Hi Friends:
Many of you have wondered where I had disappeared over
the last 9 days? No reply to Emails or phone or
anything. Well, I took an interesting detour on my
life journey and lived to tell you about it.
I had a quadrupled by-pass heart surgery on the last
day of the year. It was physically painful and
draining, but I felt a mental rebirth as I will start
2002 with a “fresh” blood supply designed to maximize
my energy. What a wonderful gift from God and the
American Medical Technology.
For those who did not know me too long, this is the
second heart attack: the first one was in Christmas
1987, 14 years ago. I was a different man then: I
smoked, I ate, I drank, I worked too much; without any
physical conditioning. I abused my body senselessly
and my spiritual life was equally appalling: I was a
self-centered arrogant executive who was money-hungry,
yet always full of anger and envy.
The first heart attack of 1987 changed my life
profoundly. I quit my high-salaried hi-pressured job
at Em Kay Group, I returned to the simplicity of being
a small businessman in Southern California. I started
playing tennis everyday, working out at least 3 times
a week, eating the right diet and trying every day to
become a person I could call “a true gentleman”,
someone with honesty, integrity, loving, giving,
learning… to really live a life full of purpose.
Everything changed, and I cannot thank God enough for
this spiritual renovation.
However, one thing I still could not face until last
Sunday: I had 3 major blockages in my arteries and my
cardiologist kept asking me to let him operate on
these blockages. The way he described the operation
was too painful for me to actually schedule it. So I
procrastinated for the last 14 years on this matter.
Thanks to my good habit on diet and exercise, I
experienced no pain or problem.
However, just 5 days before Christmas 2001, the flu
virus weakened me to the point of great vulnerability:
by the time I got back to California on 12/29, the
worst was about to start. I had a heart attack with
severe chest pain on Sunday 12/30 and on Monday 12/31
I had an open heart operation which lasted 6 hours.
The operation was successful and I am now a new
physical being with a new energy source. However, the
healing process will take at least 6 weeks and until
then, I can work only at half-capacity. I am glad that
it was over and I am looking forward to the new
challenges like a player looking at a new ball season.
A few quick lessons I have learned from this
life-changing experience:
1. Physically, it is very PAINFUL. I suggest that you
should never try it. I could not forget the moment
when the doctor removed the stitches from the metal
rib frame he just put in one day earlier: I would have
chosen the Nazi torture chamber instead. Therefore, if
you are young, keep your body in a good shape with
diet and exercise; if you are old, make sure that when
the blockages in the arteries are full, you are old
enough to die anyway;
2. I was gone for 7 days but the whole world did not
miss me a bit. I always thought that people would miss
me for at least a few weeks; but the reality is that
you are as important as your delusional ego allows
you. Think of this fact the next time you ask for a
pay raise or demand some concession because ”nothing
could run properly without me.” Like my old mentor
used to say,” The cemetery is full of irreplaceable
persons”;
3. If you are lucky enough, you would meet
kind-hearted angels at the most-needed moments. After
surgery, the 3 nurses who took care of me are so
devoted and giving in their duties that they erased my
cynicism on today’s workforce. They are immigrants
from the Philippines, from El Salvador, and from
Alabama, so they also prove that as a melting pot,
America ‘s experience with them is as successful as
with the Europeans last century.
4. After surgery, I had to learn how to breath, how to
stand, how to walk, how to be toilet-trained just like
a little child. When the major assignment of the day
was to take a shower, your perspective on life would
be improved greatly. A small wildflower, a nice-day
smile, a lonely bird, a blue sky…brought to my life
more happiness and meaning than they used to. I am
grateful for such gifts forever.
5. Above all, when I was (almost) at my deathbed, my
only thoughts are on the people I love and like. I did
not think of a single enemy. I wonder why I spent so
much time thinking about them when I was working. As
for the people I love, I am so grateful that my life
could be blessed with such sweet memories and
wonderful feelings. No, you cannot bring with you
anything when you are dead, but you can certainly
bring with you the most beautiful memories.
There you have it: old soldiers just refuse to die.
There are always battles to be fought, war to be won
and plans to be carried out. I have 421 Emails in my
Inbox after 9 days, so if I don’t get around to you
sooner, please don’t write me off. The good old Alan
Phan is still old but much better, I promise.
May God bless your heart and your spirit. 2002 will be
the Great Year we are always looking for.
Best
Alan
Keep the Faith!
M&M Man
