Any Good Jokes?

[PappaJohn]

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world.
A pessimist fears that this is true.

There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

When kleptomania gets really bad, just take something for it.

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Stupidity gets you into a mess; but can't get you out.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Love is grand; divorce is quite a few more grand.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

Indecision is often confused with flexibility.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

A day without sunshine is like night.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.