Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed on all containers:
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
"Sometimes, business decisions must be based not on economics,
but on what is right." ~ Ivan Howes
