You Know You Are in a Texas Church When:
1. People wonder, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the fish were bass or catfish.
2. People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.
3. The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering and five guys stand up.
4. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
5. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because, "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
6. When it rains, everyone is smiling.
7. Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.
8. The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale."
9. The pastor wears boots.
10. Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
11. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
12. Baptism is referred to as "branding."
13. There is a special fund raiser for a new septic tank.
14. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
15. High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.
16. People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy.
17. The final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"
"Sometimes, business decisions must be based not on economics,
but on what is right." ~ Ivan Howes
