyerwallit.com
Source: CKKM Diamunds Inc.
