Poet's Corner

[Bird of Prey]

Well, if you liked that one you'll love this one...


It used to be part of Flip Wilson's stand up routine. It is one of my favorites.


Returning home after an extended business trip the master of the house noticed the gardener watering some flowers along the driveway. When he reached the gardener the master of the house, being the kind of man that values his employees stopped and asked the gardener how things were going and had anything happened while the master was away.

The gardener replied, "Thank you for asking, I'm doing well, but nothing's been happening around here."

The Master said, "Nothing's been happening!?! I've been gone 3 months! Surely something happened in all that time!?"

The Gardener replied, "Well, now that I think about it...The dog died."

Master: "The dog died? He was still young! How did the dog die?"

Gardener: "Must have been the horsemeat he ate."

M: "Horsemeat! How did the dog get horsemeat?"

G: "Probably from the dead horse in the barn. The dog found the dead horse in the barn ate the meat and died."

M: "Dead horse in the barn!? How did a dead horse get in the barn?"

G: "From the fire. The fire burnt up the barn and the horse and the dog ate the meat and died."

M: "How did the barn catch fire?!!!"

G: "Most likely the sparks from the house flew over to the barn from the roof, and they burnt up the barn and the horse and the dog ate the meat and died."

M: "The Roof was on fire!? How did the roof catch fire?!!"

G: "Well, the curtains were burning and the fire shot up the wall to the roof, then the roof started burning and the spark flew over to the barn and burnt up the barn and the horse and the dog ate the meat and died."

M: "How did the curtains catch fire?!?!"

G: "Most likely it was the candles around your mother in law's coffin. See, the flame caught on to the curtains and the curtains started burning, the fire shot up the wall to the roof, the roof started burning and the sparks flew over to the barn and they burnt up the barn and the horse and the dog ate the meat and died."

M: "My Mother in law's coffin??!!! She's dead?!?! How?"

G: "Look, I'm only goning to say this one time so you'd better get it straight. Your wife ran off with the poolboy, when your mother in law found out she had a heart attack and died, so we put her coffin in the den and the candles caught the curtains on fire and the curtains started burning, the fire shot up the wall to the roof, the roof started burning and the sparks flew over to the barn and they burnt up the barn and the horse and the dog ate the meat and died. But other than that Ain't nothin' happenin'!"



The Bird of Prey