Two Old Jewish Virgins: A Yiddish Tale
There were two alter maidel shvesters (old sisters), both of whom were virgins.
It was Saturday night, & Sadie looked at Molly & said, "Ich vilt nisht shtarben a virgin
(I don't want to die a virgin).
Ich gayen arum & ich nisht kimpt ahaim until I've been shtupped!" (I'm going out,
& I'm not coming home until I've been laid).
Molly replies, "Vell, make sure you're home by 10:00, so I shouldn't worry about you."
Ten o'clock rolled around, and there was no sign of Sadie ...11, 12 and then 1 o'clock
... Finally about 1:15 AM the front door flew open & in came Sadie, and she headed
straight for the bathroom.
Molly went and knocked on the door. "Do bist goot, Sadie?" (Are you ok, Sadie?)
No answer, so she opened the bathroom door, and there sat Sadie with her pants
around her ankles, legs ousgeshprait (wide apart), and her head stuck between her
legs looking in her "knish" (You figure it out).
"Vous is de mair (what's the matter), Sadie? Vat's wrong?" asked Molly again.
"Molly," replied Sadie, "it vuz 10 inches long ven it vent in, and only 5 inches ven it
ousgehkimpt (came out). Ven I find the other half, you're gonna have the time of
your life !
