Friday, August 15, 2008 11:58:45 PM
Urban’s own private IPO- - - - - - - - - - - -
By Urban Casavant
August 15, 2008 | Uncle Melvin (henceforth "The Company"), a Nevada corporation, is pleased to announce he's going public. The Company is offering for sale ("Sale"), pursuant to this announcement, up to 2,500,000,000 shares at a price of U.S. $.008 ("Cheap"). The offering is being underwritten by Sayonara Securities.
The Issuer:.....UNCLE MELVIN
Type of Security:.....Common Stock
Common Stock Offered:.....2,500,000,000 shares
Use of Proceeds:.....For expansion of our marketing activities, business operations and scams.
Expected Price Range:.....U.S. $.008 per share (OBO)
Expected OTC Symbol:.....UNKL
PROSPECTUS SUMMARY
This summary highlights information not described more fully elsewhere. This summary is not complete and may not contain all of the information you should consider before investing in our common stock. Prospective investors should carefully consider, then disregard, the matters set forth in the section of this prospectus entitled "Risk Factors." This prospectus contains forward-looking statements based on our current expectations, assumptions, estimates, projections, fondest wishes, wildest dreams, psychic readings and fraudulent intentions. These forward-looking statements involve risks and uncertainties like you would not believe. Our actual results could differ materially from those anticipated in these forward-looking statements as a result of certain factors, as well as others which are none of your ("Your") business.
PROSPECTUS
Our Business:
Melvin (henceforth "The Company") is a private concern focused on the manufacture and dissemination of his own unmerited celebrity and non-specific notoriety. The Company is uniquely positioned to become a premier e-provider of Melvin-related products and services, including, but not limited to: concepts, works in progress, inconsequential notions, self-involved monologues, lengthy, circuitous anecdotes, drunken proselytizing and unsolicited, unwelcome advice. The Company does not otherwise produce saleable goods or services of any kind, including, but not limited to: legal counsel, wart removal, feng shui consultation, shoe repair or the delivery of fancy fruit, regular fruit or bacon wrapped shrimp dinners.
Our Strategy:
The Company's strategy is to call undue and unwarranted attention to itself through use of a premier network of authorized and unauthorized Web sites, cameo appearances, magazine interviews, docudramas, product endorsements, record contracts, multiple marriages, lucrative divorces, flagrant drug addictions, soft-focus workout videos and other acts of shameless narcissism that will appeal to users with high-value demographics, surplus time and little contact with reality.
Our Market:
The dramatic increase in Internet use provides a tremendous opportunity for online advertising, electronic commerce and smooth-talking grifters. We believe the scope of our intended clat ("The Product") and the high-value demographics of our user base ("The Marks") offer a unique opportunity to adequately simulate a mutually beneficial arrangement wherein The Marks receive valuable unspecified goods and vaguely defined services in exchange for cash.
I am not bound to please thee with my answers. William Shakespeare, Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 - 1616)
By Urban Casavant
August 15, 2008 | Uncle Melvin (henceforth "The Company"), a Nevada corporation, is pleased to announce he's going public. The Company is offering for sale ("Sale"), pursuant to this announcement, up to 2,500,000,000 shares at a price of U.S. $.008 ("Cheap"). The offering is being underwritten by Sayonara Securities.
The Issuer:.....UNCLE MELVIN
Type of Security:.....Common Stock
Common Stock Offered:.....2,500,000,000 shares
Use of Proceeds:.....For expansion of our marketing activities, business operations and scams.
Expected Price Range:.....U.S. $.008 per share (OBO)
Expected OTC Symbol:.....UNKL
PROSPECTUS SUMMARY
This summary highlights information not described more fully elsewhere. This summary is not complete and may not contain all of the information you should consider before investing in our common stock. Prospective investors should carefully consider, then disregard, the matters set forth in the section of this prospectus entitled "Risk Factors." This prospectus contains forward-looking statements based on our current expectations, assumptions, estimates, projections, fondest wishes, wildest dreams, psychic readings and fraudulent intentions. These forward-looking statements involve risks and uncertainties like you would not believe. Our actual results could differ materially from those anticipated in these forward-looking statements as a result of certain factors, as well as others which are none of your ("Your") business.
PROSPECTUS
Our Business:
Melvin (henceforth "The Company") is a private concern focused on the manufacture and dissemination of his own unmerited celebrity and non-specific notoriety. The Company is uniquely positioned to become a premier e-provider of Melvin-related products and services, including, but not limited to: concepts, works in progress, inconsequential notions, self-involved monologues, lengthy, circuitous anecdotes, drunken proselytizing and unsolicited, unwelcome advice. The Company does not otherwise produce saleable goods or services of any kind, including, but not limited to: legal counsel, wart removal, feng shui consultation, shoe repair or the delivery of fancy fruit, regular fruit or bacon wrapped shrimp dinners.
Our Strategy:
The Company's strategy is to call undue and unwarranted attention to itself through use of a premier network of authorized and unauthorized Web sites, cameo appearances, magazine interviews, docudramas, product endorsements, record contracts, multiple marriages, lucrative divorces, flagrant drug addictions, soft-focus workout videos and other acts of shameless narcissism that will appeal to users with high-value demographics, surplus time and little contact with reality.
Our Market:
The dramatic increase in Internet use provides a tremendous opportunity for online advertising, electronic commerce and smooth-talking grifters. We believe the scope of our intended clat ("The Product") and the high-value demographics of our user base ("The Marks") offer a unique opportunity to adequately simulate a mutually beneficial arrangement wherein The Marks receive valuable unspecified goods and vaguely defined services in exchange for cash.
I am not bound to please thee with my answers. William Shakespeare, Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 - 1616)
I am not bound to please thee with my answers. William Shakespeare, Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 - 1616)
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