Any Good Jokes?

[PappaJohn]

Market attitude.

A copy of a copy of a copy.

Posts from the Yahoo WGAT message board by a poster that
calls himself “dinner and a fine whine”

WGAT down again. It is just so unfair!
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/9/00 7:46 pm
Msg: 13456 of 22370 The market goes up and WGAT goes down. The
market goes down and WGAT goes down. Why does this always happen
to me? Why doesn't this go straight up? It is not fair.Why all the buy
ratings but no buying? Why no news? Wink has news. Liberate has news.
Why don't we ever get any news? Somebody bought 25000 shares at 40
and change after the bell? what do they know that i I don't know? Why
don't I know anything? What about all these shorts. What do they know
that I don't know? Why do there have to be so many shorts anyway?
When will this MM manipulating stop anyway? Why doesn't my research
pay off. It is so unfair. WGAT shareholders having a party but I haven't
been invited. Nobody invites me anywhere. Why didn't I listen to uncle
Joe and buy more Cisco? Why did I buy so much WGAT anyway? My
wife is going to kill me. She hates me anyway. Says I complain too much.
Good product but why can't we get PR ? Nobody ever promotes my
stocks! Why did I have to pick a day when longs are so hostile to post my
first informative post on this board?. The market is just so unfair. WGAT
and my life bite.


Oh man! My wife is going to kill me!
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/9/00 10:22 pm
Msg: 13477 of 22370 First I buy 4000 shares of WGAT based on
information provided by a poster who turns out to be a short. Then I buy a
computer for $1800 and now hypemaster tells us they are practically
giving them away. The people in Peru won't use WGAT because they got
free computers. They can all afford Liberate's high cost because they
have free computers. I can't afford squat because I own WGAT and
bought my computer. Why does this always happen to me?


I sold! I Shorted! I Covered! Oh God!
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/10/00 8:45 pm
Msg: 13607 of 22370 Oh GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ! Why did I watch
that ticker anyway.? It went below 37 and I couldn't take it anymore. I sold
and shorted to recoup my losses. Then I had to cover and rebuy my
shares at 41. Now its at 40!Why did my trades have to go through
anyways? Where were the hackers when I needed them? Why don't the
hackers ever visit my on line broker? My broker sucks! What is going on
here? Why can't people make up there mind on this stock? Doesn't
anyone stick to their convictions anymore? Why do we have to have
uncertainty anyway?WGAT is up 1 and 13/16 and I am down another
$16000. This stock sucks!And whats with these MM's shaking people
out? Oh Man !I am going to get shook out when I get home! Man I have to
hit $51 to break even.Now slow_blood says the stock will only hit 50.
God! why did I ever buy this stock back? There will be more than slow
bleeding when my wife catches up with me. Come Midnight Tel will be
talking about Candles Cups and handles. Man the only cups handles and
candles I will see will be coming at my head. Why did I have to marry that
tempermental woman anyway? I'm tired of being the emotional rock in my
family! I better promise her a blockbuster tommorrow or I'm dead! Hal are
you listening? Oh he's not listening!Nobody ever listens to me!My life
bites. This millenium sucks!Maybe I should move to Peru where they
have all those free computers. Oh no! I can't go there thats where my
wife is from. Why does this always happen to me?


Oh NO! 8:20 and still no news!
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/11/00 8:23 am
Msg: 13633 of 22370 Oh man why did I promise my wife blockbuster
news today? This is going to hurt . We are going into the toilet. I'm going
to get a margin call. I came here looking for a blockbuster.Instead all I
ever get is my wife the ballbuster. Why does this always happen to me?


Oh my God! My wife just called!
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/11/00 7:27 pm
Msg: 13714 of 22370 Someone tipped her that Hal is selling 6 million
shares and she is coming straight home I tried to tell her that it was a
false alarm but she hung up. Oh god I know I should run but I can hardly
move! Why did I have to take all that valium after reading the
hypemaster's post? Man why do people keep posting this stuff? Why
don't people just post informative and helpful facts like mine? I wanted to
comment on today's action but I will have to try later if I still can. She's
coming down the hall now and she's carrying that black candlestick. Oh
man this is going to hurt! Man this board bites! My life sucks! Oh God why
does this always happen to
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee



Oh my god! I'm $12 from a margin call!
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/12/00 10:31 am
Msg: 13761 of 22371 Why oh why doesn't this stock go up? STRM was
up,OPTV was way up.Wink was up.Even Lbrt squeezed out a gain. But
we just went down. We always go down. This is just so unfair. My broker
says don't worry this is just profit taking.I didn't take any profits. Did you
take profits? I never get profits. All I ever get is screwed. What a bunch
of crap!This stock sucks!Conner 75 says its a dog.Partga made
reference to "this puppy". Oh great I own another dog!Dogs suck! My
wife had a dog. He hated me . We had to take him to a vet to have him
put out of his suffering.The vet offered my wife a 2 for 1 deal on me and
the dog. What was that all about? Damn dog died of natural causes by
the time I talked my wife out of it.I hate dogs. Vets suck! My broker says
don't worry this stock is not a dog. Just shorts and MM's screwing with the
stock.This stock has leading technology he says. Nothing can go wrong.
It's smooth sailing from here. Oh man isn't that what they said about the
Titanic? Oh my God I'm on a fricken dogship to ####!My broker says
don't worry short squeeze coming. Too many shorts. Oh man why does
there have to be so many shorts? Why do they all have to be so mean?
Why do they always drive my stocks down? What did I ever do to
them?My broker says they will get theirs. They got theirs alright. They got
their profits. Short squeeze coming! What a bunch of crap! The only
shorts squeeze I ever get is when my wife makes me wear those darn
bikkini briefs.Bikkini briefs suck. I hate shorts! I bet my wife is a short.I
think my wife shorts this stock everyday just so she can whoop my ass
when I get home. ! And who are these MM's people screwing with my
stock? Who do these people think they are? What are they? Has anyone
ever seen them? What does M&M stand for?I close my eyes at night and
all I can see are these these people dressed in colorful candy coated
outfits chuckling while they are screwing with my money and my mind. I
hate M and M'S. Melts in your mouth not in your hand! What kind of scam
was that? MM's, shorts, my broker and this stock suck. I'm $12 dollars
from a margin call and Monday is comming. Margin sucks. Why did I ever
buy on margin anyways? Margin what a scam! Where are we going from
here? I'll tell you where we are going. Straight down! My stocks always go
down. I hate investing! Investing Sucks! Why does this always happen to
me?




What kind of scam is this?
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/13/00 9:13 pm
Msg: 13826 of 22371 Oh this is just great!They just posted interest in my
margin account and triggered a margin call. Margin interest what is that all
about? I don't remember my broker mentioning margin interest. Margin
interest? Oh that is so unfair! "Buy more WGAT" my broker says. "I ain't
got no money" I tell him. He says what about margin? I say "I hear its
risky." "Only for losers" he tells me,"not for astute positive thinkers like
yourself. Remember" he says "I'm your friend I only have your best
interests at heart.If you do well I do well. Easy money he says." I ask
"shouldn't I diversify?" He says he'll let me in on a little secret." S G
Cowan is about to initiate coverage on WGAT with a strong buy. After that
nothing but splits coming." Oh wasn't that just a peachy keen tip now. S G
Cowan upgrades Wgat and it drops $5 dollars a share. S G Cowan
upgrades WGAT and downgrades my financial condition to life support
with one swoop! S G Cowans sucks!Well I tracked my broker down by
phone yesterday. He's down in the Caribbean . I guess he's down there
with my easy money looking out for my best interests. Full service
brokers what are they all about? Weren't there enough used car lots to go
around? My broker sucks ! He costs me money twice once when he
gives me advice and once when I take it. Oh yeah. I almost forgot he is
my friend.I asked him once "If you are my friend why don't you give me
some free advice?". So he did! He told me to marry the woman who is
now my wife. What a #######! I hate my broker! Margin interest,SG
Cowans,WGAT,free money and my broker suck! Well my broker says I'm
overeacting "Splits are coming!" Splits what a scam! "Here I"ll take your
10 and give you two fives. Keep the change!" What the #### is that all
about? This is going to make me rich? No matter! WGAT will never split
as long as I own it. My stocks never split. Splits comming? What a bunch
of crap!I have news for my broker. The splits are here. WGAT and my
broker have split the value of my account in half and my wife is going to
split my lip when she gets wind of this margin call. I hate splits! Splits
suck! Well I have three days to cover my margin call. I hope my stocks
go up tommorow. Oh they won't go up.My stocks never go up. That is not
until the day after I sell them. I wish I had cash. I never have cash. Why
did I put all my cash into my Y2K generator bussiness? Y2K what a scam
that was!Y2k,margin calls and my life suck! Why does this always happen
to me?