Steve - time for some BD levity?
The sun had just set as the shades were being pulled down at the Oil City office. Inside, several persons were scurrying about trying to verify the amount of Company shares they controlled.
Mario was on one phone calling his wife to have her check on the quantity of shares gifted to their two year old son. His estimate of 55 million shares would not be far off. Big Daddy Joe was on another phone asking Jayne to verify the amount of shares he had gifted to another young family member.
That number would exceed 60 Million shares.
Miss Represent and Miss Leed had already erased the ficticious well numbers that had been drawn up to give any one visiting the office, a false sense of asset ownership. They were scribbling share counts and adding them up on the board for all to see. Problem was - they were so accustomed to doubling and adding thousands to any numbers, they were quickly confused.
As Xavier Con was busy eyeballing Miss Represent, Miss Leed informed everyone that the number of shares outstanding was still not known by anyone in the room.
Silence gripped the office. No one dared speak. All waited for Big daddy Joe to produce the unknown number. But, even he was at a loss as to the actual number of shares out. He barked orders to get the numbers of shares the family held. Surely it would be enough to fend off an unwanted coup from defrauded shareholders.
Meanwhile, some nineteen hundred miles to the North, another group was busily tallying their own proxied shares.
This group had hard and fast, factual documentation, and was simply adding up the total number of shares. They could only hope they had enough to override the corrupt and criminal forces that were running the Company.
Both groups had simultaneously come to the same conclusion. Knowing how many shares were out was imperative.
But, even as they pondered, Big Daddy Joe was uncovering the printing press in an effort to guarantee his side would win.
As the night wore on, Big Daddy Joe was hanging the newly printed share documents to dry.
As the Oil City crew sat silent, watching the paper drying, Big Daddy smiled and offerred:"Not to worry. We can declare a two thousand for one stock split for the "L" shares!"
Ingenious, as it was, Big Daddy Joe was still uncertain how many of the coveted "L" shares were in the family coffers.
"That will certainly quell any takeover attempts by those Yankee fools."
Once again, all was well in Oil City. Mario went home to recount his now two-thousand fold shares, as did Jayne, and the little ones. Tomorrow they would all celebrate at Jayne's restaurant. There was asecond reason for the celebration - the restaurant was now totally paid off as a result of diverting additional funds from the company to the establishment.
There would be no need to hire ladies of the evening for the upstairs rooms for additional revenue generation.
Meanwhile - up North, folks were fretting the obvious. Without knowing what percentage of the outstanding shares they controlled, all was a mystery. Perplexed and mentally exhausted, they faced a long night of posturing.
The next day both groups would issue a PR, claiming their own sweet victories. InvestorsHub would be adorned with limitless questions and confused posters. If there was any good news in all of this, there would be two less posters pontificating the effects of projected prices of oil.
One thing was clear - Big Daddy Joe had proven himself to be a good family man....
AI
