Geography
You're on the West Coast when . . .
* You make over $250,000 and still can't afford to buy your own house.
* The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
* The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
* You know how to eat an artichoke.
* You drive to your neighborhood block party.
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You're in New York when . . .
* You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
* You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
* You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
* You think Central Park is "nature."
* You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
* You've ever worn out a car horn.
* You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
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You're in Alaska when . . .
* You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
* Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
* You have more than one recipe for moose.
* Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
* The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.
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You're in the South when . . .
* You get a movie and bait in the same store.
* "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
* after a year you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
* "he needed killin' " is a valid defense.
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You're in Colorado when . . .
* You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
* You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care.
* A pass does not involve a football or dating.
* The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.
* Your bridal registry is at REI.
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You're in the Midwest when . . .
* You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
* Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
* You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
* You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall, I wanna go with."
* Your first job was detasseling.
* When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different."
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"Sometimes, business decisions must be based not on economics,
but on what is right." ~ Ivan Howes